Length 1:43:33 Date: June 14, 2014
June keeps “busting out all over” Bonoboville with sunshine, full-moonshine and summer-hot bare boobs. This body-mind-and-soul-stimulating, system-questioning, half-naked, 80% raw, 10% spam (both kinds), totally fun and funny show includes a variety of Weapons of Mass Discussion, from how to have sustainable sex on the beach without getting too much sand in your crotch to the penile benefits of maca versus Cialis to America’s crippling, multi-billion dollar Koch habit.
In-studio Commedia Erotica range from Bonoboville Communion with barbell-pierced nipples to forced green-smoothie guzzling to a good, fairly hard ass-whupping with a Juxleather slapper that looks and sounds a lot like somebody’s abusive dad’s folded over leather belt. What a way to kick off/spank off Father’s Day.
Our special guest is “Raw Vegan Slave Goddess” Cici Cummins (her real name!), introduced to us by our dear friend and fellow Counterpunch writer, Oregon conservationist Michael Donnelly, so we know Ms. Cummins “cums” from good eco-politics and hot spring hedonism.
Cici strolls into RadioSUZY1 studios like she’s just come off the beach at Baja (where she owns a juice bar), wearing nothing but a teeny-weeny bikini and pretty soon, she loses more than half of that. June is (indeed) busting out all over! Then she spreads a bunch of bottles filled with her favorite Purium health products on the stripper pole table and, utilizing her proliferating Weapons of Mass Seduction to the fullest, persuades me to taste the “10 Day Transformational Cleanse.” I only try it for 10 seconds, not 10 days, but it’s actually not bad. Though it looks like a money shot from Swamp Thing (that’s what you get with “no artificial coloring”), it tastes kind of like oatmeal with berries. Capt’n Max mixes his with vodka. Greentini, Green Russian or Green Martian, it’s eco-alcoholism FTW!
Since I try her drink, it seems only fair and bonoboësque that Cici reciprocate and partake in our “Bonoboville Communion” imbibing ritual. Raised Quaker, where communion is practiced via silent reflection, Cici appreciates the spiritual aspects of communion in Bonoboville, but she also goes for the gusto with Dirty Tequila, salty tits and hot lips. Then, good former “alpha slave” that she is, she presents her sun-kissed, beach booty for that ass-whupping. I channel my inner Daddy/Dom as best I can and turn that tanned hide red as a summer sunset.
In the midst of all this intoxicating organica, our favorite Elvis impersonator, Smokey Binion, Jr., calls in live from Texas to serenade us under the June “Honey Moon” with a rousing a cappella rendition of “Jailhouse Rock.” Then my old KIEV-AM radio producer, John Clark, slides in between Capt’n Max and topless Cici, explaining he’s been drinking Pimm’s Cups while watching the World Cup. Though Mother England lost, John didn’t riot, but he does sing his very personal version of the Father’s Day Blues.
After a final plea to “make like bonobos, not Koch Brother baboons,” and help us help save the real bonobos from extinction, we send Cici on her way to join the Mile High Club with a Pocket Rocket (Drop Pocket Rockets, Not Patriot Missiles!) from Doc Johnson, plus organic lube and condoms from Condomania.
In between everything else, we shout-out to some of the good folks at Lola ya Bonobo and BCI, as well as Stefanie Iris Weiss, author of the very informative, sustainable and readable Eco-Sex (check it out if you’re serious about making your love life more organic and earth-friendly). Kudos also to my old friend Robert Greenwald and Brave New Films (you may recall we aired their excellent Walmart exposé at the Speakeasy a few years ago) for their new documentary The Koch Brothers Exposed: 2014 Edition, to our friend Chris Gagliardi for his anti-bullying efforts and, last but by no means least, Nice Buy Appliances. If you’re in Southern California and you need a reliable, affordable refrigerator, washer, drier or any appliance besides a vibrator, see the nice guys at Nice Buy. And join Bonoboville. We’re still in beta, but we’re busting out!