Tiger Woods’ Inflamed Joint
Tigergate has gone from being a figurative pain in the neck to a literal one. Yes, Tiger Woods himself has insisted that the spasming neck pain that inspired him to quit the Players Championship has “zero connection” to the SUV crash that tore the veil from his harem of mistresses. But there’s little doubt in this sex therapist’s mind that the “bulging disc” or “inflamed joint” in the beleaguered billionaire’s upper spine is deeply “connected” to his struggles with that other bulge—that inflamed joint a little farther south in his anatomy.
Whatever the nature of his injury, Tiger should know from his mama’s Buddhist tradition—if not from his six weeks at Mississippi’s famed Pine Grove sex addiction clinic—that everything is “connected.” Certainly, everything that happens in your life is connected physically through your own body, as well as mentally and spiritually in your own head. Connecting the head to the rest of the body, it follows that the neck is often the locus of great emotional tension.
But before we get too psycho-sexual, let’s get physical. Tiger’s current neck injury could well be a delayed reaction to the November 29, 2009 crash. During his pre-Masters press conference, Woods told reporters that the “accident” gave him “…a busted-up lip and a pretty sore neck.” It seems that a “pretty sore neck” could easily lead to a very sore neck, should it start straining from the rigors of competitive golf.
Add to the mix the psychological effect of having just been exposed on a mega-scale as a sex maniac/sex addict/lying bastard (take your pick of demonizing labels), and—from insult to injury—you have a recipe for excruciating pain.
On some level, the golf prodigy knows this better than anyone. In the same press conference during which he asserted “zero connection, absolutely zero,” Tiger admitted that his five-month break from golf had left him rusty and more susceptible to injury when he returned to the game.
“One of the reasons why I think this thing flared up is because I wasn’t conditioned to it. I had been away from the game for such a long time and came back and ramped up really quickly in order to try and play the Masters. The body wasn’t quite ready for that.”
Makes sense. Of course, Tiger neglected to acknowledge the reason he took that “long” hiatus: because he’d been caught playing a different set of holes.
More to the point, he was playing according to a different set of rules than those by which he’d led his fans and sponsors—maybe even his wife—to believe he’d been playing.
Whether he goes on to save his damaged marriage or become a spokesmodel for polyamory, let’s hope that Tiger’s six or so weeks at Pine Grove gave him some of the much-needed therapy that will help him to be a better, more aware, less self-centered sexual being. Not that there’s anything wrong with being nonmonogamous, in this sex therapist’s opinion. But all of that cheating and lying was bound to blow up in his face—and neck.
Some of the lessons Tiger may have learned in the sex addict tank could prove painful in more ways than one. Admitting that you are a selfish, careless, untrustworthy, compulsive sexual hypocrite in your free time just might affect your perception of yourself as a winner on the tees. Then getting the news that your wife Elin, the media darling who assaulted you with your own 5-iron, is shopping for several top divorce lawyers to uncover your assets…well, it’s bound to give you whiplash.
Poor Tiger. Well, not so poor. This new, wounded, humbled, humiliated, vulnerable, sexually and financially exposed Tiger is far more interesting (to this sex therapist anyway) than the old, artificial, made-for-endorsements ideal who was never real, in the first place.
The new, more authentic Tiger is a celebrity from whom we can learn something, not just buy something.
It’s understandable that the guy didn’t feel up to connecting the dots of his personal pain at a press conference. Here’s hoping he can at least do it in a therapist’s office. If Pine Grove doesn’t work for him, my offer still stands.
Some folks question the veracity of Tiger’s pain claims, suggesting that he’s faking it to cover up his recent lack-luster performance. But there’s little doubt in this sex therapist’s mind that his pain is as real as his affairs have been. And his personal turmoil is as “connected” to his physical agony as are the vertebrae in his spine.
Here’s hoping Tiger’s neck joint heals fully and quickly. Will he learn how to handle his other joint? Only time—and tabloids—will tell…
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Bromeo
06 · 9 · 10 @ 10:40 am
In this stage of our sexual revolution, we need a high profile spokes person for polyamory. He may not be the better spokes person, but he’ll do for a start. Next week, he should cum outta the closet and tell us all he’s BI.
