EROS DAY XIII: A Squirting Rap-Happy SEX MARATHON!
Length: 142:53 minutes Date: 01/21/2012
It’s Eros Day, which means the stars and the gods are aligned in celebration of sex, as this day marks the annual entry of the penile-shaped and boulder-balled planetoid, appropriately named EROS-433, into Earth’s orbit—and of course, the Womb Room. I thought that since our 13th annual Eros Day celebration happened to fall on the same day as the AVN Awards, it wouldn’t be so hot. Oh Eros, was I wrong about that, as Eros Day XIII turns out to be one of our hottest, juiciest Eros Days in history, featuring an extraordinary multi-orgasmic, multi-squirting, mattress-bouncing, mama-loving, truly Olympian, non-stop sex performance from real-life married couple Jeremy Conway and Lyla Storm as divine lovers Eros and Venus, climaxing with a sizzling concert by Lil Uno of The Pack accompanied by his biggest little fan, my Eros-inspired producer Tasia Sutor..
Lyla Storm: In her 4th appearance on The Dr. Susan Block Show, Lyla plays the role of Venus, aka Aphrodite to the Greeks, born from godly genitalia once cast into the sea, now the essence of love, sex and beauty. As has been our Eros Day tradition for the past few years, we begin with Venus strapped to the bondage X. As Prometheus was bound to the rocks for teaching humanity how to make fire, so Venus is bound to the X for teaching us how to make love—until her cherubic son and lover Eros (Cupid to the Romans, as well as Hallmark) flies in and frees her so that they may screw their way through Eros Day. And screw they do, for literally hours—oral, vaginal and anal–blessing the congregation with copious squirts of Holy Water from both male and female ejaculation. Appropriately enough, Lyla/Venus has a perfectly trimmed pubic heart plus a divine heart-shaped ass (which is no surprise as her uncle is Uranus).
Jeremy Conway: In his 4th appearance on The Dr. Susan Block Show, Jeremy is Eros the ancient God of Lust, Love and Life itself for whom both the planetoid EROS-433 and the holiday of Eros Day are named. As we recite the Eros Day prayer, our Eros-shaped candles lit in devout supplication, Eros answers our prayers and flies into the Womb Room, wearing nothing but cherubic white wings and a mischievous smile. He then rescues his hot mama/lover Venus (his real-life wife of four years) and then proceeds to make divine love to her for over two hours, from every angle in the galaxy, to the awe-inspired, open-mouthed excitement of the Womb Room congregation, many of whom are seeing live sex for the first time.
Misti Dawn: Returning to RadioSuzy1 is last year’s Venus from Eros Day XII: Orgy in the Womb Room, and this year’s pole dancer in FreeOnes panties which she graciously donates to the Panty Boy Collection. Though she has officially left porn for the even crazier world of mainstream entertainment, Misti will always be one of our favorite hotties in this heaven and on earth. As befits a returning Eros Day queen, she arrives with an entourage of sexy nerdy girlies and is joined mid-show by fellow Kentucky native, former Talk Soup host and television personality Hal Sparks (we dare not speculate on the nature of their friendship, but let’s just say: sparks flew, in tune with the spirit of Eros ;)
Jen Friel: Last seen on our fabulous Sex Geeks show (now playing in its entirety on DrSusanBlock.tv), Jen Friel is the creator of Talk Nerdy to Me and a new convert to Eros Day devotions, promising to either return to the Speakeasy or have rollicking Eros-Venus style sex with the lucky nerd of her choosing on Eros Day, 2013.
Julie Wilson: A RadioSuzy1 virgin and writer for Talk Nerdy to Me, she specializes in relationship advice. Tonight is her first time witnessing a live sex show, and judging by her responses to my questions, I’d bet it won’t be her last. She and I spend a few precious moments of Eros Day debunking the latest G-Spot debunking study, the essence of which I’ve been debunking for years (sometimes even getting the debunkers to recant ). We decide we should put a petition together signed by G-Spot owners to protest these bogus studies that proclaim we don’t exist.
Steph Belsky: Another Speakeasy virgin and nerdy talker who gets her first taste of a live sex show, Steph also attests to the existence of her G-Spot, despite its having been announced to be non-existent by another bogus study.
Lil Uno: Lead rapper in the world-renowned hiphop group The Pack, Lil Uno’s a lil late for his first appearance on RadioSuzy1, but he makes up for it with a grand entrance followed by a duet performance with Lil Tasia of some of The Pack’s greatest hits, as her pussy-popping makes his eyes pop, and a genuine appreciation of the power of Eros, as evidenced by his deliciously nasty rhymes. Though he misses Venus’s first squirts and Eros’ Olympian ejaculation, he is here to witness Venus’ most spectacular fountain of Holy Water yet, rising up to the heavens like a geyser of desire. Thus blessed, and practically baptized, he promises to bring along his uncle Too Short, next time he returns to the Speakeasy which should be very soon.
