Virginity Pledge Leads to Unsafe Sex
There used to be something called sex education in America, including straightforward information about the birds ‘n’ the bees, conception, contraception, and how to mend a broken heart. Sex Ed was the most popular elective course in my high school, taught by the hottest teacher. And it worked. Though there was a lot of sex going on at parties, dances, in the parking lot, in the bleachers at ball games and who knows where else, there were very few pregnancies; just one or two in a senior class of 600.
Now, that’s all changed. American sex education is now abstinence education. Federally funded “abstinence only until marriage” programs have been gaining strength since the 1990s and currently dominate the sex ed landscape. Contraception is rarely discussed, except to say (wrongly) that it’s not reliable. U.S. law now requires all federally funded sex education programs to inform teenagers that ”sexual activity outside the context of [monogamous and heterosexual] marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects.” Where is the scientific evidence of this statement? Nowhere. But when did lack of evidence stop the Bushies from forcing their Make-War-Not-Love agenda down people’s throats (nonconsensual fellatio pun intended).
Moreover, as Sharon’s Smith’s incisive Counterpunch article “Abstinence Backfires” reveals, these fear-mongering, myth-infested, abstinence-only programs have contributed to “soaring rates of unplanned pregnancies, out-of-wedlock births and, yes, abortions among women who are young or poor.” As Smith points out, a recent Columbia University study found that 88 percent of adolescent girls who take the “virginity pledge” have premarital sex anyway. And one-third of these publicly declared Vestal Virgins are less likely to use contraception when they do have sex. Guess if you put a condom on, you can’t get away with saying “it just happened.”
Consensual sex isn’t automatically “bad” for teenagers or other living things. But it is rather complicated. Our society’s anti-sex hysteria just adds to the complications. This is why straightforward, science-based sex education like American schools were starting to offer in the 1970s-80s is so important.
Since its May (Happy Masturbation Month!), we should also remember what one of the great American sex educators of our times, former U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders tried to tell us: One of the best ways to prevent unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is through good old-fashioned jacking and jilling off. It’s safe, easy , educational (you learn a lot about your body through touching it), and relatively uncomplicated.
Masturbation may be a better preventative than we even know. For instance, if former President Bill Clinton had simply followed Dr. Elders’ advice instead of firing her, we might very well not be in the huge socio-sexo-political-economic mess we are in today.
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polybi5@yahoo.com
05 · 12 · 06 @ 7:59 pm
Read this story at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=379738&in_page_id=1879 ©2006 Associated New MediaWhere do we start……….well, I won’t say much, since the handful of people in both countries who do have a brain can see through the folly of this.Just a couple of queries, tho’. First…you want to cut off benefits to kids? Innocent bystanders in all of this? Fine. Do that. Just don’t write to me when the product of your prudery crawls through your window and steals your telly.And as for say no to kids. How do you expect your kids to do what you wouldn’t at age whatever? Once and for all, your kids are having sex. Have been. Always will. Probably you did. Nothing changes.What MUST change is the rampant erotophobia that permeates thoughts like “just say no.” Tell that to a 16 years-old’s hormones. Maybe you might have dodged that bullet, staying a virgin through high school, but I would surely like to see your high school picture to see if that virginity was in any danger.Unless we get REAL about teen’s sexuality, there will be more children having children, among other things. Maybe, instead of calling sexuality this evil thing that must be avoided at all costs, maybe we should be truthful and tell our children how wonderful sex really is, but with that comes responsibility. That pregnancy CAN happen the first time. That you may not be ready for sex physically or emotionally. But most important, if something does happen, you have a loving mom and dad with you to support you and care for you all the way.But for that to happen, we need a seachange on thought of gargantuan proportions. A total elimimation of erotophobia from all segments of our society and life.They’ll find those WMD’s in Iraq before then. Way before.
