Merry Masturbation Month 2009!
Merry Masturbation Month! T’is the First Day of Masturbation Month 2009. Have YOU celebrated yet? I did, just after the stroke (pun intended) of midnight May 1. I didn’t feel up to partner sex, as I am currently being beaten into submission by some kind of virulent flu. No, it’s not Swine Flu, though my nose is so stuffed it might as well be the snout of a pig. Anyway, a little quickie jilling-off did just the trick, even decongesting me for a few delightfully mucous-free moments before and after orgasm, and then dropping me down into a much needed good night’s sleep. This is just one of the many marvelous benefits of that much-maligned pastime of sex for one. I could go on and on, but I really should stop bloggamizing and go back to bed to wank and sleep some more. Besides, I’ve already bloggamized countless times about Masturbation Month. Here are a few favorites:
For inspiration, watch our Jack ‘n Jill-Off Jam, a three-ring circus of wanking and spanking, flirting and squirting, a celebration of masturbation in a cavalcade of permutations, featuring spontaneous sex acts, solo sex madness, wandering minstrels playing mellifluous haunting music, and eloquent masked nude theater.
If you’d prefer a quickie, try something in Clip-O-Rama like Daisy Layne Rides the Monkey Rocker or get your own Monkey Rocker – at $150 off for the month of May! If that still doesn’t fit your Recession Era budget, try a Hitachi Magic Wand (my personal fave) or a Pocket Rocket at half-off, or let your fingers do the walking while your imagination does the talking for a completely cost-free climax.
If cost isn’t an issue, and you’d like a little personalized guidance, try Guided Masturbation with one of the helpful telephone sex therapists at the Institute. We’ll fill in the blanks in your imagination and give you some Wanking Tips you might never dream up on your own.
I’m pleased to note that The LA Weekly has acknowledged the importance of Masturbation Month. So why shouldn’t you?
Give Yourself A Hand!