“Three Ways to Live Like a Bonobo” + One Way to Write Like a Baboon
- It’s concise. Under two minutes!
- It’s smart. It’s based on The Bonobo Way, after all.
- It’s sexy… though PG enough for Facebook where, so far, it’s gotten over 22,000 views
- It’s female-empowering. Amen and awomen to that
- It supports bonobo conservation.
- It’s funny without making fun of anybody.
Pretty awesome all-around!
Well, not all around. Unfortunately, the video is attached to an article that really sucks.
Lady is a Vamp
Speaking of sucking, the nastiest name this name-calling orgy comes up with for us is “vampiric.” Wow! In our long, lust-filled lives, Capt’n Max and I have been called a lot of names, but never before have we been called out for dangerous dental work.
Seriously, this is “snark journalism” at its nadir: bloated, convoluted and poorly written, oozing with something warm and sticky that the writer calls “love,” even as it dribbles snotty rebukes, misquotes and mistakes, artificially sweetened with backhanded compliments and spiked with noxious, punkish, downright baboonish attacks. My apologies to baboons, and for the lengthy sentence, but you get the picture. With all the sparkling wit of a lead brick thrown by a sexually frustrated schoolyard bully, it strenuously tries to make big fun of me, Max, Bonoboville and everyone else within the writer’s poison-penned purview… without being very funny. Basically, it’s the opposite of the video.
And did I mention the name-calling?
Whew! When two-faced bullies call you names like these and try to push you down in the mud, you must be doing something right. I will address the whole story in greater depth at other times, but for now, I’ll take Michelle Obama’s advice (“When they go low, you go high”), and I will keep my stilettos clean.
We Heart “3 Ways to Live Like a Bonobo”
In the meantime, please enjoy “Three Ways to Live Like a Bonobo” on YouTube and on Facebook, directed and co-written by the talented and congenial Katrina Lencek-Inagaki who had nothing whatsoever to do with Miss Snark’s sad, sophomoric excuse for an article. The video is produced by Mel Magazine editor Zak Stone, who did have something to do with the article but, well, nobody’s perfect, and he did a good thing in producing and helping to script the video. Most exciting, it stars our favorite pansensual power couple, Daniele Watts and Chef Be*LIVE, who do a fantastic job acting and just “BEing” their bonoboësque selves. It also features sexy Bella Carrera, Ikkor the Wolf, Jacquie Blu, Abe Bonobo, Zane Bono, and Del Rey’s bed. My silky, swingy hair is done by Mark Brown, my cool Bonobo Way tank top is by Christopher Lee Designs and, in his star turn as the consummate foot rubber, we have the Captain of My Heart, my prime-mate for over 24 years and counting, Capt’n Max. Banana by Ralph’s.
We deeply appreciate that the video ends with a plea to help save the real bonobo apes from extinction in their native rainforest habitat in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Please give what you can to Lola ya Bonobo, the Bonobo Conservation Initiative and other organizations helping our highly endangered kissing cousins. So many of us have so much to learn from our bonobo relatives about the joys of sex, inclusivity, empathy, compassion, female solidarity and making peace through pleasure. Especially a certain Miss Snark. Happy Trails, Miss Snark! Until we meet again.
© November 3, 2016. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, broadcaster and author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure. For information, call 310-568-0066.