Perma-War Marches On As Global Warming Rages…But the BIG Question is WHAT TO GIVE YOUR VALENTINE on VALENTINE’S DAY?

Looking for romance? Try our DVDs.

Valentine Gift Ideas

Some people denigrate gifts as superficial, but they are an important part of romance. The 7th Commandment of a Lady’s Pleasure (from my 10 Commandments of Pleasure) is “Thou Shalt Give Her Things.” Since the dawn of humanity, when prehistoric gentlemen gave the best chunks of meat to the ladies they desired, men have successfully seduced women with gifts. The kind of gift depends on the lady and on you; it could be emerald earrings, sexy lingerie, a flower from your garden, the gift of your emotional support or creative talent. It’s not that she doesn’t “love you for yourself,” it’s just that a very primitive part of her responds to a gift as an erotic act.

Lets play!

But what to give? Every woman is different, as is every man, so the only way to know what kind of gift to give your Valentine is to Know Thy Valentine. But here’s a general rule of thumb (or middle finger, as the case may be): The Way to A Woman’s Heart Is Through Her G-Spot. So give your lady a G-Spot Stimulator! As for the boys: The Way to A Man’s Heart Is Through His Eyeballs. So give him A hot DVD! That being said, remember that we all have our masculine and feminine sides, so it could also go the other way around (and those G-Spot Stimulators also work great on the P-Spot ;-) And if you’re going to be in the LA area this weekend, present your Valentine with reservations for our exciting Erotic Art Photo Shoot Salon with Will Santillo at the Speakeasy Saturday evening, February 17. If you’re making reservations as a present for your Valentine, let us know in the “comments” section, and we’ll email you a certificate you can print out and present to your sweet Valentine on Feb. 14. For more hot sexy gift ideas, take a trip to Shopping Heaven.

Photo: Will Santillo

Saint Anna Nicole

Of course, too many gifts is like too much chocolate; it can make you sick. It might even kill you before your time. Yesterday. the beautiful kooky Anna Nicole Smith died just as suddenly as she became famous. Back in the 1990s, when asked if she was bothered by her apparent overnight success, she replied, “Oh, no, I like it,” she said. “I love the paparazzi. They take pictures, and I just smile away. I’ve always liked attention. I didn’t get it very much growing up, and I always wanted to be, you know, noticed.” She got noticed, all right. Her short life was exhibitionistic in every way. And we the people were her demanding voyeurs. Even in death, we look at her in shock and awe. In a way, she is a human sacrifice to the American public’s hunger for bigger-than-life celebrity.

Nothing wrong with celebrity. I enjoy a bit of it myself. But celebrity is also like chocolate. A big box of Gene‘s truffles is delicious for Valentine’s Day, but a steady diet of chocolate or fame is poisonous to human life.

Anna Nicole’s passing was as sudden and mysterious as the death of her son Daniel a few months ago and just three days after the birth of her daughter, his half-sister. What a perverse stroke of fate for a mother: the joyous birth of a beautiful girl and the untimely death of her beloved boy. Perhaps unbearable grief over her son’s untimely demise contributed to the early death of Anna Nicole.

Like millions, I’ve long enjoyed the bodacious bombshell’s big smile, bright eyes, babilicious boobage, endearingly bubbleheaded personality and wild sense humor about herself. Though I never much identified with her. But she identified with Marilyn Monroe, and so do I. Marilyn is the name my father gave me and that my mother refused to call me, so it became my middle, “secret” name, my “inner sexpot.” Like many who didn’t give Anna much thought during her life, I was struck when I heard the news of her death, so tragically similar to Marilyn’s, and so similar to my own close call with da Grim Reaper. I shiver to think that she got what I had, but just didn’t get help in time. Rest in peace, Anna Nicole. May a bevy of angels snap fabulous pics of your beauty in heaven, and may all of them look like Daniel.

Anna Nicole and Sugar Pie

Plamegate, Watada and Filibuster to End the War

Meanwhile, the Plamegate Trial of Scooter Libby is parting the curtain to show us just how guilty the Bush administration and the mainstream media are in cheerleading and misleading this country into a terrible war.

As these devils start to get their due, an angel has risen from the ranks of the U.S. military. Congratulations to Lieutenant Ehren Watada, the first commissioned officer to publicly refuse orders to deploy to Iraq, whose court martial was just declared a mistrial. Watada claimed those orders were unlawful because the war is illegal and he would be an accomplice to war crimes if he followed them. The simple tragic truth and integrity of his position is unassailable. It also doesn’t hurt that Ehren Watada is a total hottie! We Support Ehren Watada and All Resisters of the Anglo-American Illegal Occupation of Iraq! Now Congress needs to take this ball and run with it. Filibuster to stop the war! There is honor in “cutting and running” from a terrible mistake that gets worse the longer we “surge” or “stay the course.” Remember Vietnam.

Lieutenant Ehren Watada: An American Hero and a Hottie!

So much for Perma-War marching on. Global Warming is a little more complicated. But we can start to combat it with a carbon tax on every industry that uses fossil fuels, every home or building with a heating system and every truck and SUV owner. No worries, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, the party isn’t over – not yet! – but it is time to clean-up our act.

Make Valentines, Not War!