Another Bacchanalian Birthday in the Womb Room
Length: 91:47 minutes Date: 06/11/2011
Sexy professors and clever porn stars, eloquent poets and erotic rock stars, friends, lovers, veteran guests and Speakeasy virgins gather together in the Womb Room to celebrate the day I made my grand exit from my mama’s womb room. With all due respect to the Virgin Mother, no real mother is a virgin. No father either. We are all Children of Sex with a capital X. Amen & Awomen.
Birthdays make me feel silly. People congratulate you for nothing but being alive. Though at my age, I suppose that’s an accomplishment. And I can’t deny it felt great to ride the airwaves with birthday erotica, multiple spankings, Pocket Rocket orgasms, a male-on-female lapdance and, of course, spanks on the house—counted out loud with me by my spank-happy in-studio audience–with post-spanking butt treatment from my decadent, very politically incorrect, new chinchilla mitt (a bday gift from a sex therapy client with a fur fetish) to ease the burn of those hot cheeks, surfing right into topless birthday candle blowing (with a fabulous, elaborate, gigantic-boobed birthday cake, a gift from Exotic Cakes), followed by more sexy spankings, a live post-show Fogelfoot concert, dancing and romancing with Mister9 spinning all birthday night long.
Sasha Sweet: Naturally curvy, petite and sweet as her name, one of our favorite Nice-Jewish-Girls-In-Porn joins us in the Womb Room for the third time, now as my onstage assistant, helping with the panties, Agwa (providing her own lovely natural boobs for many luscious lime salt lickings), Pocket Rockets, Screaming O’s and spankings. Having recently turned 21, Sasha receives her own belated birthday spanking as the Speakeasy congregation counts out the spanks for me. Executives the world over only wish they could spank their assistants like this upon request.
Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals: Making her second appearance on the show, the sultry sociology professor offers her birthday wishes, a hasty sociological examination of our spanking and Agwa drinking rituals, and, yet again, not even a peek at what panties lies underneath those academic assessments.
Destin Gerek: Erotic rockstar, sexual empowerment coach and innovator of first time introductions, Destin is the first to present me with a “gift” in the form of a full body rub dance and contortioned extravaganza, spreading my legs in various angles, spanking me fairly hard (for a first-time guest)—all of this within a just a minute or two of meeting me! Later he calms down and helps with a few of the other spankings.
Michael Phillips: Award-winning playwright and love cynic returns to RadioSUZY1 for the umpteenth time with a charming birthday poem. Spanking, according to Michael, was practically a hobby for his British mum, in addition to introducing him to a slew of “uncles” of whom later he learned were really her lovers.
Sinn Sage: Professional spanking with a super hero body and one deliciously retro bush to behold. We run into a little trouble when determining if she should receive a spanking for every pussy and cock she sucked in the last 30 days, only to realize that we would be here all night, so 27—her age—is the appropriate number. Sinn, spanked by mommy when young, would frequently fantasize about also being spanked by her hot teenage babysitters.
Lily Cade: Girls blossom, women explode and men move out of the way whenever Lily visits the Speakeasy. This unstoppable goldstar lesbian needs no special birthday occasion to sample the nectars of as many of my female guests, veteran and virgin, as possible.
RubberNecro: Our Lady of Latex, the beautiful fetish model and electricity enthusiast returns to the show in virgin-tight latex, accompanied by Master D and his violet wand, who turns it on and shoots glowing currents at her tongue ring like some kind of diabolical dentist… Later, RubberNecro licks Sinn’s unapologetically hairy bush—and shows off her hairless peach–then, even more eerily, punches Sinn’s flat stomach.
Master D: Longtime friend of the Institute, Master D, besides giving RubberNecro a violet wand root canal and electrifying Sasha’s sweet nipples, gives me an amazing original photograph from the Eric Kroll collection, a portrait of several San Francisco dominatrixes in full regalia that looks like it could have been taken yesterday, but was actually shot in the 1950s.
Charity Bangs: How she managed to melt herself into her skin tight silver and blue corset dress—making her absolutely Bangable—is a topic worthy of a whole show. As she ascends the stage her colleagues immediately lift up her dress to see her adorable panties—blue thong with lime green straps. Charity also receives a very enthusiastic birthday group spanking upon her ultra-bangable buns.
