The Too-Too Sexy Hats I Love
I’ve always had a fetish for hats, ever since I was 11 when a cute boy gave me a burgundy porkpie hat that he claimed belonged to my older brother who had pilfered it from my Dad. What a hat trick that was! Between the fact that this was a gift from a hot boy and the incestuous insinuation of it having been worn by my sexy, older, rather emotionally remote brother and my even older, more emotionally remote father, I was in lust with that porkpie hat. Plus, I found that the hat sometimes “spoke” for me when I didn’t want to speak, and I could pull down the brim and hide behind it when I didn’t want to face the world. I wore that hat until it wore out.
By that time, I was 16 and had developed a small hat collection including several caps, three more porkpies and a big floppy felt number tie-dyed by yours-truly with a peace sign on top (my tasteful mother was mortified by its gross vulgarity). At Yale, I only wore hats when I was in theatrical productions, which was just often enough to satisfy my hat cravings. By the time I got to San Francisco, I’d worn out all my hats and couldn’t replace them, since nobody was wearing hats in the ‘80s except Boy George. Lots of big shoulder pads and big hair, but no hats.
In the mid-80s, I met Max. I had big hair, and he had no hair (or not much hair), and neither one of us wore hats. Then in 1991, while I was hosting my radio show from KFOX in Redondo Beach, Max put a white captain’s hat on my head, and the rest is erotic millinery history. I got hooked on hats all over again, and much more than ever before. I became a hat fetishist. I discovered that hats turned me on, made me feel sexy and sexual. But not many people were wearing hats in the 90s, and you couldn’t find a decent lady’s hat anywhere for under 50 bucks. Hats were rare and lovely, and I loved them.
I still love hats, but nowadays I’ve got plenty of company. Hats are stylish again, almost as fashionable as they were during the 1920s, the era of the real speakeasies when almost everyone wore fantastic hats. And thank God, Goddess and Mao Tse Tung for the Chinese and other underpaid Third World milliners who have made marvelous, elegant and extravagant-looking head-coverings more affordable than a Big Mac. Inexpensive hats, caps, lids, bonnets, berets, Stetsons, sombreros, helmets, floppies and fedoras are everywhere.
Why have hats become stylish again? Hats give the wearer character. A nice chapeau frames your face like a picture. In the Internet Age, everyone with a webpage is a “personality” of sorts, and what better way to show off your personality – your personal facial avatar – than with the perfect hat?
Every hat fetishist has a favorite haberdashery, and mine is the Too-Too Hat Company. I’m not sure if the name indicates that it is just “Too-Too” awesome to-to pass up, or because some of the fancier hats look like you’ve got a tutu on your head, but it has the greatest variety of cool, sexy, casual and dressy hats at the cheapest prices I’ve ever found. Whether you’re going to Church, the Beach or the Speakeasy, Too-Too is the place to go.
I stumbled upon Too-Too Hats when I first moved to Downtown LA in 1998 and found myself in a sea of colorful wholesale and discount shops, also with odd-sounding, silly-cute names like Happy Choice Shoe, Do Re Mi Pet Clothes and Do Me Now Miniskirts, in and around world-famous Santee Alley. In 2002, Tony Ortega of LA New Times (since swallowed up by The LA Weekly) interviewed me. “Dr. Susan Block is a sex goddess with a philosophy Ph.D. “he writes, “So we asked our favorite boudoir revolutionary to show us where she goes for all those fancy headdresses…” So of course, I took Tony to my favorite store, surrounding him with the orgy of women’s and men’s hats, caps, panamas, scarves, boas and bonnets that is Too-Too. Tony was suitably impressed, as evidenced in his Too-Too Review.
It’s all still true, except now Too-Too is in a bigger, airier spot that’s even closer to the Speakeasy, on 303 East 11th Street near Santee. Their number is still 213.749.3570. Sunny Pak still owns the place but now she only stops in once or twice a week. Her nephew Scott helps run the shop, while Elaine and Laticia are usually there to help you find the perfect tilt to your fabulous new chapeau.
The important thing about Too-Too is the variety of hats available and their rock-bottom wholesale prices even if you’re just buying retail. Tell them Dr. Susan Block sent you, and maybe they’ll give you an even better deal. And if enough of you go, better they’ll give me a better deal. In any case, hats that cost $60 at Nordstrom’s or Macy’s, $120 on Melrose Avenue, and $220 at Neiman’s are $35 or maybe even $22 at Too-Too. Santee Alley itself and other parts of the Fashion District also have great deals on beautiful hats, but they just don’t have the vast selection. Too-Too hats just has too-too many hats, unless you’re a hat fetishist like me, in which case too-too many is not even enough.
The photos accompanying this bloggamy show just a few of the dozens of Too-Too hats in my own collection. And if you JOIN the bloggamy, you’ll be able to see some of these same hats engaging in exxxplicit erotic action! You don’t have to like hats to love these images, snapped by some of the finest erotic photographers in LA. You’ll also be able to see the AWESOME and utterly unique Private Photos that go with all the other bloggamies. So don’t stay out in the cold, JOIN the Bloggamy where it’s warm – and quite hot – inside. Your contribution helps us support the efforts of people like Sally Coxe to save the Make-Love-Not-War Bonobos from extinction.
And please let me know if you know of any great places to get hats online or on the street. I love Too-Too, but I’m always looking for more-more…