My Advice for Eliot Spitzer & Speakeasy News
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This Saturday, March 22, friends and lovers of Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy will come together to launch some of our most potent Weapons of Mass Seduction in celebration of Spring, Easter, Dionysia, Purim and anything else that strikes our vernal fancy. This will be a more intimate gathering than Eros Day, so if you want to join us (and why wouldn’t you?), I suggest you make your reservations now.
Don’t forget to wear your vibrating gloves, which are sure to make you the life of any party, in or outside the Speakeasy. Too late to order them from Shopping Heaven? You’ll be able to get them in our Speakeasy boutique.
Unbelievably Good Vibrations
We’ll have some other hot new items there that you can also get here, including some gorgeous and deliciously functional XTC glass dildos (excellent for G-spot female ejaculation) and my new red, black and blue elkskin leather flogger that looks kind of like a twisted flag.
Flag or Flog?
The theme of 3/22 Bacchanal will be the Art of Sexual Seduction, as exemplified by the Biblical Queen Esther who seduced a king to save her tribe from genocide.
Spitzer’s Only Hope for Salvation
Speaking of powerful political leaders who have been dramatically seduced….
Seeing the likes of former New York Governor and anti-prostitution “Crusader of the Year” Eliot Spitzer caught with his pants down around his ankles was no big shock. Flagrant hypocrisy often lurks just beneath the surface of showy morality, especially when it comes to sex.
It’s aggravating to see war criminals like Bush and Dick blithely continue to wreak havoc from their comfortable offices while johns like Spitzer are lynched by the mob, especially when the whole “Eliot Mess” seems to have been based on Federal wiretapping and bank transaction monitoring that has Big Brother watching us like a Peeping Tom. It’s disheartening to realize that we live in a Bizarro World where a politician can lead the nation into war on false pretenses and be rewarded with a second term in office, but where illicit sex is an impeachable offense.
Nevertheless, Spitzer’s “crime” does bring up some interesting issues regarding sex and money, men and women. Just listen to the chattering sexperts trying vainly to explain why the former governor was an active client of the elite Emperors Club call-girl service. Some declare him spoiled, self-destructive or just plain nuts. Some say “boys will be boys,” and politicians will be politicians. Some cite the “arrogance of power.” The nastiest explanation is Dr. Laura’s sisterly view that it’s all the wife’s fault. Talk about being vicious when someone’s down, and just to sell a few books. Poor Silda Wall Spitzer. Before all the trauma of recent days, she was quite sexy (check out Hothouse Silda), as more than one observer has pointed out. Maybe she should run for office.
The Spitzers in happier times
But here’s the problem with all the hand-wringing analysis: There are as many different reasons why men go to hookers as there are men going to hookers. One thing we do know: It’s as natural as a bonobo female presenting her big pink vulva to the male who just gave her a ripe banana. When are we as a society going to grow up and face the fact that, although sex can be spiritual and emotional, it can also be a commodity for which some people (usually, but not always, males) pay some other people (usually, but not always, females)? It might be “wrong” in certain cases, like cheating is wrong. But should it be illegal? Cheating isn’t illegal. Nor should it be. And what about all the single johns? They aren’t even cheating. They just want to pay to play with a consenting adult. Why should that be a criminal act?
Some say that prostitution should remain illegal because it reduces sex to a business transaction. But many perfectly legal sex acts are business transactions, from employees who sleep with bosses to get promotions, to girls who go out with guys to get dinner, to guys who sleep with women to stay rent-free in their apartments, to golddiggers who simply marry for money. These approaches to sex are just as crass and materialistic as the regular ‘ho who asks for her cash up front, yet they’re not criminal acts.
With this in mind, I have some advice for Eliot Spitzer. Its such sound advice, I think I’ll write him an open letter…
Dear Mr. Spitzer (may I call you Eliot?),
I have a great idea for how you could resurrect your now-dead political career: Admit the hypocrisy of your sex life up until now, and work to decriminalize prostitution in New York and in America.
