The Squirt Instructor Strikes Holy Water @ The Institute
Lay down your arms, pull down your panties and shoot the water cannon between your legs! Squirt bombs produce “Shock & Awe” with zero casualties. This is just one reason why I’ve been a female ejaculation buff for over a decade of good times and soaking wet sheets.
So when the new “Squirt Instructor” in town tweeted @DrSuzy to say that he wanted to be on the show, I just couldn’t say no. He introduced himself as Marcus London, and he had the sexy Bri-ish accent to match, but it wasn’t his tongue I was interested in. After all, it’s his fingers that do the walking, and the rubbing of the G-spot that makes the rains come.
Specifically, it’s the pumping power in the ring and middle fingers of Mr. London’s right hand, which are also the digits of choice for an earlier Shaman of Squirt, Axel “The G-Man” Braun. Attended by his proud papa Lasse Braun, Axel’s compelling fingers coaxed forth my first squirting orgasm on New Year’s Eve, 2000. You could say that the Braun Boys uncorked my personal bottle of bubbly for the new millennium. What a sexual revelation! I’d been baptized in my own amrita.
But it was Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot author Deborah Sundahl who taught me how to squirt on my own. I still consider Deborah, featured in my original Squirt Salon, to be the finest, most focused teacher in all things G-spot, including the art and science of female ejaculation.
Though I must say, Professor London is quite handy. I invited him over to the Speakeasy at the Institute to do a show, which I unimaginatively dubbed Squirt Salon 2, so that I might put his claims to the test. First up on the squirt-friendly, easy-to-clean Luv Mat was the lovely Zoey Holloway. We first met Zoey when she joined Dane Cross in a hot screaming threesome right after our Passover Seder (!) with Annie Cruz (whom you can see squirting like a human hurricane in Double-Annie Squirting Anniversary).
Zoey confessed that she and Marcus had already gotten the party flowing the night before but, with our Squirt Instructor’s nimble fingers and substantial muscle, Zoey was soon squirting up a small tropical storm for the Speakeasy crowd, while somehow managing to maintain her characteristic grace and elegance. This was quite a feat, as female ejaculation, while one of the great sexual wonders of the world, is notoriously undignified. The most common position is sitting back, legs spread wide, spewing fluid everywhere. This fluid, while not *just pee* (you might say squirting is the golden shower‘s cousin, the sensual silver shower), is still pretty messy. But Zoey’s patrician features look downright beatific, even while gushing like a busted dyke, completely drenching the Luv Mat.
Next up was Marcus’ sweet, sexy wife Devon Lee, who I thought would be a sure thing. But what do I know? Try as he might, using all his husbandly wiles and fingerbanging techniques, the Squirt Instructor could not coax the waters from his wife. I wasn’t about to analyze their marriage in the middle of a Squirt Salon, though I couldn’t help but notice that this put Marcus at just one for two—not the most brilliant record—so far.
Then he hit it out of the ballpark with Deauxma. If you look at the evening as a “Squirt-Off” competition, the winner—fingers down (and up!)—is definitely this lusty Texas MiLF. Everything’s bigger in Texas, and Deauxma’s XXXtra-long legs and larger-than-life-size boobs are prime Lone Star State fare.
She also squirted more than anyone else in the room, filling up a bowl and a couple of crystal flutes with her Champagne Deauxma, which we passed around the Speakeasy for audience members to sniff and sip. The consensus was that it was pretty odorless and tasteless but with a slightly thicker consistency than water. Of course, most of Deauxma’s champagne didn’t even get close to the bowl, but instead sprayed all the over the show bed, soaking all the other guests and camera people. It’s holy water, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners! You may never want to wash that wet T-shirt.
We have our friend Imtiaz to thank for hooking us up with the great Deauxma (and her cool hubby Larry). Though always a gentleman to a fault and a fairly devout Muslim, Imtiaz has an eye for the hottest ladies on Twitter. I’m sure he didn’t know Deauxma was a squirter; even now that he does know, he’s one of the few who are not asking to see Deauxma’s Squirting Stream or Download. Well, female ejaculation is not everybody’s cup of holy water.
Speaking of religion, next to impale herself on Marcus’ hard-working fingers was the vivacious Mia Culpa, whose chosen name betrays her Catholic-schoolgirl guilt, even though she is quite shameless (in a good way). As enthusiastic about her sexuality as an equestrian is about a thoroughbred, Mia had just celebrated her 23rd birthday and her entry into the wonderful, whacky world of porn on 9/11 MILFs, Man-Eaters & Bisexual Marines.
