“The Cuckoldress” on DrSuzy.Tv
Length 01:37:32 Date: Nov. 2th, 2019
Cuckolding is one of humanity’s most fascinating, passionate and misunderstood erotic fetishes.
So, I’m delighted to spend most of this show chatting with Brett McCabe, auteur director of “The Cuckoldress,” as well as his leading lady, Ali Lu, along with fellow cast member, Baldev Sandhu, about this fine and very funny short film.
Even if you’re not “into” cuckolding, you may well find it enlightening, amusing and maybe even arousing.
Make Sperm Wars, Not Real Wars (more on that later)!
It’s also our fifth great Impeachment Party.
The evidence is in that our previous four Impeachment Parties have had a positive effect because on Halloween morning, three days after the Narcissistic Nincompoop-jn-Chief was BOOOOOOOed at the World Series (as I write this, he’s being BOOed again at a UFC Championship), the U.S. House of Representatives voted 232-196 to formalize the impeachment and establish procedures for public hearings.
Our “Cuckoldress” guests aren’t really into the Impeachment Party spirit; either they’re apolitical, allergic to peaches (though they love Max’s fresh tomato pasta), or just very focused on their careers as budding Hollywoodites.
But my lovely assistant, Sunshine McWane, and I share a peach in juicy celebration of this auspicious moment in American history.
We wanted to smash our Halloween Trumpkin—then we’d be Smashing Trumpkins!—but unfortunately it went rotten, like the Trumpus himself. So, we had to dump it—like we have to do with Trumpty Dumpty himself.
Therefore, we just whip the lying, crying, tyrannical toddler—under gag-order with the penis pacifier, as well as a peach—and we will keep whipping his pink furry balls every week until We the People whip his saggy peach ass out of the White House.
What will the future bring? Some say he’s got to go, others that he’ll never leave—even if he loses the election.
Whatever happens, I believe in doing your part to advance what’s right, and my “part” in this vast war of worlds is beating my Trumpus voodoo doll while reminding my viewers of his multiple impeachable crimes.
Plus eating lots of peaches!
It’s also Day of the Dead, Dia de los Muertos, and skeletons in sombreros dance on my sleeves, representing my dead relatives and friends joining the Impeachment Party!
Back to “The Cuckoldress,” a provocative and comical mini-flick featured in several film festivals, including the Austin Comedy Short Film Festival (where it won a “Best Editing” award), Hollywood Comedy Shorts, the Boston Underground Film Festival, the Nachtshatten Festische Film Festival and Cinekink.
Speaking of squirting, Brett, a man who wears his sexual preferences on his chest, sports a T-shirt that boldly proclaims, “The Future is Female Ejaculation.”
Squirt for Peace!
Brett himself is a bit of a kinkster, though he says he originally got into the kink scene back in his home state of Massachusetts because he was just a nonmonogamous horny guy looking to get laid.
He’s still a nonmonogamous horny guy looking to get laid as evidenced by his avid texting (sexting?) to an out-of-town couple before, during breaks and after the show, looking to hook-up as a “bull” with the cuckoldress. After all that texting, the couple couldn’t make it, and they’re leaving town in the morning. Oh well, next time!
Such is the capricious nature of the social media-propelled cuckolding hook-up.
So, what are the origins—or, as our Impeachable Presidunce says, “the oranges”—of “The Cuckoldress”?
I believe that the origins of cuckolding itself might be in men’s balls; that’s the Sperm Wars theory. But what about Brett?
It was in the Codfish State that Brett collected his thoughts about all the fascinating and funny kinks—from dildo-queening to age play to golden showers—that he was encountering in his quest for casual sex and wove them into the screenplay for “The Cuckoldress.”
The screenplay came to life when Brett moved out here to Hollywoodland to seek his fortune in film and comedy.
He encountered fellow stand-up comic Ali Lu on the comedy circuit and cast the adorable Alaskan comedienne in her very first film as the title role of “The Cuckoldress.”
Cuckolding History & Etymology
Before we delve deeper, let’s define our terms. Having written the definition of Erotic Cuckolding for the Wiley-Blackwell International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality, and having counseled thousands of men, women and couples on the subject, I know a little something about it.
Essentially, “cuckold” is an old English term for a man whose wife (often called a “hotwife” or, in the case of this film, a “cuckoldress”) or girlfriend has sex with other men (often called “bulls”).