I know, it sounds outrageous. But you know, in your heart of hearts, as well as deep within your balls, that it’s the right thing to do. And it just might work. Before New York was New York, it was New Amsterdam. Look at what they’re doing in old Amsterdam. When prostitution is decriminalized, crime goes down.
Come on, Eliot, you can do it! Use some of your family millions, your amazing Harvard-trained brain, your now substantial name recognition, your famously high testosterone levels, your legendary drive to win and your deep desire to be one of the Good Guys, to get this ridiculous victimless crime off the books.
If you succeed in “Amsterdamizing” New York and the country, I promise you will become a hero to many. Your current abject humiliation will be seen as a springboard to your greatest calling: the decriminalization of prostitution. You could then become an advocate of sex workers rights and safety, really truly helping some of the women you once patronized.
It would be a brilliant career move, as well as the best moral choice for you, considering your current politically hopeless circumstances.
In the interest of my country, as well as my own promotion (I’m not a hooker, but I am a publicity whore), I would offer my services to you as a sex therapist. No charge.
Sincerely
Susan M. Block, PhD
Of course, I don’t expect the disgraced ex-guv to take me up on this, not anymore than former New Life Church Pastor Ted Haggard took me up on my idea for him to admit he was gay, or at least bisexual, and then become the world’s most successful Christian Evangelical Preacher to gays and the Christians who love them, of which there are many more than you might think. Pastor Ted was another quintessential hypocrite, preaching that homosexual acts were condemned by God even as he was committing such acts with a male hooker, while snorting meth and grinning that big scary grin. But I felt that Pastor Ted was so crazily charismatic and so flamboyantly, well, gay, that I kept hoping he would “repent” by just admitting he was bi (or whatever he wanted to call himself). Then his wife could say she was bi too, and then they could both say being gay or bi was okay with God, and then they could start a massive mega-church for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, trannies and alt sex lovers in Boulder, Colorado. This could have happened. But it didn’t. Instead, Pastor Ted went into “counseling” and shortly thereafter, was pronounced, by his counselor/minister Tim Ralph, to be “completely heterosexual.” And everybody laughed and said “Yeah, sure.”
Spitzers “Kristen”: Ashley Alexandra Dupré is the New Happy Hooker: Can You Handle Her?
So I expect that Spitzer will also continue playing the role of sexual hypocrite that he has played lo, these many years. He will most likely just slink off into “counseling,” and then pronounce himself “healed.” And everybody will laugh and say “Yeah, sure.”
But then again, maybe he’ll have a genuine change of heart. Maybe he won’t go through the typical charade. Maybe he will see the error of his ways. Maybe he’ll recognize that when he went after prostitution “rings” as New York’s attorney general, he was wasting tax payers’ money and hurting people whose only crime was to exchange money for consensual sex. Maybe, he will join the ongoing sexual revolution, and use his formidable skills and resources to help bring about the decriminalization of the world’s oldest profession, then help make it as safe and equitable as it can be.
Then Mrs. Spitzer can run for office. Or write a best-seller. Or do her personal trainer. Or whatever she damn well pleases.
Post-Sex Week at Yale RadioSuzy1 Soirée
We just posted a bunch of new shows in our RadioSuzy1 Archives, the most recent being our Post-Sex Week at Yale RadioSuzy1 Soirée with three special guest Yalies: Scott Barry Kaufman whose lecture on Mating Intelligence we’d attended at Sex Week, actress/producer Kristen Faye Hunter ’07 (making her mainstream big screen debut as “The Crying Girl” in “He’s Just Not That Into You“) and actor/producer Phoenix West ’07, talking about sex, love, life and Hollywood, as well as parents (how did they first talk to you about sex?), politics, war and peace. Also shows on sex and sports, legal and illegal drugs, those wild and crazy primaries, cannabalism, swinging, masturbation, the timely death of fellow Yalie William F. Buckley, Jr. ’50 (along with the none-too-soon “Death of Conservativism“), and lots more Weapons of Mass Discussion!
