Hard Time with Max Hardcore
Length: 98:36 minutes Date: 01/14/2012
Max Hardcore films may gross out some people—including me (deep throat to the point of puking just doesn’t push my love buttons). But should he have been imprisoned for obscenity? A resounding “NO!” is the consensus among distinguished lawyers, pornographers, psychologists, kinkologists and other concerned citizens who gather together in my Womb Room for this rollicking show welcoming “Freedom of Speech POW” Max Hardcore back to freedom after his recent release from La Tuna Federal Prison where he served almost three years on obscenity charges. In keeping with my feature guest’s name and notorious style, this show is HARDCORE in terms of political conversation, jurisprudence and eXXXtreme action, including full-on fisting, Commedia Erotica ageplay roleplay, acrobatic deep-throating and warbling almost the entire Star-Spangled Banner through a ball-gag. Hey, it’s all in good, consensual, push-your-limits fun, some of it’s even erotic and nobody puked on my show bed.
Max Hardcore: First-timer on RadioSuzy1 but an old-timer in porn, for the sake of which he just served about 30 months of a 46-month sentence (getting early release for alcohol program participation), Max gets a hero’s welcome here at the Speakeasy where we know that Freedom of Speech ain’t always so easy, though it is enshrined in the First Amendment of the Constitution (our own copy of which, appropriately enough, has a crack in the glass). Though his birth name is Paul Little, Max Hardcore made it big in porn by taking hardcore to the max, incorporating “extreme” sex like fisting, intense anal, and vomit-inducing deep throat (aka “rainbow showers”), generally performed with actresses portraying under-aged, victimized girls, often in seemingly abusive scenes. Max says he’s never gotten a complaint from any of his performers who seem to revel in playing the naive victim for the camera. Our old friend Annie Body raved about what a nice guy he was. But beware: Max Hardcore content is not for everyone, particularly the Post Office inspector in Tampa, FL who ordered his videos, busted and prosecuted him and took custody of his website. Max spends most of the show describing the whole unconstitutional bust and trial, doing “hard time” in a Texas prison and “taking one for the team” of the porn industry. He also acknowledges that one his heroes has long been “my” Max (Artcore/Lobkowicz), pioneering publisher of such seminal, reader-written magazines as the LA Star, Love, God and Finger, who also served time for “conspiracy to distribute obscene material” in contradiction to our First Amendment rights. Then Mr. Hardcore gives the Speakeasy a taste of just how hardcore he is by pulling his infamous dick out of his pants and mouth-fucking Layla Rivera in a backbended position that would challenge an Olympic gymnast. While it might look like facial abuse to some, Layla was clearly loving it. Warning: Do not try Max Hardcore stunts on most women who are not likely to be as flexible—physically and emotionally—as the pretzel-like Miss Rivera.
Layla Rivera: Max Hardcore’s Number One Girl fits right into the Womb Room, randomly removing her top and climbing the stripper pole without even being asked, adding a little visual aid to our already stimulating conversation. She takes pride in the fact that she doesn’t “think too much,” sings most of the Star-Spangled Banner while wearing an Adult Play Parlor ball gag, and offers some deep throat tips via my new banana-shaped Oui dildo, and by “tip,” I mean the opposite of “just the tip,” and more like “the whole damn thing.” Then she donates her jailbait panties to the Panty Boy Collection, gives herself a quick gynecological exam, and instructs Bonnie on how to fist her properly (helpful hint: once you’ve got your hand inside the vagina, don’t go in and out, just let it stay still and feel the throb). As a grand finale, Layla twists herself into a backbend and upside-down deep-throats Max Hardcore in his cowboy hat with his dick even farther down her throat than my banana. Yeehaw! Again, don’t try this with your lover unless he or she is a very open-minded, open-larynxed acrobat—like Layla.
Bonnie Rotten: Introduced on The Dr. Susan Block Show last Saturday by our good friend Corpsy, “barely legal” bad girl Bonnie from Ohio likes LA—and the Institute—so much, she’s still here! In fact, she’s about to do a photo spread for Hustler Magazine—despite having more tattoos than a love nest of Suicide Girls covering her model-sleek body. And RadioSuzy1 producer Tasia is going to write her story! Bonnie starts the show dressed as Pocahantas, ready for a game of hardcore cowboys-n-indians, then changes into ruffled thigh highs, pigtails and an itsy-bitsy, plaid, pleated, schoolgirl skirt, thereby taking it to the Max…Hardcore. Her intended victim responds like a Pavlovian animal and, well, looks like our Bonnie may soon add Max Hardcore Girl as well as Hustler Honey–and, of course, Institute Webcam Sex Therapist—to her CV. Like a good bonobo girl, Bonnie recognizes the Hardcore Harem pecking order and gives Layla a very warm welcome, a bonobo handshake that turns into deep sensuous fisting (please DON’T watch this in Florida!), one of the high points and deepest moments of this show.
