Halloween Skydiving Sex
Length: 92:44 minutes Date: 10/29/2011
Flying can be an aphrodisiac, and no, I don’t mean being felt up by TSA. Freud said flying dreams represent sexual desire. Others say romance and liberation. Think Superman squiring Lois Lane through the friendly skies without a plane. But actually flying, falling—or skydiving—while having sex mid-air would be a pretty hair-raising experience, even for the completely shaved….So, in the scary sex spirit of Halloween, we welcome some guests from the more daredevil, don’t-try-this-at-home end of the human sexuality spectrum, a porn star pair that put members of the Mile High Club to shame when they dropped over two miles from a plane while having sex doggystyle in nothing but their parachutes and birthday suits. A more grounded sort of thrill-seeking adventure lands on stage once the fishnets fall away and the Hitachi, the Monkey Rocker, my magic dildonic vibrating broom, my magic fingers and the American flag all get mounted in a valiant, diligent and ultimately triumphant effort to squirt. Since a few other scheduled guests had bailed at the last minute due to food poisoning (nasty Halloween candy?) and zombie attacks, we also draft a few colorfully costumed studio audience members into featured guest seats. Trick or parachute!
VooDoo: Neither virgin to the Speakeasy nor the friendly skies, it’s been almost 10 years since we saw this porndog here at RadioSUZY1 back when he was just a porn pup and quite frisky with his then-wife Nicole Sheridan. But now that he’s an old pro who’s already mastered cocktailing the sports of skydiving and sex, he steadfastly refuses to pull the cock out of the cockpit this time. Oh well… at least he brought his skydiving sex partner, hot little Hope, though he can’t help but complain that she now feels like a sister to him (and no, he’s not into incest fantasies). Come to think of it, any physical evidence of his mysterious member is noticeably missing from his otherwise amazing film of his skydiving sex. Of course, Voodoo has an excellent alibi for this: He is shooting most of the film himself as he humps Hope mid-flight, and the other cameraman never got close enough to show penetrative proof. So he’ll just have to do it again sometime…
Hope: Recently inducted into the porn industry via her skydiving sex debut with Voodoo (causing her to lose her job as a receptionist at the skydiving school where Voodoo was an instructor, as well as start a mild ruckus at her alma mater, Taft High, where some feel she’s a superhero and others say she’s the devil), Hope is brand spanking new to the Speakeasy. But it’s not long before she takes off all her racing costume, makes herself right at home on my bed, presents her bared buns for a spanking, masturbates to a squirting orgasm with my Hitachi (and my fingers), and rides the Monkey Rocker like a cowgirl. Hope is a hot number, proud to be a “slut” and determined to become “bigger than Jenna Jameson.” At the tender age of 20, she may be too young to drink Agwa but she’s definitely old enough for Voodoo and me to lick lime salt off her naked and totally shaved little body.
Nurse Margot: This cute, curvy blonde in the nurse getup is new to RADIOSuzy1 and keeps her invisible chastity belt on, despite Voodoo’s attempts to take her flying. More drawn to the depths than the heights, Margot is, in real life, a certified lifeguard, and her fantasy is to save a life while giving mouth-to-mouth. Her worst nightmare is for her partner to die during her sex. Funny, Voodoo swears that’s the way he wants to go.
Jonni Lynch: This hot new BBW porn chick, costumed as “Beetle Slut” for the holiday, shows us her basic black panties and describes having scary sex in a Goth club parking lot, as well as making a homemade strap-on with panties and a dildo, because sometimes you just have to give it to your BF in the butt (especially when you’re having sex in his wife’s bed). Later Jonni gives a sloppy blowjob to my snake-attired producer Tasia (who earlier appeared dressed as the Devil that embodied the snake in the Garden of Eden).
Lyn Jensen: Her first time at the Speakeasy, Lyn found her way here after interviewing me about bisexuality for Blade Magazine of Long Beach. She won’t show her panties, but she specializes in reviewing erotic Manga. She talks about how sex is scary for everyone, and is amongst the many who yearn in vain for a little sexual hoodoo from Voodoo.
Drowned Amelia Earhart: Living-dead proof that when it comes to sex while flying, somebody should be watching where you’re going—or else. The babe under the goggles actually works here at the Speakeasy and manages to take notes on this show while being on it (could be that’s how her plane crashed).
Pantyboy asks for all female guests to reveal their panties (though Jonni is the only one wearing any) and asks Voodoo how he got into porn.
Lisa requests that Hope ride the Monkey Rocker.
Special thanks to Justine Middleton for editorial assistance with this bloggamy.
Weapons of Mass Discussion:
Skydiving Sex, Flying and Sex in Dreams, Sex while Falling at 100 mph, Making a Splash in the Porn Industry, Being Teased by Howard Stern, Skydiving is a Scary Business, Filming while Fornicating and Flying, Being 20 Years Old, Fearless and Reckless, Bible Moms Calling the Media, Fear of Dying while Having Sex, Saving Lives while Having Sex, Mouth to Mouth Resuscitation, Fear of Getting Caught Having Sex, Licking the Assholes of Strange Men, Ass Fucking in Your Lover’s Wife’s Bed, Sexual Attitudes in High School, Coming out of the Closet, Sluts and Prudes, Girls being Divided into Groups by Male-Dominated Society, Thank God for Sluts, What’s so Good or Moral About Women who Don’t Have Sex?, The Purity Myth, Being a Virgin Doesn’t Make You a Good Person, Caring Relationships vs. Casual Relationships, Fetish of Repressing Others, Telling your Family You’re in Porn, 666 for the Devil, Vibrators with a lot of Juice, Loving the Hitachi, Too Slutty for Condoms, Squirt for Peace, Go Skydiving and Become a Slut, Pussy Waxing Hurts, Butthole Waxing Doesn’t Hurt, Squirting Mission, Sky Squirting, Hardcore Filming Needs the Right Camera Man, Having Sex with Your Little Sister, Maybe in the Elevator, Mouth to Cock Resuscitation, Lifesavers Don’t Choke, Getting Fucked by the Government, Sex and Business Don’t Mix, Wind Vibrating Against the Clit in the Sky, Spraying Water on the Pussy on a Hot Day by the Fan, Dirty Old Truckers Looking Down On You Masturbating in Traffic, Sex in the Sky with a New Victim, Strap-on Sex while Skydiving, Bonobo Way
Riding My Magic Dildonic Vibrating Broom, Modeling Halloween Costumes, Stripping, Spanking the Slut Who Screwed in the Sky, Rubbing Spanked Buns with Chinchilla Mitt, Propello Screaming O for Voodoo, Stripping Hope Down, Little Titties Without a Bra, Taking the Fishnets off, Naked Girl for Halloween, Squirting on the American Flag Towel, Inserting One Finger into Pussy, Inserting Two Fingers into Pussy, Completely Hairless Soft Wet Pussy, Waxed Asshole, Pinching Sweet Nipples, Hitachi on Vulva Lips, Broom Hair on Pussy, Saying My Name While Coming, Fingering the G-spot, Cumming Twice, Staying in an Altered State, Nurse on the Bed, Lying with Legs Spread Open, Riding the Monkey Rocker, Monkey Rocker Dildo in Pussy and Broom Dildo in Mouth, Squirting on The Monkey rocker, Agwa Booby Shots Off the Nurse, Agwa Torso Shots Off the Naked Girl, Multiple Orgasms