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03 · 19 · 08 @ 8:28 pm
Did Spitzer’s prostitute pay income tax on her $3000 plus romp with Elliot??
03 · 19 · 08 @ 8:23 pm
hi susan, it is always great fun to read your so true and rightful comments. you were expressing exactly from the bottom of my heart – or should i also say from the bottom of my balls, what i was thinking, too. when this affair came up, i thought maybe there is finally a politician, who has the courage to say: look you rotten bigots, whom i fuck and when i fuck and where i fuck and how i fuck, is not your god-damn (is my god-given) business. screw you, you rotten spy masters and fuck off you stinken, gestapo ersatz. i had a little hope, since spitzer at least had kicked the butts of some of the fraudulent wall street criminals and gangsters. but no, he proved himself the same idiot and caved in like all the other nutless, spineless and gutless cowards from clinton to heart in the past. when do they wake up, these clowns. you can add this little pamphlet from a disappointed observer to your letter, if you want. cheers, edgar
03 · 19 · 08 @ 8:21 pm
Reminds me why legalization of prostitution might not be such a good thing.http://www.counterpunch.org/blader03122008.htmlThe fact is that all prostitution, including Spitzer’s brokering of a high-priced call-girl, is dangerous for several reasons: first, as a population, prostitutes suffer grave victimization and physical harm; second, prostitution degrades the status of all women by affirming the pathology of associating sex with property; finally, prostitution undermines perhaps the most important moment of reckoning in our country’s history – when we established legally that human beings cannot be bought and sold.For many prostitutes, “sex work” follows naturally from childhood sexual exploitation or incest victimization. 8 times out of ten, victims of rape or incest prior to engaging in prostitution. Prostituted women are routinely raped. Their life expectancies are shorter than average. They represent 15% of the women for whom suicide attempts result in hospitalization. Most prostitutes experience physical violence. They come from poverty and remain in poverty as prostitutes. This is the norm to which there are few exceptions.
03 · 19 · 08 @ 8:20 pm
Suzy, Nice piece on Spitzer. Excellent analysis. And, with these other two dramas on the east coast, it’s a perfect storm. On Sex, the USA seems stuck somewhere between Amsterdam and Riyadh! Guess no one is taking on the New NY guv and his wife, as opposed to Spitzer and McGreevey, since they didn’t pay for it and it was two-person hetero. Finally, a non-issue being treated as a non-issue! Now, if Hillary would just come out and admit to her former relationship with Web Hubbell, maybe we could get over it once and for all. Michael
03 · 19 · 08 @ 8:19 pm
america has suffered under a severe sex hypocrisy for a very long time, with at the same time a most sexually charged environment. in no other country is sex so under wraps but showing it’s little head constantly. ads, talk, tv even in all it’s forms are dick teasers to the extreme, while promising a lot but never delivering. no wonder marriages are fragile, no wonder there is little love lost in this air conditioned nightmare and the poor women who thirst for trust and affection are left in the cold, while hubby jacks off on images(or like spitzer can afford to rent sex). on top of all this misery one has women like dworkin, who blame men for domination, but have no clue about the sweetness of men if loved and liberated from this very addictive atmosphere.
03 · 19 · 08 @ 8:18 pm
Everyone has pimp or is pimp and not everyone makes the same amount of money as the top money makers in any industry. The problem is the pimp, weather he’s pimping for a clean house and dinner on time and beating his wife when she dosen’t perform or pushing to the criminal edge real-estate people selling mortgages that cause serious damage and violence in homes all over america.We worry about a pimp’s violence yet we don’t worry about all the other violence that humans endure under all kind of pimps.The pimps are everywhere and they sell lot’s more than sex. George is our army’s pimp and his pimps are the oil companies.I know a lot of prostitutes. For most of them they go on to other things like being housewives, real-estate agents, investment bankers etc. Few are left on the street as drug addicts.Cheers,Carlo
03 · 19 · 08 @ 8:17 pm
Response to Gene Glickman: Just because you decriminalize prostitution doesn’t mean you decriminalize violence. On the contrary, it would be easier to stop the violence against the prostitutes if the work they did were legal. Pimps use violence like drug dealers use violence, because they are trafficking in illegal goods and services. If their industries were decriminalized and regulated, they’d be forced to clean up their acts or go into another line of work.