A squirting virgin, Mia proved to be a tough subject for the Squirt Instructor, but, with a little elbow grease and a lick of Agwa salt off my vulva (I try to help out where needed), the magic erupted and Mia sprung a small but thrilling leak.
With just a few more minutes of live broadcast left, I canvassed the audience for one more volunteer to test the Marcus Method, but everyone was either on their period or tied up in Disney contracts. So, there was nothing to do but make the show climax with my own squirting climax. I shivered for a moment as I opened up the gams, pulled my Squirt for Peace G-string aside and lay back, cameras flashing as my hat rather ungracefully fell off my head. The Squirt Instructor’s fingers entered me sensuously, doing their little rain dance on my G-spot—already stimulated by Mia’s ministrations. My eyes closed, and I relaxed into release; then suddenly, voices were squealing, “You’re squirting!” and everything went wet. A delightful sense of liberation mixed with exhilaration, heightened by exhibitionism streamed through me. Holy water, indeed.
The show flowed into the after-party like a riverboat cruise, and we de-virginized one more squirting virgin along the way: Our Lady of Latex, RubberNecro (with Misti Dawn and Michael Vegas offering moral support) gushed like a little fountain within moments of the Squirt Instructor inserting his wedding ring and F-U fingers. That means Marcus got five out of six of our Squirt Salon 2 ladies spraying like broken fire hydrants…or at least water pistols. In a way, the fact that he couldn’t get his wife to squirt just makes his success with all the rest of us seem more real, impressive, and just a little bit eerie.
Is Squirting An Orgasm?
Well, yes and no. Just like men, women can have orgasms with or without ejaculation, and we can experience ejaculation with or without orgasm. While ejaculation is an objective occurrence—either you squirt or you don’t—an orgasm is a somewhat subjective feeling, with a lot of grey area. Both squirting and “regular” orgasms involve an intense build-up of pressure and a pleasurable release of that pressure. But squirting is more of an external discharge than an internal explosion.
But enough splitting of pubic hairs! It’s all good clean messy fun.
Girls Gone Wet
Squirting has come a long way since I first heard about it in 1992, first experienced it in 2000, was first blown away by Annie Body—still the most prolific squirter I’ve ever seen—in 2002, and hosted my first Squirt Salon in 2004.
It’s not such an oddity anymore. There are downloads of female ejaculation everywhere, both real and fake. There are some educational videos (though none as comprehensive as our original Squirt Salon) and numerous books and articles. Even that notorious G-Spot Doubting Thomasina, Dr. Andrea Virginia Burri, has admitted that, “the methods used…” in her G-spot-negative research, “…may not have been appropriate.”
Now that so many women have found their G-spots, they are soaking the sheets—and the cameras—everywhere. In Ryan Simkin’s new book, Flash, about his wild ride with my old colleague-in-titillation Joe Francis (with whom I shared a panel on “Sex and the Media” and a dinner at Mory’s during Sex Week at Yale 2004), the final chapter tells us that they’re now squirting in Girls Gone Wild. When Girls Gone Wild does something, we know it’s not that wild anymore. Aphrodite’s stream has gone mainstream. Female ejaculation is not so freaky anymore.
It is, however, still a fantastic experience. And it’s still pretty awe-inspiring to see this liquid projectile of a woman’s pleasure spurting forth from her tumescent genitalia, just like a man’s, but so different.
Watch the First Amazing Squirting Download from Squirt Salon II: Champagne Deauxma
Join the Bloggamy and see all the fantastic XXX-hardcore artcore female ejaculation photos from Squirt Salon 2 as well as Squirt Salon 1 and other shows
Watch the Best Instructional Video on Female Ejaculation ever made: Dr. Suzy’s Original Squirt Salon featuring International FE Expert Deborah Sundahl, the amazing Geyser of Desire Annie Body, the Missionary of Squirt Leila Swan and the aptly named Big D
See Annie Cruz and Annie Body in Double-Annie Squirting Anniversary
Get ready for a wet holiday season with Dommes and Hollie: Squirts and Showers
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Hot Wet DEAL: Our Triple Squirt Special
Get Your Squirt for Peace G-String
Read Squirting World: Secrets, Stories & Techniques of Female Ejaculation
Want to talk about Female Ejaculation or any aspect of sex? Call The Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213.670.0066
The Free Public Photo Gallery below contains a sampling of 69 PG-rated images from “Squirt Salon II” (Photos by JuxLii, Vladimir, Mike C, Anthony Randall, Alex Filangieri, MMB, Lisa, Nori, Mars FX and Grace). To see the Private Photo Galleries with 1000s of exclusive XXX-hardcore artcore pix, join the Bloggamy.