Goldie LoXXX: Arriving on the arm of Lil Uno, we introduce Goldie to the Womb Room—by stripping off her hiphop clothes (more panties for Panty Boy) and strapping her onto the bondage cross in an outfit comprised of nothing but gold chains, as Lil Uno and Venus take turns flogging her lightly to her shrieks of erotic delight.
Callers & Tweeters:
Lasse Braun: The father of Eros Day, as well as multiple AVN-award winning porn director Axel Braun, who introduced me to both the planetoid and my G-Spot (making me squirt for the first time in 2000), calls in from Rome to bless our G-Spots and our spirits on Eros Day.
Robert McQueen wants to know if porn stars come searching to get into the porn industry or if someone gets them into it. In Misty’s case, she was just a girl on the Internet looking to try new things—like two dudes at the same time, for instance. Lyla and Jeremy got into porn looking for swing partners.
Joe calls in, obviously inspired by the Spirit of Eros, quietly confessing that he was recently seduced by his stepmother while his dad was away on a business trip. Most of my Eros Day “panel” of sex nerds have mixed feelings about this. After all, just because Venus and Eros are mother and son as well as lovers, doesn’t mean it’s okay for us humans…or is it? Anyway, a stepmom isn’t really incest…or is it? Weighing hesitation against titillation, he decides to put a stop to the affair before it gets out of hand, but not to turn his stepmom in. Tune into RadioSuzy1 next Saturday night for the next installment in this real-life family sex drama.
Mike wants lube recommendations for anal sex. This may be more suitable for Uranus Day than Eros Day, but Gun Oil is Misty’s knowledgeable suggestion. Lard can also grease the way, though not with condoms.
Panty Boy is a Happy Eros Day Camper with Free Ones panties flying on and off various Venuses, in between squirts and poledances, throughout the evening.
Justine Middleton: Editorial assistance.
Weapons of Mass Discussion:
Happy Eros Day, Discovery of Eros the Planetoid by Carlos Gustav Witt in 1898, Being Hung like the City of Manhattan, Eros the God of the Love, Lust & Life Itself, The Original Blow Job, Bonobos Stimulus Package, The Allegedly Non-existent G-spot, Ominous Changes at Yale, Non-Study Studies Based Solely on Other Studies, G-Area Versus G-Spot, Moon Affecting Moods, Cancer-Free Max, Sex with Hot Stepmom, Pillow Fights with the Hot Stepmom, Is Banging your Young Stepmom Wrong?, If Dad Finds out, MILF!, How to Celebrate Eros Day, Blogging the G-spot, G-spot Petitions Signed in Squirt, Having a Bitch Off Every Exit from San Francisco to LA, Proper Booty Poppin’, Different Methods of Stimulating Squirt, The G-Spot is the Other Side of the Clitoris, Various Lubes, Being a Rapper, Flight Attendant or Porn Star, Uncle Too Short, Living Alcohol-Free, the Bonobo Way
Venus Strapped to Bondage Cross & Made to Suffer for Our Sins of Sexual Hypocrisy, Shame & Abuse, Flogging Venus (Who Doesn’t Appear to be Suffering All That Much), Lighting Cock Candles for Eros, Eros Day Prayer, Naked Winged Eros Jumping over Furniture to Rescue Venus, Fellatio on a Winged God, Divine Mother/Son Marathon Sex, Being Penetrated by a Planetoid, Amplified Squishy Gushy Sound of Live Sex, Divinely Well-Trimmed Pubic Heart, Venus Squirting on Eros on Eros Day, Feet for Foot Fetishists, Hot High Heels, Foot Licking, Toes Sucking, Venus’ Perfect Ass (Thanks to Uncle Uranus), Searching the Phones of Rome for the Father of Eros Day, Blowing Eros, Riding Cupid Until He’s Stupid, Putting on Free Ones Panties & Tank Top, Taking Off the Tank Top, Pole-Dancing, Stripping Former Venus, Jacking Off Eros, Sucking the Planetoid, Spanking Mom, Storytelling while Fucking, Eros Entering Planet Uranus, Eros Standing Back Like a God on Mt. Olympus Getting Sucked by Venus, Body Fluids Between Lovers, Grilling the Girl with the Silver Grill, Naked Bounding About for Agwa Titty Shots, Auto-Asphyxiation Via Angel Wings, Prolonging Erection Through the Start-Stop Technique, Eros Ejaculation All Over Mommy’s Tummy, Venus As Glazed Donut, Late Rushing Rap Star Making Grand Entrance, Rapping Apologies, Pussy Popping, Booty Shaking, Shackling the Girl Clad Only in Gold Chains, Hard and Wet when Getting Whipped by Venus, Panty Droppers for Pantyboy, Hitachi Orgasms, Two Hot Ass-to-Ass Blondes on Pole, Agwa Shot off the Back, Handstanding While Pussy Popping, Adolescent Squirt Stories, Some Serious Squirting, Public Nude Massages, Naked Hula-hooping, Rickshaw Rides, Monkey Rocker Rides, Birthday Girl Spankings, Make Out Sessions & Sex in the Spirit of Eros.