That was the appetizer. The main course was a truly romantic high point in the history of Eros Days: The Erotic Wedding of Laura Moore and Jared Hoffen. That’s right, this was no mere orgiastic spectacle (as if that weren’t enough); we also had a real wedding, with moi presiding, wearing my fully ordained Universal Life Church minister hat. And a very moving ceremony it was, including a dramatic reading from the Song of Songs, even causing the porn sluts to shed a tear for true love. After a vigorous stomp on the glass, the groom reached under the bride’s diaphanous white skirt, yanked off her panties and tossed them into the crowd. Everyone cheered as our American Venus caught the Eros Day bride’s delicate white silky knickers, and gave them a mischevous sniff. After the ceremony, Venus and the two naked wingéd Eroses, one black and one white, escorted the newlyweds to their not-so-private wedding bed with a shimmering, see-through chupah for their first lawfully wedded lovemaking. It was a traditional wedding night, except for their nuptials being surrounded by a bunch of lustful, half-naked hump clusters of nymphs and horny satyrs, everyone kissing, embracing and making like it was their wedding night too. Praise the Lord and the Lady! Dessert! The orgiasts were serenaded by those incorrigibly clever Rap Bastardz, Jesus H. Christ, Flossie B. and the Grimm Reefer, guzzling Nude Beer, chewing Chinese aphrodisiacs and giving canings to eager behinds. I remember giving an anti-Bush speech as the American Venus flashed her bush, and everyone shook and humped on the floor, on beds, on couches, in togas and out. I remember lying back in fields of flesh, bodies moving in rhythmic adoration, when I came like a wave upon the shores of the ancient Roman Riviera into Melanie the Aphrodisiac Nymph’s lush mouth.

Whew, I’m getting myself worked up on a memory. Well, memories like that are just fantasies that really happened. Anyway, over the next several bloggamies before Eros Day 2006 ( and that’s January 21 ~ shameless plug ~ so make your reservations now!), I’ll try to blog a bit here and there about other great Eros Days we’ve had here at the Speakeasy. Each has been different, though all are ruled by the Spirit of Eros, the feeling of love, the commedia erotica of the moment, the essence of life.