Reverend Bookburn calls in to confess his appreciation for Max Hardcore’s extreme porno style as well as his freedom-fighting.
Weapons of Mass Discussion: The Edge of XXX Adult Entertainment & Long Grabby Arms of the Law, Bill of Rights, Artistic and Pornographic Freedom to be a Little Disgusting, Definition of Obscenity, Hot S&M Fairy Tales, Warm Feeling of Freedom, Freedom Is The Greatest Aphrodisiac, Restraint Is A Close Second, Nonconsensual Restraint Is Not Fun, Mother of Birth Control Margaret Sanger Got Busted by Postal Inspectors Just Like Max Hardcore, Blue Balls Pennsylvania, Shooting Amateur Videos, Fisting, Golden Showers & Other “Extreme Porn” in Europe, Texas Good Ole Boy Character, Hiring Young-Looking Actresses Over 18 to Portray Naive & Reluctant Little Girls, Rainbow Showers, Rape Fantasies, Extreme Expressions of a Normal Act, Getting Busted for Stump-Fucking, Being Judged Brazen, Being Judged Depraved, Choking, Busted in Barcelona, FBI Agent Shooting a Hole in the Floor, Videos Ordered out of Conservative Tampa Florida, Transcribing Videos Include Talking with Penis Gagging Mouth, Transcribing Female Number Two Licking Female Number One’s Anus, Five Fingers is Illegal, Four Fingers is Impractical, Golden Shower Yellow Couch, Taking the Bullet in the Floor for the Porn Team, Religious People & Feminists Unite Against Porn, Prison Sex, Prison Fights, Pornography as a Liberator of Women, Breasts on the Front Page of the LA Star, Summer Love Testimony, Extreme Porn Star Sasha Grey Wanting Max Hardcore in Prison, Constitution Serves to Protect the Speech of the Questioned Minority More so than the Accepted Majority, Drinking Pee, Porn Piss is Better than U.S. Soldiers Pissing on Afghan Corpses, Playing with Snake Eve is Not Bestiality, Many of My Telephone Sex Therapy Clients Have Fantasies Darker Than Max Hardcore Movies, Puke is Lube, Bonobo Hands Up their Own Asses, Kiddy Gay Bonobo Sex, Strippers Made of Glitter, Internet Makes Crazy Things Public, Rooms Covered in Squirt, Making License Plates in Prison, The Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure
Performance Erotica: Riding the Airwaves with a Free Speech P.O.W. Porno Cowboy, Revealing Beautiful Knockers, Pole Dancing, Slingshot Mini-Skirt, Lawyers in the Womb Room, Little Girl Socklets with Big Girl High Heels, Losing the Tiny Little Hardcore Skirt & Bra, Spinning then Straddle-Dropping Down the Poles, Stripper-Heel Clicking, Yalies in the House, Bubble-Blowing Babes, Snake Domination, Choosing the Ball Gag Over Any Other Toy, Transcribing the Garbled Ball-Gag Talk: “Mmmhmmrh Fank Vhhroo MmmrrryMMMch,” Dita Von Tease Fancy Seamed Stockings from Secrets in Lace, Gagging Out the Star Bangled Banner, Girls in Pink, Nice Assets in Kiddie Clothing, Oui Banana Dildo Gift from Pleasure Chest, Using the Banana Dildo as a Mic or Phone, Dangerous Gigantic Shears, Taking the Whole Banana Dildo in the Mouth, Cracked Bill of Rights, Banana Warming Cold Nipples, Asses Lined Up on Bed, Hitachi Play, Double Vibrator and Pussy Action, Four-Finger Fisting, Full-On Fisting, A Lot of In-n-Out (& I Don’t Mean Burgers), Doggy-Style Fisting, Feeding Her the Whole Fist, Modeling Nothing But a Belt & Ball Gag, Rocking Out with Your Cock Out, Upside-Down Backbending Deep-Throating, Face-Fucking, Multi-Party Pussy Play while Performing Acrobatic Fellatio, Erotic Hula Hoop-notherapy, Topless Girls in Pigtails Dangling from the Trapeze & Dancing on the Bar, Wild Rickshaw Rides Around the Speakeasy, After-Party Semi-Private Sex Acts
Editorial Assistance by Justine Middleton.