It’s tough to be optimistic in a world where bad things happen to good people like Dr. K, and good things happen to toxic hypocrites like Dr. Laura and murderous liars like the Bush Crime Family, in a country embroiled in a State of Perma-War that shows no end in sight, no peace for the war-weary. But I like to stay positive and tend the brilliant flowers and sensuous greenery of my own little Garden of Eden here at the Speakeasy. Yes, we’re still struggling to pay our Sky-High rent and other bills, and yes, we’ve had some serious medical and financial setbacks as well as a few challenging changes in personnel, but the key people are still here, having sex (both physically and metaphorically) and developing our quirky yet common vision of earthly paradise.

A Midsummer Nights Wet Dream

A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream

AND we are planning another exciting, fantastical live broadcast of the video version of The Dr. Susan Block Show with another ecstatic, orgiastic post-show party, sure to open minds, hearts and probably a lot of legs. The theme will be “A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream,” an erotic version of Shakespeare‘s vision of lovers (swingers?) lost in the enchanted forest of Downtown LA. In keeping with the theme, we will celebrate and explore the world of dreams… wet as amrita or dry as brut champagne…

Your dreams are always with you, aren’t they? Always playing hide-and-seek with what seems to be reality, whispering wild ideas into your inner ear, showing movies in your mind, haunting your psyche by night, evolving into fantasies by day, stirring your passions mysteriously yet so powerfully. If you are imprisoned in any way – by your work, your marriage, your government, your upbringing, your situation— your dreams become your freedom. Sometimes your ability to dream is the only freedom you have.

Dreams give you hope. Fantasies fire your desire. They may be silly, as Shakespeare’s Puck observes, “Lord, what fools these mortals be.” They may be somewhat at odds with reality. As the Bard’s Helena says, “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is wing’d Cupid painted blind.” But without your foolish fantasies, blind loves and midsummer night wet dreams, you might well slide down the slippery slope into the dull, listless, Prozac-popping, Perma-War-accepting doldrums of everyday life.

Perhaps no one really understands your dreams. Perhaps you are like Shakespeare’s Bottom, the amateur actor who is magically transformed into a hairy ass and who, after his extraordinary erotic tryst with the marvelous Faerie Queen Titania, exclaims: “I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream, past the wit of man to say what dream it was.”

Your dreams and erotic fantasies lie deep within you, often far beyond human explanation. But they are ripe for interpretation, celebration and exploration. And that’s just what we’ll do at our sure-to-be-unforgettable Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream coming to Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy in the Soul of Downtown LA on Saturday, August 4th. So come one, come all, or just come. If you can’t be here in-the-flesh, you can always watch the fun online. But you shouldn’t miss the chance to join the collective ecstasy, roleplay your fantasies and live your dreams. So, take a peek at some of the exciting featured guests who will be joining us August 4th, update your Block Studios Membership, and make your reservations now.

Telephone Sex Therapy

Then again, if you’d prefer to explore your fantasies privately (perhaps you are a famous politician), you might want to experience telephone sex therapy. Totally private, absolutely confidential, telephone sex therapy can be used for serious analysis, fantasy roleplay, dream interpretation, sexual psychodrama or erotic hypnosis. And then sometimes, you just need to talk.

Institute Director – Dr Susan Block

Whatever your problems or pleasures, we’re here for you, 24/7, all through the summer heat. Treat yourself to a uniquely erotic, illuminating experience.

Call us anytime you need to talk:   213.670.0066

Hookergate II: The Senator and the Veep

Providing comic relief in a Democrappy Congress that doesn’t have the filibustering balls to Just Say No to Perma-War or the wit or wisdom to impeach the Bush Crime Family for their multiple murderous atrocities… Brothers & Sisters, Lovers & Sinners, please put your hands together for Republican Senator David Vitter of the Great State of Louisiana, caught with his hand in D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey‘s delicious yummy cookie jar.

U.S. Senator David Vitter, R-La., prays for forgiveness for his “very serious sin” that may have gotten him castrated

Threatened with being exposed by investigative hypocrite-hunter Larry Flynt who found the conservative Southern Junior Senator’s phone number (he used his own phone?) on Palfrey’s notorious DC John List, Vitter shrewdly decided to go ahead and expose himself, issuing a press release confessing to “a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible…Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there-with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way”

If Senator Vitter were not such a rabid social conservative, I would say leave the poor sorry schmuck alone with his God, his wife and his hookers. But this particular poor sorry schmuck is mightily trying to impose harsh, inhumane restrictions upon the sexual freedoms and rights to privacy of the rest of us, and he’s been doing it for years.

