Asta Paredes and Catherine Corcoran, stars of Lloyd Kaufman’s “Return to Nuke ‘Em High: Vol. 1” on DrSusanBlock.Tv

Length 1:31:59      Date: Oct. 26, 2013

Happy Halloween from all of us witches and bitches at DrSuzy.Tv in the new Bonoboville at LAX which I fly into on my Magic Dildonic Vibrating Broom. Tis the season to explore scary sex, and in this show, that means horror movies (listen free above), a popular date night activity. After all, fear, in the right dose, can be a tremendous aphrodisiac, throwing us into each other’s arms, yearning for comfort and protection, even as our bloodstreams are racing with adrenaline that turns to orgasms with the flick of a tongue.

That’s the idea anyway. But most horror movies are just, well, horrible. Mainly because they’re nothing but horror and gore. Which is great for horror/slasher fans who lap up all that colorful carnage like porn. I am not one of them. And this is one reason I really appreciate the old cult classic B-movie Class of Nuke ‘Em High, and I love the new Return to Nuke ‘Em High: Vol. 1 (both Troma films). Because they’re a lot more than gore. In fact, they give you a little Al Gore with the gore—without being a bore.

These are horror flicks that flick their forked tongues at the whole horror genre. They’ve got enough scary stuff to keep you clutching your honey, but the foaming mouths and blown up body parts are oozing with brilliant satire, social commentary, progressive values and zany, trashy, out-of-control humor. The old 1986 original is about the horrors that erupt when a nuclear power plant in Tromaville, New Jersey poisons the water in the high school next door. The new version has a pseudo-organic food company, “Tromorganics Foodstuffs Conglomerate,” built on the site of the demolished nuke plant, which gives this 21^st century batch of Tromaville high schoolers some yummy toxic tacos that make them barf and explode with the horror.  Another plus in both films are all the attractive, half-naked young hotties—most of whom are damn good actors—frolicking, masturbating and fornicating among the barfing monsters and neon-green goo.

There’s a homey quality to the films which are made on a slimy shoestring by the very independent Troma Entertainment company, helmed by two of my fellow Yalies, Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz (though they were in Class of ’68). Maybe it’s partly because their fellow classmate, George W. Bush, was so annoying, but in any case, they partnered up to create the Troma team empire which has produced many cult classics over the last 40 some years. Dozens of stars, directors and writers, including Kevin Costner, Dustin Hoffman, Robert DeNiro, Trey Parker, James Gunn, Eli Roth, Oliver Stone and James Scharmus, worked for Troma or acted in movies that the company launched. Quentin Tarentino is a big Troma fan. Stan Lee narrates the opening of Return to Nuke ‘Em High.

So I’m delighted to get Troma-tized at the height of the Halloween season by interviewing a couple of the newest members of the Troma family, the two lovely and talented young stars of Return to Nuke ‘Em High: Vol. 1, Catherine Corcoran and Asta Paredes, just as the film is opening in festivals around the world.

Fans of the old “Class of Nuke ‘Em High” may recall the sexy young couple at the center of the action named Chrissy and Warren. In the new version, it’s Chrissy and Lauren (“Lloyd likes to rhyme” is their explanation for the names), a super sexy young lesbian couple played by Catherine and Asta. Though they say they’re not lovers in real life and all that hot activity under the covers was just tickling, they love their “reel life” lesbian relationship. Already, they’re becoming icons of LGBT love, especially in France where they attended the country’s first gay wedding. Neither likes to call herself bisexual. Asta settles on being “Kahlo-sexual,” while Catherine prefers to remain sexually label-less. In the film, she has a couple of amazing scenes with her character’s pet duck, including one which gives new meaning to the old saying, “Suck a duck.”

Asta and Catherine get cozy.

We talk about the old and new Nuke ‘Em High films which parody bullying, glee clubs, gang rape and school shootings, sex education, big cock fetishes, bad teachers and monstrous corporate irresponsibility, not to mention toxic food and nuclear power. The (simulated) sex and masturbation scenes (masturbatus interruptus) are hot, thus far unrated and very Tromatic! That is, lots of very nice, natural, bare boobs bouncing around and nearly naked people petting, kissing and simulating copulation until something horrific happens—like say, a toxic monster biting a guy’s balls in the middle of sex while blood and boiling slime pour onto his partner. And they say porn warps your sexuality. How about horror films? How about the daily news?

We also discuss other, more everyday kinds of scary sex like how Asta, who grew up in Texas,  had to sign a virginity pledge distributed at her high school and plead with police officers who caught her having sex in a car. Meanwhile, Catherine regales us with details of the neon-green Tromorganic ooze that drips from everywhere, including between her legs in the cliffhanger ending of Return to Nuke ‘Em High. It’s actually gluten-free vanilla pudding. Apparently, the greener it is, and the less it looks like red blood, the more likely the film will get a less restricted rating.

Whatever the rating, don’t miss this newest release of masterpiece TROMA-tica at one of the festivals or playing soon on a computer screen near you! And support Troma’s exciting Occupy Cannes movement. As Lloyd Kaufman says, “Give art back to the people!”

AND support us here at DrSuzy.Tv where you can watch this interview with these two spectacular, Kahlo-sexual, Tromatic ladies as well as seeing such uncensored scary sex masterpieces as “Nite of the Masturbating Dead,” “Nite of the Fornicating Dead” and “Halloween Bacchanalia.”

I must confess that the aphrodisiac of fear works pretty well on this little witch and Capt’n Max. Or maybe it’s just all those bouncing boobs. In any case, Return to Nuke ‘Em High is a superb date movie!

Also featured on the RadioSUZY1 console (found by Ana at the post office): “Free” Batgirl art, courtesy of #GirlWonderExtraordinaire who leaves her paintings around town, asking that folks tweet or facebook them when they find them. Now that’s giving art back to the people.

Here ya go, #GirlWonderExtraordinaire! Photo: L’Erotique

Special thanks to our fearless manager and pinch-hitter producer Trixie Plenty (all corseted, whiskered and tutu-ed up as a sex kitten), Abe the engineer (Abraham Lincoln with a stovepipe hat as big as the mutant cock that grows between Asta’s character’s legs), Jade Song (our RadioSUZY1 tweetress as a Greek goddess), Capt’n Max as Capt’n Max (who told our Italian fans to go see Return to Nuke ‘Em High in Rome, his hometown), plus Mars FX, Gonzo Bonobo, John, Bennett and L’Erotique. Thanks, Condomania, for filling up our Trick or Treat bag with an assortment of condoms in all shapes, sizes, colors and flavors! Actually, one comes in handy right on this show for safer dildonic broomstick sex. Fear might be an aphrodisiac, but safer sex is better sex.

Jade Song, Gonzo Bonobo, Abraham Perez, Dr. Suzy with Magic Dildonic Vibrating Broom (being serviced by Sky), Capt’n Max, Trixie Plenty, Mars FX. Photo: L’Erotique.

I hope you have a happy, horny Halloween, and if you’d like some Scary Sex Therapy, call the Block Institute. Whether you need help conquering your sexual fears or want to roleplay a scary sex fantasy, call us at 213-291-9497. Don’t be a Weiner and expose yourself on Twitter! Put your weiner in our hands and we will not out you! And we’ll be here for you throughout the holidaze…