03 · 19 · 08 @ 8:16 pm
Spitzer should work diligently to legalize prostitution. The fake that he is sexually schizophrenic is his issue (and most of the Bush regime, Congress and the religious right). It is incredible that freedom, liberty and justice are sacrificed for political posturing of lying cheating hypocrites who are as horny as the rest of us.If I were to bet, I’d expect him to continue his hypocrisy and doublespeak. Similarly, the media is most likely to focus on whether his wife is hotter than the sex worker and the details of the encounters.It was amusing to see that Sen. David ‘Diaper-man’ Vitter weighed in, stating that their cases were very different. Vitter is out of his diaper and initiating laws, including legislation that passed that restricts reproductive freedom for Native American women. He’s beyond a ‘moral’ hypocrite, opting to remain among the lowest of our species.I want Spitzer to go beyond moving us closer to an actual democracy and freedom-oriented part of the world like Amsterdam. I want him to appear on your show and re-enact his experiences that were worth such an enormous cost. I want him to lick honey off a consensual adult guest. I want him to say that it’s worth a million dollars to give a tongue-bath and worship every orifice.Perhaps the only option for voting for an honest public official is if a candidate says:’we have an open marriage, Kristen comes over for dinner weekly then becomes dessert, and before campaign speeches I love when my spouse tickles my ass with a feather.’Meantime, thank you for a fantastic and sharp response to the Spitzer scandal. Let us continue to expose the ‘moral’ hypocrites. My March 30 show shall be themed: Dating Tips for Holy Repressed Scandalmakers. We may as well have maximum fun in the process.Love,Rev. BookburnRadio VoltaPhiladelphiaReverendBookburn.comYoutube.com/revbookburn
03 · 19 · 08 @ 7:15 pm
Dear Dr. Block:I think you need to demonstrate that prostitution is a “victimless crime.”This might be fairly easy to do if there were no such things as pimps. But, given the fact that pimps are a central part of the sex industry, and that pimps regularly prey on the prostitutes in their stable, you need to demonstrate that there are no victims in the prostitution industry.The fact that some prostitutes seem to be making scads of money is not germane for all those who are just ordinary streetwalkers. In addition, as the younger prostitutes age, they often go down the income ladder. So a prostitute who is now making good money may not always be in that enviable position. And as they slide down the income scale they tend to need to rely increasingly upon pimps, who, also increasingly, tend to dominate over them in abusive ways.Now, if you can make the case for legalization and couple this with elimination of pimps from the industry, you might persuade me….Best,Gene Glickman(I know no prostitutes, so what I wrote is all hearsay. Am I wrong?) gg
03 · 19 · 08 @ 7:14 pm
But, aren’t you concerned that often or sometimes sex worker do not freely give their consent? Maybe this is a philosophical argument, but people like RF Blader and others are saying that abuse, economic necessity and coersion force people into prostitution. In general, the argument goes, sex work is a soul-destroying occupation that many would not choose if they had another option. That may be true, but that also describes many jobs and tasks we routinely perform. Maybe this is why you’d like to see standards of sex worker conditions and safety. Some others say that conditions are not good even where prostitution is legal (Nevada & Amsterdam), and that illegal prostitution continues to account for a big chunk of total prostitution even where it’s legal.I’m interested in your thoughts. Another way of looking at it: Can I pay someone to help me in do something that is physically intimate, but that doesn’t raise the same (moral?) hackles as sex work? What about massage therapist? I can’t reach that muscle in my back and so I seek relief from a professional.The other thought that occurs to me is Spitzer’s bad judgment. Taking a cue from his apologists (boys will be boys, alpha male), it seems that he could have had free sex with almost any man or women he wanted. But, no, he had to be a hypocrite.Brad DreVista,CA
03 · 19 · 08 @ 7:13 pm
very sensible advice for mr. spitzer.