On the back alleys of the French Quarter, Vitter might be a tomcat, but in Congress, he’s a vociferous crusader for “family values.” He was an aggressive Clinton critic during the Lewinsky scandal, calling for the President’s resignation to “preserve the moral fabric of the country.” The New Orleans Times-Picayune quotes Vitter saying that “infidelity, divorce, and deadbeat dads contribute to the breakdown of tradition.” Vitter has also vowed to outlaw abortion in almost all cases, even when the pregnancy results from rape or incest (wonder how he’d feel if he learned he’s knocked up one of his hookers?). Senator Dave is a stern master with the kids too; he’s sponsored legislation to federally finance abstinence-only programs at the expense of real sex education. Of course, “abstinence education” has been proven to be spectacularly ineffective, in part because the kids simply lie about whether they’re having sex, having learned this behavior handily from their elders like Vitter.

The Senator has been particularly colorful in his metaphor for same-sex unions, having called them “the crossroads where Katrina meets Rita,” gaily mocking the agony of his own home state in the wake of the actual hurricanes. Vitter is so vehement in his condemnation of all things homo that he has introduced legislation calling for a Constitutional Amendment to ban gay marriage, stating that this is “the most important issue” of our time.

Vitter sounds like an Evangelical, but he’s Catholic. He’s also Southern regional campaign manager for the Giuliani campaign and was rumored to frequent French Quarter prostitutes even before his phone number appeared on Palfrey’s published records). Interestingly, Vitter first ran for Congress to fill the seat of Speaker of the House Bob Livingston, who resigned after his extramarital affairs became public during the Clinton Follies. While Vitter was campaigning, his wife Wendy was asked what she would do if her husband cheated on her. Mrs. Vitter responded: “I’m a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If he does something like that, I’m walking away with one thing, and it’s not alimony, trust me.”

Ouch. Wonder if castration was one of Wendy’s prerequisites for the “forgiveness” that Vitter said she (and God) gave him when he confessed to his “very serious sin.” Is that a Catholic thing?

Well, in any case, chalk another one up for the DC Madam catching another fairly big fish: a U.S. Senator. Of course, she’s already caught and pan-fried former U.S. Deputy Secretary of State Randall L. Tobias who likened procuring one of Palfrey’s Pamela Martin & Associates‘ call-girls to ordering pizza.

And then there’s that even bigger fish, possibly the biggest fish of them all, certainly the biggest Dick, and I’m not talking about the size of his genitalia. That’s right, back in mid-May, you read in this bloggamy that the Vice (as in “criminal”) President patronizes prostitutes. At least, he did while he was CEO of Halliburton maintaining a residence off Chain Bridge Road in the Ballantrae neighborhood in McLean, Virginia, which had a phone number that appears numerous times on the DC Madam’s John List.

Dick’s Dick

Though just the thought of the creepy Veep having any kind of sex is like something out of Abu Ghraib, we all know that tales of illicit sex wake up the sleeping populace, while this atrocious illegal war, the loss of civil liberties and all of Cheney’s other crimes barely seem to disturb the Great American Slumber Party. Thus the mainstream media, who are the real hookers to this Dick and his government/corporate cronies, has kept this story fairly under wraps for the past couple of months.

But more news is breaking. Apparently, the phone records are confirmed to be Cheney’s. It’s just a question of whether he got the blowjobs (or whatever) himself, or he arranged for (i.e., pimped) a little adult entertainment for “foreign clients.” Whether this Dick is a John or a Pimp, he broke the law that he is so adamant about everybody else obeying. Will he defend himself by asserting that “the vice presidency is a unique office that is neither a part of the executive branch nor a part of the legislative branch,” and is therefore exempt from rules governing either?

As those of you who know me know, I believe the law should be changed, and prostitution should be decriminalized. But in the meantime, I don’t see why we bloggamists shouldn’t continue to hold this Dick’s balls to the fire. The sex he had with the Pamela Martin gals (or guys) is no big deal. Who cares what this half-dead man does or did with his pallid little pecker (or for his “foreign clients”‘ peckers)? But then this is the dick of Dick Cheney, Evil Puppet-Master of the Fascist Perma-War Universe, Voldemort-like Chickenhawk Slaughterer of the Innocents, aimlessly shooting at hapless civilians, from children in Iraq to his own hunting buddy in the woods. The war crimes he has committed cry out for some kind of justice, and if a little sex is needed to get Americans to Wake Up and Smell the Criminality, so be it. .

And yes, I do hope that Palfrey’s attorney, Montgomery Blair Sibley, subpoenas Vitter, Tobias and, especially Cheney to testify on the DC Madam’s behalf that her gals didn’t have sexual intercourse with their clients. Even if nobody gets impeached, it would be a hoot to see Dick get his balls fried on the witness stand.

And then there’s the matter of The List. As of this bloggamy, you can find the DC Madam’s John List right online. Just download the records and see if your phone number is on it! Or maybe your spouse’s phone number? Or your Congressman’s phone number. AT&T: Your World. Delivered. And consider this: Right now, many of America’s ethics-minded young people are combing those records, thinking they want to be like hypocrite-nabbing superhero Larry Flynt.