The original spelling, “cukewold,” borrowed from the Old French “cuccault,” which derived from the “cuccu,” or female cuckoo bird’s practice of laying eggs in other birds’ nests, thereby “cuckolding” the other bird who winds up raising baby cuckoo birds who aren’t theirs. The pejorative suffix “ault” indicates that the “cuccault” is being taken advantage of by his adulterous wife, as by a lady cuckoo bird.
Speaking of fine-feathered savants, The Owl and the Nightingale, a 12th or 13th century Middle English poem, is the oldest known text using the term, though it reappears more famously in Chaucer’s “Miller’s Tale.” Shakespeare loved cuckolds; many of his characters—both tragic (Othello) and comic (Ford in “Merry Wives of Windsor”)—wonder aloud if they have become one.
Later comes Molière’s “The Imaginary Cuckold.” When I mention to Brett and company that “The Cuckoldress” has some elements of theater in general and Molière comedy in particular, I’m surprised that none of them have even heard of Molière (sigh… Millennials), the renowned 17th century French playwright, truly one of the greatest—and funniest—artists of all time; sorry Kanye, but no matter what you proclaim, you are so not the “greatest,” or even in the top 10,000.
Well, I’m happy to introduce these future stars of stage and screen to the great, hilarious and very cuckold-conscious Molière.
Cuckoo birds don’t have horns, but somehow the “horns” of cuckoldry emerged along with the word, often represented by two fingers on the sides or back of the head. Thus, the cuckoo morphed into the horned and rather horny goat, mimed by scornful adults and laughing children.
About a hundred years after Molière, the term “cuckold” went out of fashion for a while.
It comes up oddly in 1978, in John Irving’s The World According to Garp, as part of the title of Garp’s second novel, Second Wind of the Cuckold, a novel “full of wounding dialogue and sex,” which gets such bad reviews (“mostly garbage and nonsense”) that Garp decides to stop writing.
Since the early 1990s and into the 21st century, there has been a resurgence of interest in the cuckold’s predicament, cuckold sex, cuckold fantasies, hot wives, big bulls, sperm wars and the cuckold lifestyle.
While the old-time “cuckold” was always deceived by his cheating wife (unless he was one of the those exceptional husbands who was happy to have his wife enjoy the favors of a “higher up” like, say, a King), the contemporary cuckold fetishist is very much aware. He is, additionally, very much aroused by the fantasy and/or reality of his wife, girlfriend or, actually, any woman he finds attractive having sex with another man, or men. There are also LGBTQ cuckolds, but we’ll stick with the traditional, heteronormative pronouns for now. In Old English, such a husband who supported his wife’s philandering was more accurately termed a “wittol” (one who “knows”), but modern fetishists commonly use “cuckold,” maybe because they find spelling one Middle English word (cockhold? cookold? cokehell?) challenging enough.
Typically, the cuckold’s “hotwife” (or “cuckoldress”) has sex with the other man, sometimes called a “bull” (ironically, an actual bull does have horns), sometimes while the horny hubby watches or participates, sometimes in an entirely separate venue. Ideally, everybody respects each other’s desires and boundaries.
Talk Dirty to Brett
Of course, as Capt’n Max says, the ideal is the enemy of the real, and complications can arise in a wide variety of ways.
In “The Cuckoldress” film, the wannabe-cuckold husband wheedles, cajoles and virtually coerces his reluctant “cuckoldress” (Ali) to go out on dates with men he finds online and then come home to tell him all about them in as much vivid detail as he can extract from her.
Unsurprisingly, he also enjoys phone sex, sometimes as foreplay for an in-person meeting, sometimes just for the fun of it.
He even invites our listeners to give him a call sometime, but balks at giving out his phone number.
He’s into “nonmonogamy,” as he puts it, which might involve swinging and BDSM, but not polyamory (too much work). But our budding comic/filmmaker will indulge in the occasional cuckolding adventures, with him as the bull, of course. In fact, he plays the part of the first of the bulls in “The Cuckoldress.”
Sperm Wars & the Upsuck Effect
Why would a man want to see—or hear about—his wife having sex with someone else? Wouldn’t he feel jealous? Humiliated? Angry? How could he like it? Why would he go out of his way to pursue it, sometimes obsessively, despite the jealousy, shame and stigma that being cuckolded often entails?
