Expedition Gone Wild
Length: 102:36 minutes Date: 08/04/2012
For this special expedition into our erotic wild side, Tasia transforms my Womb Room into a fantasy jungle filled with ferocious stuffed animals, a gentle live snake, some trouser snakes, NatGeo’s famous Expedition Wild “animal whisperer,” porn stars gone wild, naked ladies, pretty pussies, horny dogs, cuddly bears, expeditionists, exhibitionists, lovers and friends, all of us (as I often say) “Children of Sex.” Indeed, we’re all Children of Animal Sex (humans being animals), having evolved from other animals and being related to all the creeping, leaping, flying, sprinting, swimming critters of the world. Listen free and learn to free your inner animal, your erotic wild side that is usually repressed by society’s attempts to “civilize” our prehistoric sexual nature (see Sex at Dawn). Not that I’m recommending that anybody toss out their wedding rings, iPads, insulin or ethics (although some animals—especially bonobos–can be rather ethical). But I think it helps to recognize our animal nature and, under certain special circumstances—like when you’re with someone you love and trust or when you’re in BonoboVille—it’s erotically healthy to release the sexy beast within.
I almost called this show Expedition Love since love for animals and each other is a running theme, as well as the last name of one of our guests, and in the midst of all the sex partying and Sybian-riding, the seed of real romance appears to have been planted. I won’t name names yet, as these are very special seeds indeed, and the little love bud that seems to have sprouted needs private attention before being exposed to the often harsh light of society.
Speaking of special kinds of love, this show is dedicated to the memory of one of my longterm inspirations in life, literature, politics and sex: Gore Vidal. “I never miss an opportunity to have sex or appear on television,” the late great political exhibitionist sayeth, to which I reply Amen and Awomen. Sex and television are super fun, as long as you don’t take either too seriously.
Vidal is also famous for proclaiming that “There is no such thing as a homosexual or a heterosexual person. There are only homo- or heterosexual acts. Most people are a mixture of impulses if not practices.” Many non-human animals are too. Both female and male bonobos are notoriously bisexual, and gay and bisexual activity has been documented among lions, giraffes, African elephants and American bison, to name a few. Male grey whales have been observed engaging in “penis fencing,” like male bonobos—not to mention some guys—do. Male Amazon river dolphins engage in anal, genital and blowhole penetration, giving a whole new meaning to the term “blowjob.” There’s a rainbow of sexual diversity in the wild, as there is in any human neighborhood.
So many of my sex therapy clients need to relax and enjoy sex, or “get up” the courage to pursue sexual opportunities, without “over-thinking.” It’s funny how often the answer lies in releasing the wild animal within from the cage of our neuroses.
Casey Anderson: World-renowned host and executive producer of National Geographic’s acclaimed series, Expedition Wild and Expedition Grizzly (the co-star of which is an 800 pound bear named Brutus, who unfortunately couldn’t make it to the Speakeasy tonight), enters my Womb Room with the open spirit of an explorer. When I ask him the secret to handling animals—human or other species—he says it’s all about giving them love. His humble, close-to-the-wild Montana beginnings help him keep in touch with his natural, primal self despite his fame. Casey’s mom ran a homeless shelter, and now he provides a “home” to homeless grizzlies and other wildlife, and has the scars to prove his encounters with some of his less grateful clients (he shows us his scars, as the ladies go “ooh” and “ahh”). We talk about some of the amazing sex scenes he’s witnessed in the wild, including bear masturbation, exhibitionism and voyeurism. However, he declares, with a true wild expeditionist’s sense of discovery, that nothing quite compares—in wildness and sheer fun—to the scene he discovers here.
Aaliyah Love: This former preschool teacher turned webcam girl/porn star looks more like a sweet, domesticated, Disney cartoon kitty than a fierce inhabitant of any jungle. But adorable Aaliyah soon shows us her inner wild animal when she sheds her panties and everything else—revealing her gorgeous, all-natural, practically tattoo-less, petite physique—and rides the Sybian (with a rotating dildonic attachment!) into a rainforest-shaking orgasm, climaxing our wild expedition.
Kim Kandy: Kim is new to porn, and we are her first TV/radio appearance ever! She’s also a Sybian virgin, but her maiden ride gets her laughing more than moaning. She proves her porn starlet credentials by freeing the trouser snake of our happy engineer and gives him a bodacious blowjob .
Andreas Beasley: Our dashing RadioSUZY1 engineer volunteers himself to try out the Tenga Male Masturbator Egg designed by artist Keith Haring. He is rewarded for his courage and panache with some mighty fine fellatio from the talented Kim Kandy, and you’ll have to watch the show to see how the Tenga test goes.
Jackie: A vivacious hairdresser with a mean braided Mohawk, Jackie comes to the Dr. Susan Block Show to support her friend Kim. Gal pals since middle school, Kim and Jackie have never touched each other sexually, despite—or because of—their close friendship. So their evening at the Speakeasy turns into a breakthrough as they wind up doing Agwa shots off each others’ nipples. It’s the Bonobo Way!
Kitty Twinkle Toes: At this point, we’re going to stop counting Kitty’s appearances on our show and just call her a regular. Once again, this former Joffrey Ballet dancer wows the Womb Room with her striking catlike appearance, her toe-shoe turns around the stripper pole and her baptismal squirts all over the Sybian. But this time limber Aaliyah catches a taste of Sister Kitty’s Holy Water on her cute kittenish tongue!
Eve: My pet akeeta corn snake since 2002, Eve has been an unofficial guest on the show numerous times, but tonight she reigns supreme as Queen of the Jungle, helping to spread our message of animal love by winding her sensuous body around the arms, necks and boobs of all of my guests from the Animal Whisperer to the Love Goddess to the girl who used to be afraid of snakes until my Evie showed her some love.
Callers: A couple of listeners ask: How much is too much masturbation? Our guests advise that masturbation is the most natural activity in the world. Animals do it almost as much as we do. So go ahead and do it! Enjoy it. Its good healthy safe sex. But you can have too much of any good thing, and masturbation is no exception. So if it starts to hurt, give it a rest. If it keeps hurting, see a doctor.
Weapons of Mass Discussion: Love, We Are All Children of Animal Sex, Wild Things & Domesticated Pets, Nasty Wolves & Sweet Little Deer, Handle All Animals with Love, Disneyland Animals, Recent Riots in Anaheim Near Disneyland, Earl Miller’s Animal Sanctuary, Grizzly Bear Masturbation, Keith Haring, Sex Toys in Art Museums, Bonobo Sexual Sisterhood, Bears Having Sex While Other Bears Watch, The Recent Anaheim Riot, Police Brutality, Humans Aren’t The Only Animals To Engage In Oral Sex & Other Forms of Recreational Sex, Sex at Dawn, The Bonobo Way, Too Short, R.I.P. Gore Vidal
Performance Erotica: Snake Charming, Snake Handling, Modeling Animal Outfits, Taking the Jumper Off & Putting It Back On & Taking It Off Again, Pink Thong Panties with Hearts for the Panty Boy Collection, Striptease, Showing Off Scars, Agwa Nipple Shots, Absinthe Time, Sybian Rides, Squirting, Loud Screaming Orgasms, Pole-Dancing, Pole-Dance Ballet, Tenga Male Masturbator, Fellatio, Naked Trapeze, Doing It Like They Do It On The Discovery Channel…