Mark Cohn
05 · 12 · 06 @ 4:51 am
Mark Morford wrote about this same subject – not until after you did, and not as consisely as you, but it’s a good piece:http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2006/05/12/notes051206.DTL&nl=fix
Your American Julie
05 · 11 · 06 @ 10:22 pm
You’re SOOOOO right!!! The lack of honest discussion on sexual safety is so detrimental. If teens don’t learn sex from their parents and other responsible adults, who are they going to learn it from??? Answer: Their stupid ass inexperienced peers who don’t know shit anyway! I can only speak for myself and girls that I knew, but basically we were all ignorant. A lot of us went even went to church youth groups, where we were our natural needs for human touch and attention were categorized as “lust” and we had to pray more to make it go away. Then of course, in secret, we explored with boys or older men who treated us like shit. We didn’t know what we were doing, what to expect, or most importantly, what to demand. We had no standards, cause no one showed us how to set them. We didn’t know how to protect our bodies or our hearts and minds. We got used, some got pregnant, and a few got abortions. Luckily, I waited till after high school to lose my virginity, but even then, I got knocked up less than 2 years later because I didn’t know how to tell him to wrap it. I’m all for sex ed and celibacy ed. But more than anything, we as adults, parents, mentors, and friends need to be blunt with our experimenting kids, stop sugarcoating the truth, be frank about the realities of sex, and teach them to love themselves enough to value their temples and never close the lines of communication.
William Patrick Haines
05 · 11 · 06 @ 6:27 pm
Abstinence is a unrealistic option. Young people should be informed on sexual safety just like they are informed on driving safety. We need to have warnnigs about STDs and the appropriate measures to take to avoid them, as in European sex educational systems. Condoms need to be discussed realistically. They do work, if used properly. Even Reagan’s surgeon general C Everet Koop advocated condom use.
Rev. Bookburn
05 · 11 · 06 @ 7:22 am
Your blog about abstinence ‘education’ shined like an obvious truth. Sadly, in an age where delusional holy hysteria can dominate (non-role playing/ non-consensually) the culture, we cannot assume that anything is obvious. It genuinely seems as if education, science, and research methodology are being steadily shifted to propaganda spinsters. The fear of sex is as absurd as the Reefer Madness films. Anyone who isn’t thoroughly manipulable by cultists can see through the myths. Since so many people act in contast to the hysteria efforts, it means that the impulse to live more freely prevails and that abstinence crusading is merely a public posturing.If abstinence was so wonderful, why aren’t the people in Congress and in the evangelical pulpits removing their genitals? The people who are the most loudly screaming abstinence, ‘morals,’ family-values, Christian supremacy, and creating a holy theocratic dictatorship have their own dirty secrets. Should the sex-workers who were employed during Hookergate have lectured the Bushies about abstinence? Your editorial was right on the mark. When there was reality-based sex education, people got the information they needed. Now, in the most repressive areas, unplanned pregnacies are at the highest levels. The damage of withholding information due to decisions by moralizing hypocrites is beyond measure. It is time for reality-based sex education, access to legal and safe contraception and abortion, information about safer practices, and an environment in which open discussion is encouraged. We’ve seen the damage that Taliban-clones have caused. Rather than prompting people to live in a state of secrecy and inner-conflict, it’s time to say no to hysteria.Thank you as always for shining a spotlight on the absurdities of the fear-mongers. After I send this comment, I’m going to get in touch with my Lower Power and celebrate National Masturbation Month. Love, Rev. Bookburn, Radio Volta, Philadelphia, Reverendbookburn.com, Radiovolta.org
Carlo in portfino Italy
05 · 11 · 06 @ 6:14 am
These religious crazies are continually on the side of death and disinformation, they are idealogical warriors from the dark ages fighting each other and killing innocents in their path. Their morality is one of no morality, no ethics and if you hear them tell it, they sound like they are on drugs.These are people that hear god talking to them, giving them instructions for the next killing. How many times have we heard them say GOD TOLD ME TO DO THIS. They are a bunch of dangerious robots who have no capability of thinking for themselves. I feel bad for them. I truly hope there is no god, for if there is, they will all be smitten at the gates of heaven by their own god. Fortunetly in Europe we have almost defeated them. Their churches are empty, their words hold very little sway.Hope you are well as you always seem to be.With love,Carlo