As we discuss on the show, there are various reasons—both organic and cultural—for the seemingly absurd, yet universal appeal of cuckolding. Biologically speaking, the “sperm wars” theory—stemming from evolutionary biologist Robin Baker’s (2006) research—suggests that one man’s “team” of spermatozoa compete for the egg with another‘s. Thus, the cuckold’s seminal volume tends to increase, creating greater arousal and a stronger erection, when he perceives “competition” for his wife than when he feels she is “true” to him, giving him no known rivals on the field.
See why so many men like football… and war? It’s sperm competition with shoulder-pads …or bombs.
Then there’s the “upsuck” effect. A study by Gordon Gallup concluded that one evolutionary purpose of the thrusting motion characteristic of passionate intercourse is for the male member to suck up, clear out and displace another man’s semen before depositing its own. The cuckold’s urge to thrust, through intercourse or masturbation, is often greatly enhanced by the presence of the bull, whether real or imagined. Between a stronger erection and greater thrusting impulse, the cuckold’s arousal level can be far more powerful than contending feelings of fear, jealousy, ownership, betrayal, humiliation or reputation… at least until climax.
From the happy hotwife’s point of view, variety is the spice of sex, helping to resolve the “orgasm gap,” even though our society tells us that women who enjoy variety are treacherous “sluts.” But consider this: Most women take longer than men to climax, and many of us can have multiple orgasms, while guys tend to have only one or two per night. Maybe it’s just an evolutionary fluke—or maybe it’s because Mother Nature wants the ladies to enjoy several different partners… and may the best sperm win.
Notice there’s no actual fighting or killing among the actual men in a healthy cuckold scenario; just the sperm.
Make Sperm Wars, Not Real Wars!
Nevertheless, many ladies are just not “into” cuckolding, such as Ali Lu, as well as the wife she plays in “The Cuckoldress.”
Maybe it goes against their morals. Maybe it overwhelms them. Or just seems like too much trouble. Or unromantic.
Here’s a telling bit of dialogue from the film:
The Cuckoldress: “I love you and I want to be with you.”
The Cuckold: “You can be by fucking other men”
And yes, he really means it. Though neither he nor she understand it.
Furry Fun & Real-Life Love
“I want you to know I’m only doing this because I love you,” says Ali Lu’s character in “The Cuckoldress,” just before going out on her first date with a man other than her husband.
The Cuckoldress has great chemistry with the next guy, as both are into anime. But then he puts on the furry suit of the Big Bad Wolf. At first, she’s wary, but then she gives it a go and puts on a chicken suit and appears to have quite a good time. Later, in bed with her cuckold husband, she talks about the Furry Guy sticking “his thing” in her, whereupon the exasperated hubby, furiously masturbating, hollers, “CALL IT A COCK!” (I hear Brett’s personal penchant for dirty talk in this line).
“No,” she replies. “He was a wolf. I was the cock.”
Their furry sex, set to music also by Brett (he appears to have done pretty much everything on this film except play all the roles), is one of the funniest scenes in the film. But Furry Guy triumphs later. Without spoiling the ending for you, let’s just say he turns into an odd but genuine romantic hero.
Interestingly, Furry Guy is played by Ali Lu’s real-life live-in boyfriend, Baldev Sandhu. They’re monogamous, but then they’ve only been together for two years (though they were friends for a year before that—like Capt’n Max and me!), so we’ll check back with them in another couple of years to make sure that sexual exclusivity is still flourishing.
Not all furries are as nice as Baldev’s character. A Florida man was recently caught having sex with various stuffed animals at Target, including Olaf from “Frozen,” but since he’s playing with stuffed animals, not wearing a creaturely outfit, he’s more of a “plushy” than a furry.
Likewisse, not all cuckolds are as clueless as the one in “The Cuckoldress.” Some are truly sensitive to the needs of their HotWives as well as their Bulls.
Nevertheless, I have to admit that many of my cuckold clients are just as focused on themselves and their fetish—to the point of being deaf, dumb and blind to their partners’ needs and concerns—just like the douche that Ali Li’s character finds herself married to. This cuckold didn’t even tell his cuckoldress about his fetish before they tied the knot—and now he just expects her to go along with it.
