Masturbation Month Therapy
Length 1:29:42 Date: May 09, 2015
by Dr. Susan Block
Its mid-Masturbation Month, and we celebrate the self-pleasure season with this intimate live broadcast featuring two of the Dr. Susan Block Institute’s top therapists, AVN Hall of Famer and celebrity sex therapist Karen Summer, and our beloved Chelsea Raw—in the raw!—on location in Baja, Mexico. Also joining us in-studio from the bar are Capt’n Max and Bonoboville’s “Best Actor”-award-winning ex-Satmar-Hasid-in-Residence, Luzer Twersky, looking dapper in one of his signature Duncan Quinn bespoke suits.
First we set the score straight on masturbation, a.k.a., wanking, spanking the monkey, polishing the pearl, walking the dog, sexual solitaire, jacking and/or jilling off. Whatever you call it and whichever way you do it, masturbation has been denigrated as self-abuse, self-pollution. Around Bonoboville, we call it what it is: self-pleasure, self-love or, as Doonesbury dubs it, self-dating. Why? Because it feels good. And it is good. But what is it good for? As many different things as there are different masturbators. On this show, we explore eight of those things, complete with flashcards, and for exactly what the crazy eight are, well, listen to this show (above) or watch it on DrSuzy.Tv.
You’ll also learn about the art of guided masturbation, our favorite forms of masturbation (Karen and Chelsea both love water play—not to be confused with “water sports”), as well as how and why the “great” religions of the world vilify masturbation, shaming us, even though we all do it. One of the great religious symbols of evil is the Snake in the Garden of Eden, represented by my beautiful Snake Eve. Though Karen says she is deathly afraid of snakes, at my urging, she plays gingerly with Eve. Watch this, guys, and see how to get a nervous woman to play with your snake…
More Weapons of Mass Discussion: Why Taboo Mommy fantasies circulate around Mother’s Day; why some young men love MILFs; why Gilad Atzmon can’t talk about clitorises; the vicious reaction to Abby Martin regarding the American Sniper; #JewsandArabsRefusetobeEnemies stories of Luzer’s, Karen’s and my erotic adventures with Muslims (from the phone to the Garden of Gethsemane); Luzer’s harrowing anti-masturbation upbringing; Dr. SerenaGaia’s Ecosexuality collection coming soon; the various wrongs of circumcision (male and female); selfies = photo-masturbation (kudos to Imanne for the world’s best selfies, soon to be a book); nude Chelsea on the beach; Karen’s new foot fetish project (Rhedd Soles) and her great review of The Bonobo Way.
Now for the action: Though not a bio-Mom, Karen’s beautiful big-mama DDs, a.k.a., “the Girls,” come out for a Mother’s Day Bonoboville Communion with Dirty Tequila. Feeling spiritual as I sprinkle salt on Karen’s freed nipples, I find myself reciting a blessing: Baruch atah Adonai Elohenu Melech ha’olam, borai p’ree ha Titties…. Then it’s time for a three-way mid-Masturbation Month climax with Karen on her Bullet Buddy, me on Hitachi and Chelsea strumming her yoni by the sea. ¡Olé!
Have a very merry Masturbation Month! And remember, if you need a hand—a friendly, supportive, knowledgeable, sex-educational guide into your self-pleasure exploration—Karen, Chelsea and the other sex therapists of the Block Institute are just a phone call away.
© May 10, 2015. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.