03 · 19 · 08 @ 7:13 pm
And if Spitzer succeeded in getting the repressive laws off the books, maybe he could lead the way by hanging out a shingle on 5th Avenue and sitting in the window being charismatic. He’ll be needing a job, anyway.
03 · 17 · 08 @ 7:12 pm
Santo cielo, you Americans and Brits are still caught up with these never ending sex scandels. Poor Spitzer and his lovely wife. He seemed to be a good governor and you chase him out because he went to bed with some hookers. I’ll never understand this warped mentality.Speaking of hookers, sex and gloves, I love the vibrating gloves you gave me in New Haven. I’ve already tried them with one of my hookers (just kidding), my ladies and she loves them as I do. Keep up the good work and see you very soon.Love, Carlo Filangieri
03 · 17 · 08 @ 7:11 pm
Your a cool lady and I’ve always had respect for what you do. I’m soon approaching the half century mark and love that I’ve just gotten hornier with age. I’m into sexual self discovery, having hot, wet and sexy times. Would love to chat with you sometime. I’m in Westand and I’d love to cum to the loft next Saturday…
03 · 17 · 08 @ 7:11 pm
The gloves arrived 2 days ago and I am very pleased with them and will be shopping on your website a lot more. Oh my girl friend wanted to extend her thanx too, but she is currently in a glove induced sleep. >=) I love your website and your show keep up the good work Doc.
03 · 17 · 08 @ 7:10 pm
Dr. Block,I wanted to share with you something utterly hilarious about your recently departed, fellow Yalie, William F. Buckley. My friend Mike (from Penn) is one of the three genuinely smart people I knew in college. He is also the most knowledgeable person about porn that I’ve ever met… though that may not be saying much. Anyway, the guy can turn ANY conversation around to porn. I kid you not. Give him a topic. He can discuss it reasonably intelligently (he went to grad school for philosophy before becoming a lawyer) and find how it’s relevant to Ron Jeremy or gangbangs. So, he sent me an e-mail recently in which he did just that: changed a mundane topic (in this case, the future of computers) into porn. So, I decided to issue him a challenge: turn the subject of William F. Buckley’s death into porn.Here’s his response: “Okay, how’s this? when I break into porn, my stage name will be “William F Suckme” and my signature move will be to lick my lip (like he always used to do on Firing Line) and announce, with a clenched jaw and a high Yalie voice, “Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah . . . . I’m cumming””Genius… Incidentally his sister (Mike’s sister not Buckley’s) went to Yale. Maybe she was at Sex Week too. If a blonde told you about how she scored really well on her LSAT because her brother’s friend tutored her over the phone… that was probably her.
03 · 17 · 08 @ 7:09 pm
The gloves arrived a couple of days before I had to leave to go to Australia and they are amazing. So well worth the wait. Cyn is putting them to very good use while I’m gone and for the few days before I left they were like an awakening of sensations. An exciting and relaxing sensation that made sex fun and new. Unbelievable. Additionally, while you’d think just by looking at them that they’d be cumbersome and un-sexy looking – actually on Cyn they look really sexy – she looks like a sexy robot made for fucking. I may get another pair as a present. I may even have a vibrating glove party!Sorry we couldn’t make it to the event the other week – I didn’t get back from my travels until the next day. It has just been crazy. But it promises to slow down now and yes, Rachel Kramer-Bussel would love to do the show – I’ll email you the date she is in town in May and hopefully we can make it work.And I’ll try downloading the Sex Heals show to keep me company downunder!Much love, lust and vibrating fingers …Stan