Luzer Twersky, Dawning Star, Gonzo Bonobo, Dr. Suzy, Snake Eve, Jux Lii, G0ddess Maya, Father Abraham, Janel. Inserts: Cici, Catherin Imperio, Samantha Fairley. Main Photo: L’Erotique

Length 1:34:29   Date: Aug. 2, 2014

We don’t realize it’s the Wiccan harvesting holiday of Lammas (Anglo Saxon: “loaf-mass”), a.k.a. Lughnasadh, until the last third of the show when sultry Cici the Wicked Wiccan Witch informs us as she strips down to nothing but her slave bracelets and lip gloss to perform Bonoboville Communion in honor of Lugh the Celtic god of corn and craftiness. But in retrospect, this whole show is a fitting celebration of the Wiccan “feast of the first fruits,” as the gals and guys of Bonoboville taste the fruits of each other’s nipples and toast the fruitage of our new social media site (inspired by the real bonobos). We’re still in beta, but getting’ bettah!

Our first “guest” is Maya, the vivacious new assistant manager of the Dr. Susan Block Institute and active Bonobovillite, looking even prettier than usual, having doffed her cute nerd glasses for a more glamorous, lacy, TV-starry look. Though Maya made a brief appearance last Saturday, this time we delve deeper into the sense of adventure and sexual openness that brings her to Bonoboville. Plus we see a lot more of those perky boobies of hers. Brad, her avid fan (also a Bonoboville member), doesn’t even wait for them to come out before calling in as he celebrates Lammas by stroking his loaf-mass, dedicating his very vocal climax to G0ddess Maya: Oh-My-Ahhhh!

Dawning Star, our new social media assistant, therapist and fellow Bonobovillian, also takes the mike for her virgin DrSuzy.Tv appearance. She highlights her Apache and Comanche heritage by wearing Nikki’s fringed Native American tribal-style vest which she teasingly opens, button by button, until her whole glorious rack is on display. Talk about a melon harvest! Gasps and sighs all around as Maya and Dawn lick salt from each other’s nipples and partake of a rousing Bonoboville Communion featuring Dirty Tequila as firewater.

Though females rule in Bonoboville (both in the wild among the real bonobos and here among the human bonobos), the guys have a good time too, as Bonoboville webmaster Father Abraham, graphic designer extraordinaire Gonzo Bonobo and lapsed Hasidic actor/fashion-plate Luzer Twersky, attest in this merry melon harvest festival of a show.

Mid-broadcast, in comes Bonoboville Renaissance Man Jux Lii, creator of fine leather and cannabis-infused products (providing two different kinds of “contact high”), as well as our fave photographer, though this time he’s on the hot seat. Accompanying Jux is the lovely Janel who tells a funny story about encountering some very bonoboësque blowback from a blowjob she gave to a bartender she ran into last night. We haven’t seen Janel since we were Downtown, and her previously pink signature hair is now red, but her bangs are still cut into a perfect point (is that a Wiccan thing?), her boobs are still gloriously natural and round, her pierced nipples perfect platters for Bonoboville Communion with the Mayor of Bonoboville’s specially endorsed Ron de Jeremy rum. Though Janel has never had the pleasure of tasting the Hedgehog’s personal vintage, once he did grab her boobs (the signature Ron de Jeremy move) at a party.

In the midst of all this bare boobage (ten naked nipples in one live broadcast!), we get a call from a foot fetishist named Romeo, a fan of my classic foot fetish primer, who yearns to take footsie to a whole new level. We also take a call from former U.S. President Billy Jeff Clinton, who yearns to “fill a position on his staff,” and is now an official member of Bonoboville! Other topics: cake farts, coal-mining, Curious George, metrosexuals and Cici’s ringing singing bowl. Also we make another plea for peace from those who drop bombs and fire rockets. No cause, neither freedom nor security, excuses this kind of “blood harvest,” the slaughter of our fellow humans.

BUT we move onto happier concerns before we close. It being the first Saturday of August, we turn the page of A Buttload O’ Months, our 2014 wall calendar featuring Catherine Imperio and Samantha Fairley, and watch their hilarious but super-sexy “Unlicensed Professionals” episode. Speaking of butts, check out what Sam pulls out of Cate’s at the end of this show. Happy Loaf-Mass… er—Lammas!