Michael Donnelly
05 · 22 · 10 @ 6:22 pm
The guy is amazing. Unbelievable that he did so well at the Masters, given all of it. Of course, it also might prove he has been using performance enhancing drugs all along, as has been alleged. We all can see how Swarznegger’s body has been falling apart (leg bone just blew apart while skiing; heart valves replaced, etc.) and he proudly admits using the steroids.
Keep ’em coming (the articles, that is!).
Bartx
05 · 22 · 10 @ 4:15 am
I think you would inflame his joint just like mine!!!!!!!
Tina
05 · 21 · 10 @ 12:18 pm
Dr. Block, I’m one of your new phone therapists, and I wanted to thank you here for the opportunity. I love the job and I’ve really enjoyed the variety of calls! This has been one of the best daring decisions I’ve made and I plan on sticking around.
It seems cuckolding calls are very popular right now… I’ve even directed one guy to your Tiger Woods blogs. That being said, I’ve taken some time between calls to browse around the site, research fetishes, and read some of your writings. I really enjoyed “My Adelphia Story” at Counterpunch. I admire your stand on freedom of speech. And Happy Anniversary to you and yours!
Drew Hunkins
05 · 19 · 10 @ 11:03 am
Thanks for the reply Dr. Block. You nailed it with your observation about the old Victorian attitude, and I agree 100% that gay/lesbian folks certainly don’t need anymore hassles. Being a straight guy it’s difficult for me to relate to the harassment and discriminations they routinely face.
I just think that intellectuals like Robert Jensen (author of the anti-porn book ‘Getting Off’), Gail Dines (author of the anti-porn book ‘Pornland’), and Ariel Levy (author of the anti-porn book ‘Female Chauvinist Pigs’) are off base and making a mountain out of a relatively harmless mole hill. Of course these three pale in comparison to the ridiculous hysterics the religious nutballs of all faiths shower against porn.
I also like very much that you hold John Money in such high esteem; he was definitely an intellectual giant. I read his classic book ‘Lovemaps’ several years ago and posted a customer book review for it on Amazon.com under my real name. If you get time you might want to take a glance.
Take care, stay strong.
MaxArtCore
05 · 19 · 10 @ 7:10 am
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a Tiger by the toe. You are IT Tiger! Slowly, painfully, laughingly, angrily, we learn that the “Ideal is the enemy of the Real” That life is full of contradictions and contradictions are the stars and the light in our lives for they push us to inquire and help us to change. Love you Doc!
Imtiaz Waris
05 · 18 · 10 @ 5:58 pm
There is almost a certain sense of sadness when it comes to Tiger Woods.I mean he screwed up,he has a problem ,an addiction,a sexual addiction,which is ok, as long as you accept it. I believe that growth and progress takes place once you accept and understand whatever that is which ails. That is the first step in being a man and accepting responsibility. Only then does growth take place.
Drew Hunkins
05 · 18 · 10 @ 5:07 pm
Dr. Block, I really enjoy your writing and I’m wondering what your thoughts were on porn, standard XXX straight adult porn. Specifically I’m hoping if you have time you could comment on what to me is a clear contradiction over the outrage shown toward one form as opposed to another; which ultimately calls into question the supposed moral arguments that buttress the outraged moralizers.
Some say porn objectifies women but I don’t necessarily buy that argument, for the simple reason that gay porn also exists. In other words it’s like saying, porn objectifies and degrades women when it’s straight men who get their kicks, but if it’s gay men who watch gay porn then nary a word is said.
If straight men enjoy porn it’s dirty and exploitative. There seemingly is an underlying bias against straight male sexuality going on here, b/c as stated, barely anyone ever mentions the supposed degradation and objectification in the gay porn world; in fact, no one really seems to have a problem with it.
I heard the late Johns Hopkins psychiatrist John Money make this same point about the contradiction and I thought it was an incredibly astute point.
