Asher Fyre, Paige, Dr. Susan Block, U.S. President Barack Obama, Trixie Plenty, Skye and Jade Song fight sexual hypocrisy on DrSuzy.Tv. Photo: L’Erotique

Length 1:32:14     Date: Mar. 1, 2014

“The only vice that cannot be forgiven is hypocrisy. The repentance of a hypocrite is itself hypocrisy.” – William Hazlitt (19^th century British humanistic philosopher)

From the LFC to the MIC, we wrestle with sexual hypocrisy on DrSuzy.Tv. When the LFC (Lingerie Fighting Championships) cancels a guest appearance because someone (we don’t know who exactly) doesn’t want them to be on a show (like mine) that contains “sexual innuendo,” our Weapon of Mass Discussion topic becomes sexual hypocrisy.

These “Lingerie Fighters” who wear nothing but sexy bras and skimpy panties that barely cover their muscles are getting up on their holier-than-thou high horses about “sexual innuendo”? That makes their seductive-while-denying-sexuality image even more phony than their choreographed catfights, designed to erotically arouse dirty old men without “corrupting the morals” of their other target audience: 13-year-olds. The fact that the MMA barely recognizes the LFC makes it obvious the slutty virgin act isn’t fooling anyone, at least not so far. Maybe someday, Lingerie Fighters will be as pure as the Mickey Mouse Club—in their underwear. In the meantime, the LFC is the Champion of Sexual Hypocrisy in Pseudo-Sports. I would offer the league a belt with that inscription, but none of their fighters would wear it because their sexy abs and bellybutton would get covered up. Oh, and then there’s that naughty “sexual innuendo”…

Of course, the MIC (Military Industrial Complex) is a much bigger, fatter, more interesting and much more dangerous force of hypocrisy than the panty-waisted LFC, so we also talk about the MIC on this show. Of current note is the diplomatic hypocrisy of U.S. President Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry condemning Russia for “invading and occupying” the “sovereign nation” of Ukraine when that is exactly what the U.S. did in 2003 when our MIC invaded and occupied the sovereign nation of Iraq.

We take a call from Jason in New York, a former member of the MIC, now working for the ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms). Jason’s not your typical member of the MIC. Then again, maybe he is. He’s certainly been a victim of U.S. military hypocrisy many times over the years. Jason is bisexual, and his “wife” of 14 years (who happens to be named Susan) is a Chinese FTM transsexual who has apparently gone a lot farther than Matty Boi (one of our featured guests on Lupercalia 2014), claiming to be the happy beneficiary of a functional penis transplant. We’ve heard of FTM surgery that turns the clitoris into a (sort of) penis with a little help from some skin grafting, but a transplant? Trixie Plenty gets in on the supernatural convo as it heats up with talk of “donor dicks” and “vaginas in China.” It all begins to make sense when Jason explains that he is (and possibly they are)  extremely high on magic mushrooms and cocaine (probably confiscated by the ATF).

Even though we’re not (that) high (our measly Cosmos and weed just can’t keep up), we find Jason and Susan highly entertaining, and their “confessions,” even if they’re mostly fantasies, illuminate another angle of socio-sexual hypocrisy, so we award them a one-month free pass to DrSuzy.Tv AND a Doc Johnson Pocket Rocket vibrator. “Drop Pocket Rockets, Not Patriot Missiles” and “Drop Bras, Not Bombs” are our mottos, and that’s no hypocrisy. It’s the Bonobo Way.

We’ll also throw in a few Condomania condoms, just in case that donor dick goes AWOL.