The Trumpus himself is best known for his nonconsensual “pussygrabbing” and philandering, but my hunch is he is also a cuckold. How could anyone be faithful to such a faithless narcissistic blowhard? Though Melania’s never been caught red-handed like her sloppy hubby, rumors have her with a number of paramours, including Trump Towers Tiffany’s security chief Henry “Hank” Siemers. According to the gossip, the tiny Hung-like-a-Toadstool Trumpus approves. He’s a terrible president, but it sounds like he’s a pretty good cuckold!
The worst and best-known cuckold in the Trump Regime is Paul Manaforte, now a trending topic because even though the Trump campaign supposedly fired him in August, 2016 because of his ties to Russia, he kept secretly working with the campaign and pushing the theory that the Ukraine, not Russia, hacked the DNC email server.
Manafort keeps secrets, or tries to, but some of them come out, and one is that is a cuckold, his own daughters texted back and forth about his cuckold interracial gangbang parties, and how he pressured his reluctant hotwife into having sex with dozens of “well-hung” African-American men.
We talk about how often racist guys, or at least men who support racist policies, are turned on by interracial cuckolding. When I have this type of cuckold is in therapy, I try to help him see the humanity in bulls, but that’s no easy task.
Then there’s Roger Stone, the flamboyant hypocrite with a tattoo of Richard Nixon in the middle of his back that women “love,” or so he says. Stone is also into being cuckolded by his hotwife—even placing ads for bulls in swinger magazines—as well as into shaming people by calling them cucks.
If you want to learn how to be a bad cuckold, just follow the leads of Stone, Manafort and “The Cuckoldress.”
Sally as Liz: Cougar Politics & Porn
When I mention to Brett that Sally will be doing a porn parody of Elizabeth Warren in her Jamie Foster porn persona, his eyes light up and he says he wants to write the script.
I’m a passionate Bernie supporter. He’s in Minneapolis as I write this, encouraging folks in those valuable Rust Belt states to “Feel the Bern!”
But I’m also an Anyone-But-Trump Gal, and my second choice is Liz (who’s sort of Bernie-lite). Sally adds to her value, playing her as a hot Cougar (a mature woman who enjoys having sex with younger men).
This could be an awesome film (or a series, if Warren wins)—both the XXX and PG versions—especially with Liz having been accused of having hot Cougar BDSM sex with a hunky young former Marine. The accusations are totally baseless, but the story is so juicy that when I heard it, my opinion of her skyrocketed. So has Brett’s.
There’s a lot more to this fascinating show, which you can hear above or watch below.
Nor is it a very political show, since for various reasons, none of my three guests wants to go “on the record” with their political opinions. We do talk a bit about religion: Brett is a “confirmed” Catholic, though rather lapsed, Ali’s Catholicism had lapsed since before she was born, and Baldev is Sikh, also somewhat lapsed since he’s not rocking the turban.
PHOTOS 1, 2, 4: HUGH. PHOTOS 3 & 5: SELFIE
We also talk about filmmaking. But we mostly talk about cuckolding.
Why are there so many reluctant cuckoldresses and eager cuckold wannabes? Is an interest in cuckoldry growing with these kinky times? Or has it always been popular, except that in the old days, it was too shameful for a man to admit he enjoyed being cuckolded, but now, with so much acceptance of what used to be considered “deviant” behavior, is cuckolding coming out of the closet? What are the key differences between coercive cuckolding and cuckolding with enthusiastic consent? How do “sperm wars” affect our sexual desire? Why is cuckolding so funny to so many people and yet so erotic—sometimes for the same people? What’s it like to have sex in a furry suit?
What a sapiosexual kick-off to Naughty November!
Naughty Gifts & Cuckoldress Fantasies
Whether you’re “into” cuckolding or not, give yourself the Naughty November gift of great entertainment and watch “The Cuckoldress.”
Plus, unlike the Kindle version, you can hold it in your hands or leave it lying luxuriously on your coffee table. Censored by Amazon, SPANK ‘N’ ART is now available for you and your spankable lovers and friends.
After the after-party, Captain Max and I create our own “cuckold” fantasy, a dream of him watching me as I dance with another man on the deck of a ship that, a couple of orgasms later, winds up with just the two of us, in each other’s arms, holding each other tight as we melt into the dreamy sea of sleep.
© November 2, 2019. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.
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