Of course, some of my fellow bloggamists will complain because I’ve gone after the two Republicans, Vitter and Cheney, caught in sex scandals this week, but not my very own Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa who has admitted to having a romantic affair with sultry Telemundo TV newswoman and politician fetishist Mirthala Salinas.

LA Lovebirds: Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa & Mirthala Salinas

And it’s not just because I think Mayor V is kind of cute (come to the Speakeasy, Tony, bring a bottle of wine and some take-out; we’ll have fun!). It’s because 1) he didn’t break any laws that he, as a government official, is sworn to enforce and abide by, and 2) he has never, to my knowledge, supported legislation to impose restrictions on the consensual sex lives of the people he governs. In other words, he might be a lousy husband, but he’s not a hypocrite. Cheney, Vitter and Tobias have done all of that and worse.

Hypocrisy seems to be an integral aspect of Republican Family Values-Spouting Neo-Con-Artist Sexuality. So can we now just quit beating around the professional bush and call all Republican politicians by their rightful first name: John ?

Not that the Dems don’t cheat on their spouses too; they just don’t tend to like paying for it. They’re cheap and sexually lazy, so they go for readily available interns that already work for them for free and/or the TV reporters that interview them (the interview is the foreplay). It might be crass (and cheap!), but it’s not necessarily hypocritical. Of course, there are exceptions on both sides. But my friends who are hookers confirm that Republicans are the biggest spenders, perhaps because they have the kinkier desires and yes, because hypocrisy is expensive.

Conservative sexual hypocrisy is perhaps best exemplified by the case of Pastor Ted Haggard, gay john and anti-gay evangelical preacher, as well as major fundraiser for the Bush Crime Family. Then there’s that page-loving Congressman Foley (he didn’t go to hookers because they tend to be above his age range). Then there’s former Congressman Duke Cunningham and the war profiteers’ hookers-and-poker parties. And we’re still wondering which White House resident enjoyed the services of Jeff Gannon, a.k.a. Jim Guckert, male prostitute specializing in military fetishes (Dubya, take your pants off, put your boots on, get down on your knees and put my gun in your mouth. Hooah!).

Well, they’ve all got problems. And they’re all welcome to call me for one free hour of sex therapy. I’d consider it my patriotic duty to help America’s politicians deal with their sexuality

The Bonobo Way: Meet the Bonobos

But back to us and our Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream Show and Party. We will be celebrating several of our dreams that night, including the fact that one of those dreams is now becoming a reality: our BonoboWay world community, spreading peace through pleasure in the world. Read my new blog “Meet the Bonobos” and register to become a member — it’s free right now.

It’s The Bonobo Way!

Though the community is not quite operational yet (it is being developed by Community Wizard and Melo Queen Sara Sioux Robertson and a team of highly evolved apes), we do have T shirts! Yes, right now, just in time for summer, you can be sexy, fashionable, cool and ecologically correct in a Bonobo Way spaghetti strap tank top or whatever style shirt you prefer.

Lana & Me

“SQUIRT for PEACE!” Thong

Speaking of sexual political fashion statements, in response to popular demand, the Block Institute is pleased to present our brand new 100% cotton “Squirt for Peace!” thong.

“Squirt for Peace!” Thong

Those of you who are too shy to publicly proclaim your gushing abilities across your chest on a T shirt can now wear them discreetly right on your crotch (where it should be). Express your love of Female Ejaculation and your opposition to the War in one sexy thong.

A portion of the proceeds of all Squirt for Peace Thongs and BonoboWay T Shirts goes to help save the bonobos in the wild and stop the war in Iraq.

And don’t forget to check out our Squirting Index for all your Female Ejaculation needs and curiosities.

RadioSuzy1 News

The TV version of The Dr. Susan Block Show has become such an erotic exotic extravaganza that I can only produce it every six weeks or so. But I’m doing the radio show (almost) every night, so check out some of our most recent broadcasts with fantastic special guests like Counterculture Legend Paul Krassner, Sex Worker Activist Mariko Passion, Female Ejaculation Expert Deborah Sundahl, in our Radio Archive. We’ve also got some exciting guests and themes coming up: “Mating in Captivity” author Esther Perel on Thursday, “Dying for It: Erotic Tales of Sex & Death” editor Mitzi Szereto on Friday the 13th, Speakeasy on Saturday and Fukuoku Finger-Fitting Products King Howard (purveyor of the sensuously effective Vibrating Gloves and Two Fingers and a Thumb Fun) on a Special Sunday Sex Toys Edition. Every night 10:30 pm – Midnight (PT). Tune and call in toll-free in North America at 1.866.289.7068 or 213.749.1330. Don’t worry, it’s not real life, it’s only radio.