Anyways, keep up the terrific work!
drsuzy
05 · 18 · 10 @ 5:28 pm
Well, Drew, I’m not sure what your question has to do with Tiger’s injury, except that since the golf prodigy has had affairs with at least a couple of porn stars, he probably likes porn. Considering the reports of some of his mistresses, he could easily get a job in that industry–and if that “inflamed joint” doesn’t heal, he might have to ;). Seriously, I agree with you and the late great Dr. John Money that there is a double standard in our society regarding gay and straight porn. It stems, at least partially, from that old Victorian attitude that says: You perverted men can do anything you want to each other, but when you start perpetrating your perversions upon the ladies, well, that’s another kettle of fish. And yes, it’s silly and contradictory, but gays have so much other prejudice to contend with in our society, let’s not sic the anti-porn feminists on them for enjoying their porn. Let’s just stand up for Freedom of Speech for all perversions.
Paul Whalen
05 · 18 · 10 @ 2:06 pm
Tiger’s getting almost what he deserves……The guy is a poster boy for narcissism but more so human rights abuse. His signature golf tournament is sponsored by Chevron, who has admitted to funding death squads in Nigeria.To Wit:
During the late 1990s, Nigerian community organizers were protesting Chevron’s regional business activities, alleging negative environmental and social impact. These organizers sought cessation of Chevron’s conduct, reparations and cleanup.[1] The Bowoto case stems from two incidents in which Chevron was alleged to have hired or provided assistance to Nigerian security forces confronting local citizens. At dispute in the case was Chevron’s role in these incidents and whether this role could be tied to liability for resultant damages.[2][3]
Between May 25–28, 1998, approximately 100 community protesters occupied the Parabe platform, a Chevron Nigeria-owned offshore drilling rig and construction barge located in the Niger delta. Chevron Nigeria was believed to have hired Nigerian government security agents to forcibly remove the protesters and to have provided the agents with Chevron-leased helicopters to transport their troops to and from the barge. The security forces shot four protesters, killing two, and they captured and tortured a fifth.[4] Chevron claimed the protesters were “kidnappers and extortionists who held 175 people hostage for three days while (Chevron Nigeria) vainly tried to negotiate with them.”[5]
On January 4, 1999, Nigerian government security forces launched an assault on the villages of Opia and Ikenyan, military personnel shooting civilians and setting fire to buildings. Chevron was alleged to have provided assistance to the Nigerian military forces in the form of helicopters and sea trucks piloted by Chevron Nigeria employees.[6] Other accounts suggest Chevron hired the security forces and helped plan the attack on the villages in retaliation for the protesters’ activities.[7]
Then there’s the fact that he’s Nike’s lawn Jockey.The guy’s mother,for chrissake,is from Thailand while Southeast Asia is the prime site of Nike’s notorious “sub-contractors”.In other words,if Mom was 30 years youmger than maybe she’d be working 12 hour days with one break.Workers,according to the International Labor Organization,routinely were disclipined with hammers if having the temerity to ask for bathroom breaks.
On a small island in the Phillipines,Hussong,thousands of peasant farmers were displaced,literally thrown off the land where their families farmed and fished for centuries. This was done by well placed Filipino military and business types to construct a resort complete with golf course. Guess who got a huge fee to play the inaugural round ? You guessed it, Eldrick!
Fuck Him-enough bad shit can’t happen to this world class creep!
Alexander Cockburn
05 · 17 · 10 @ 11:08 pm
Very funny Dr S.
John Michael Koroly
05 · 17 · 10 @ 7:22 pm
Did you see how the GOlf Channel reporter mispoke? She actually said “inflamed DICK” in stead of disc!
Kris Saknussemm
05 · 17 · 10 @ 7:17 pm
There’s absolutely no question in my mind that neck pain in particular has often a profound psychological origin. A couple of months ago I suffered the most excruciating pain in my neck, out of the blue–no tramautic injury–no apparent cause. I was involved in a major house move, and an interim stopgap kind of move, while facing a heavy book deadline, while stalled on another project–and facing girlfriend issues. I battled through the move and met the deadline. Pain went away. Any lingering discomfort I notice is is connected with the relationship.
Marcus Jay
05 · 17 · 10 @ 5:13 pm
Hilarious analysis, Dr. Block. And probably the most insightful piece on his injury that I’ve seen on the web. Like your other Tiger pieces too. Keep hitting those balls!