Gram Ponante: Turns out that “America’s beloved porn journalist” moonlights as a singer in the band Fogelfoot. After confessing that he’d rather spank than be spanked, he serenades me with “Girls Only Girls” about a guy who wishes his porn star girlfriend would stick to G/G scenes instead of “graduating” to B/G—an appropriate theme for the demographics present—as Sasha, Sinn, Ela Darling (who gets an extra-hard spanking for coming too late to be on the talking part of the show) and I dance sensually to the music.
Katie Kinns First coming to the Speakeasy with the mysterious Jack the Zipper back in 2007, Katie now attends with her BF Mona Sunoy. Bringing gifts of peace signs and flowers, she is game to strip down, spank and be spanked, as always.
Katie St. Ives A RadioSUZY1 virgin, an adorable freckle-faced brunette porn star with a naturally hot body, exquisite black lace panties, Katie is like the new girl in the sorority, getting paddled by all the sorority sisters for every one of her 22 years, plus one to grow on. The show climaxes with her airwave-shattering climax at the hands of Lily with the help of a Pocket Rocket.
Caller 1: Lord Artimis Foul, past Speakeasy guest, notorious flogger/spanker and active duty US Marine, calls from a nudist resort to wish me a happy birthday.
Caller 2: Imtiaz, still in recovery, calls with birthday wishes. Growing up as a Muslim boy going to Catholic school, Imtiaz was caught with Playboy magazines in class and thus received one ungodly spanking from the priest. Nevertheless…does that explain Imtiaz?
Weapons of Mass Discussion:
Birthdays, Spanking, Birthday Spankings, Sex and Aging, Panties, Congressional Weiners, Schwarzenegger Schlongs, Benjamin Franklin, Immaculate Conceptions, Painful But Energizing Shiatsu Massages, Panties On Boys, Sexual Revolutions, Pakistani Secret Agents, Sexual Sociologists, Porn Communities, 1950s Dommes, Chinese Aphrodisiacs, Nudist Colonies, Mothers Who Elevate Their Sons To Godlike Status, ‘Uncle’ As Code Name For Man One’s Mother-Fucked, Spankin’ Til Bleedin,’ Queen Of Spankings, Archaeology, Philosophy, Anal Friendliness, Anal Acceptance, Getting Anally Fucked By The US Government, Introducing Women To Pleasurable Anal Sex, Anal Sex While Balancing One’s Check Book, Double Penetration, Anal While Texting, Maximum Of 4 Finger-Penetration, Ass Babies, Legal Anal, Fur Fetishism, Lesbian Fantasies Involving Sexy Teenage Babysitters, Getting Spanked by Priests for Getting Caught With Playboy Magazines In Catholic School, Bonobos
Birthday Spanking, Counting Spanks, Rubbing Chinchilla Mitten On Well-Spanked Ass, Topless Spanking, Over-The-Knee (OTK) Spanking, Birthday Orgasms, Lesbian Erotica, Panty Giving, Agwa Body Shots, Topless Assisting, Ritualistic Spankings, Wild and Crazy Lapdance, Electrifying Tongue Ring With Violet Wand, Titty Shocking, Refusal To Spank And Tell, Birthday Poem Reading, Agwa Salt Licking, Banana Suckin, Super Hero Bodies, Cleavage Cake, Group Candle Blowing With Nipples Out, Singing Happy Birthday While Topless, Nipple Sucking, Handing Out Screaming O Cock Rings, Fingering, Displaying Elation Over Hairy Bush Comebacks, Cunnilingus, Ab Punching, Flashing Panties And Invisible Bushes, Ass Licking, Dancing, Grinding, Singing, Dancing, Cumming, Overstuffing Oneself With Boob Cake
Here is the Bday Poem that Michael Phillips read to us all, climaxing with a chorus of inspired, enthusiastic and rather intoxicated Amens & Awomens from the congregation before dissolving into more spanks, licks and orgasms:
Brothers and sisters,
saints and sinners
Dr Suzy opens arms
to losers and winners…
From far and wide they
come to be on the show
some read poems, some
squirt and some they grow.
Whatever the reasons are
they ‘re strangers on arrival
But when they leave they
are friends without rival…
So as we celebrate with
Dr Suzy and eat birthday cake,
Remember what counts isnt the family
your given but the one you Make.
Happy Birthday Dr Suzy
can I get an amen.
can I get an awomen