WILD Summer Solstice with Anka Radakovich, Ron Jeremy, Ryon Cherry & Jack the Zipper!
Length 1:45:45 Date: June 21, 2014
On the Summer Solstice, we Earthlings (at least those who “know what day it is”) honor the day when the star we call the “sun” (“sol” in Latin) is at its highest in relation to the northern hemisphere of this planet we call “Earth,” with various rituals from circle dances around Stonehenge to massive yoga demos in Times Square. Here on RadioSuzy1, broadcasting live from Bonoboville, we celebrate the sun and the moon with four different stars (two heavenly bodies and two disembodied): an author, an auteur, an anal queen and an icon.
The author is celebrity sex journalist, Anka Radakovich, whose smart, satirical, sex-positive columns in Details and British GQ, as well as her popular appearances on Conan O’Brien and other shows, have enlightened her audiences about the latest cultural trends in sex, dating, porn, tantra, cheating, genital “enhancement” surgery, fetishes and fantasies, as well as guys who get off on dolls, cuckolding and watching women pop balloons between their boobs. Though I’ve followed Anka’s stellar career since the 1990s, this is her virgin appearance on DrSuzy.Tv, and she doesn’t actually appear, but joins us by phone, reporting from an “undisclosed location” in a New York state of mind, to promote her fun, funny, info-packed new book The Wild Girls Club, Part 2: Tales from New York to Hollywood.
The icon is my old friend, the porn star who was a teacher who reinvented himself as Everyman’s ironic, iconic sex symbol, the one and only Ron Jeremy. Ron is here to reconnect and dispel recent rumors of his death and mythical “feud” with Miley Cyrus, as well as to promote his new album, “A Classical Evening with Ron Jeremy” (produced by Shooter Jennings, son of Waylon), in which the man with the world’s most famous penis reveals that he is also a trained pianist. We’ve known Ron’s semi-secret talent for decades (watch him tickle my keys in “Not Just a Penis–a Pianist!“). The man knows what to do with a musical staff as well as his personal “staff.” Though we don’t have the Steinway set up yet for Ron to play, we do get to see quite a lot of his intergalactically famous kosher schlong, which brings me to my next guest…
The anal queen is the vivacious, rapacious, hour-glass-figured Ryon “The Fornicator” Cherry whose magnificent, all-natural 36DD breasts are only out-wowed by her big bouncing beachball of a derriere. Ryon could be the quintessential “wild girl” in Anka’s “Wild Girls Club” series. In terms of sex and porn, Ryon says, nothing has ever been “too wild” for her.
Anka chimes in that she draws the line at “sex with dwarves and dolphins,” bringing to mind the recent release of a 1960’s tape of a NASA-funded project showing nautically naughty Margaret Howe Lovatt trying to teach Peter the dolphin to speak English, when Peter’s peter takes over the lesson. As Ron points out, “She did it on porpoise.” Bada-bing.
But this show is not all puns and innuendos, as it evolves (or devolves, if you’re not a porn fan) from fairly “wild” conversation into really wild fornication right on my tiny radio studio table, featuring the Icon and the Anal Queen getting it on and doing it all, from world-class cunnilingus to throat-opening fellatio to crazy fingering to crazier fucking. For folks with exceptionally ample natural endowments, Ron and Ryon sure know how to get the job done in cramped quarters. Join DrSuzy.Tv or Bonoboville to watch.
The auteur, the fourth star in our Summer Solstice firmament, is the disembodied voice of edgy erotic filmmaker Jack the Zipper (Ryon’s “roommate”) who starts by declaring his adoration for the other disembodied voice, Anka, and his passionate desire to cast her in a non-porn role in his next porn movie. The two disembodied voices flirt intriguingly, but ultimately give way to the heavenly bodies coitally colliding on my table, celebrating Summer Solstice with hot fornicating passion. It’s wild!
More Weapons of Mass Discussion & Commedia Erotica:
Summer Solstice “Bonoboville Communion” is especially tasty with sinfully delicious “Ron de Jeremy” spiced rum, Ron’s own signature beverage. That’s right, RJ the Icon is now Ron the Rum Runner. As Ryon (who took Catholic communion when she was a believer “for about a week”) busts those beautiful 36 DDs out of her bra, Ron plays “June is Busting Out All Over,” this month’s happy theme, on his harmonica. The icon is a man of many talents. He even persuades our DrSuzy.Tv PA, Robyn, to bust out for June.
Former U.S. President Bill Clinton calls in (!) to discuss cigars, boobies and how much he admires his pal Ron Jeremy, even though the Secret Service wouldn’t let anyone photograph their historic meeting at a recent party (when the Prez was photographed with a couple of Dennis Hof’s contract workers). There is mutual respect between the two men, each famous for what they did in the oval orifice.
Anka’s tale of meeting another icon, Michael Jackson, at another party at the house of eccentric genius producer Robert Evans, proves she’s not just a hot sexpert, she’s a cool partygoer.
After Ron describes how he survived the kind of aortic aneurysm that killed Einstein, Lucille Ball, John Ritter and several other icons, wisely advising everyone to take their blood pressure, Anka says she’s taking hers right now… anally.
Another fond farewell to our mutual friend Al Goldstein who checked into the big whorehouse in the sky around Winter Solstice, with Ron emphasizing his important contributions to freedom of speech, while Capt’n Max and I emphasized his yummy brunches.
If you’re in Southern California and you need a good fridge or a washing machine to use as a vibrator or even just to wash your clothes, get it at a nice price from the nice guys at Nice Buy Appliance! Hop on and put that spin cycle to double duty.
Ryon twerks her voluminous booty, earning a few good slaps from the JuxLeather Infinity Belt slapper.
Ron Jeremy elected Mayor of Bonoboville! His first response to the big news: “What does it pay?” Not as much as Ron de Jeremy (we’re in beta), just lots of bonobo love… Talk about perks!
Post-Show Party: We move to the Institute commissary where some enjoy “Ron Rum” while others get delectably debauched on our own Dirty Tequila. Then we clear the table as the Anal Queen ascends, with fruits and dips all around, and takes it anally from the Icon right on the same domestic surface as the now-legendary post-22nd Wedding Anniversary “Kitchen Table Orgy.”
Make like bonobos, not baboons! Get a copy of The Wild Girls Club, Part 2: Tales from New York to Hollywood, join Bonoboville and get wild in The Bonobo Way.