Nice Nips, Ladies! With Shayna Knight and Luccia on the Love Rocker . Photo: Alex Filangieri

My glittering night stars include the extraordinary Geyser of Desire Annie Body (also featured in Dr. Suzy’s Squirt Salon) female-ejaculating like Old Faithful from her tropical rainforest red hairy bush (now that’s the kind of BUSH we like!), frisky fraulein dick-swallower Shayna Night (also in Squirt Crazy with Axel Braun), Brazilian bonobo bombshell Luccia, sultry Orgasmical (also featured in Blonde Island), reps from the Hollywood Erotic Museum, cute ‘n’ kinky rockers Indy 500 singing “Lick” as the ladies do the hoka-hoka, plus about a dozen colorful, horny, horn-honking members of the Porn Klown Posse (featuring Shmutz, Danger, freekBALL & more) and the fabulous magical artist Mario Saucedo romping into my arms with a tribe of masked bonobo “ambassadors,” going bananas and creating a surreal sexual Planet of the Apes right in my Bed. It’s a Commedia Erotica ZOO–which is appropriate since I had just shared an incredible intimate experience with a beautiful real bonobo mama named Lana at the San Diego Zoo. Speaking of the real bonobos, Bushmeat Project director Dr. Tony Rose also joins us by phone, sharing the “sexergy.” but reminding us all that the real bonobos are extremely endangered in their native habitat of the Congo, and we must all do what we can to help save them from extinction.

Then, into this Jungle of Progressive Politics and Great Ape Sex, step two Anti-Porn Christian missionaries! Seriously, Mike and Craig of the XXX Church act scared shitless that Annie will baptize them with her Holy Water or maybe one of the Klowns will jump their bones and rock their world. Nevertheless, they enter my Broadcast Bed which is, at this point, drenched in female ejaculate, determined to promote their website and not appear too chickenshit in front of the New York Times reporter. But alas, the Church Boys can’t take the heat very long and don’t have much to say anyway. Brother Dave goes a little crazy on them and called them Nazis. When I ask them how they respond to the fact that porn has never fomented any wars, while Christianity and other religions have murdered millions in Crusades, Holy Wars and Inquisitions over the centuries, they reply, “Porn is our issue.” When I ask them what they think of a Christian married couple watching porn as an aphrodisiac, they say, “They don’t need it.” They can’t see the goodness of pleasure. Poor boys lost in their own hyper-earnest hypocrisy. Pastor Tammy of the Full Gospel Ranch with her cute “Jesus Loves My Ass!” panties is more our kind of missionary here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute of Faith-Based Sex.

Annie goes Dildonic for Shayna as Shmutz the Klown referees . Photo: Alex Filangieri

Inspired by all the impassioned Christian zeal, Luccia screws herself with my Jesus Jackhammer dildo. Hallelujah, Praise the Lord, Jesus is in her now! Then Annie and Shayna play on the Love Rocker and squirt some more, Mario goes ape, I go bananas, and everybody hoka-hokas like the bonobos to INDY 500. Hot Squirting Sex, Porn Klowns, Art Apes, the Church, and a message of Peace through Erotic Pleasure brought to us by the Bonobos, all of it filmed for a documentary on how animals inspire us by Mona-Lisa Productions, our friends from France.

So…Liberate your Inner Bonobo! Feel the sexergy. Give Peace through Pleasure a Chance… And check out Alex’s hot pics of this incredible evening BACKSTAGE.