Why Presidents Should Celebrate Masturbation Month
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By Dr. Susan Block
Merry Masturbation Month! May is Masturbation Month, having been so proclaimed by my mentor, Dr. Betty Dodson, along with the good folks at Good Vibrations, over 20 years ago, to honor the wisdom and courage of former U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. In answer to a question at the end of a United Nations speech in 1994, Dr. Elders was sensible and bold enough to suggest that public school sex education programs teach that masturbation is a safe sex option, as well as a natural and normal part of human sexuality. Instead of being applauded for giving an excellent off-the-cuff response, as she should have been, she was fired by the man who hired her, none other than sax-fingering, I-did-not-have-sex-with-that-woman President Bill Clinton.
Bill may have been one of our more bonoboësque presidents. He did manage to get a blow-job without losing his day job. Still, he was impeached as the nation was turned upside-down in a rabid pursuit of his stray DNA. Bottom line: He should not have fired Dr. Elders. If only he had listened to her and just masturbated instead of spilling his presidential seed all over that blue dress – the devastating climax of the blowjob heard round the world, George W. Bush might not have assumed the position that ruined not just a dress, but a country.
See, this is why everyone, even—or perhaps especially—the President, needs Masturbation Education. Considering how much time the current First Lady spends in the White House, the current unpresidented occupant certainly needs a hand. And this is why we all need Masturbation Month. So go ahead, go bonobos and give yourself a hand. Celebrate the month of May!
© April 28, 2017. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066. Email your comments to her at liberties@blockbooks.com and you will get a reply.
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05 · 22 · 15 @ 10:13 am
I love your work — and especially that you encourage auto-erotism . .
05 · 20 · 15 @ 10:04 pm
luv tha video – u were always beautiful even at 19! masturbation is tha safest sex to have and the atty general was right!
05 · 6 · 15 @ 8:03 pm
Fail to the chief in this instance! Hip hip hooray to Dr. Elders and to Dr. Suzy for continuing to honor her!
05 · 4 · 15 @ 4:53 pm
Been catching up on my Bloggamy. Suzy, your way with words & imagery is astounding. How have you never published a book of poetry? <3
05 · 1 · 15 @ 9:03 pm
Bravo!
05 · 1 · 15 @ 1:32 am
As I was reading this, I couldn’t help but think about the huge hypocrisy of this situation. Good ol’ Bill gets a presidential blowjob, and yet halts a progressive idea involving sex. You would think that someone who is willing to get a blowjob while lounging around at the office would be alright with pushing forward with some sexual education.
I am in awe that this happened over 20 years ago, but glad that folks like Dodson and organizations Good Vibrations have made it a point to bring awareness to the need for sexual education.
In the end, this blowjob heard around the world was a good thing, I can’t imagine what the public schools would have done with this sort of educative curriculum. Great article, and insightful historical notes. Happy Masturbation De Mayo!
05 · 1 · 15 @ 12:53 am
Excellent Dr. Suzy, I look forward to this month’s shows.