LA Weekly People and RadioSuzy1 Bonobos
If you subscribe, you know that we are now doing live Internet radio shows every night on RadioSuzy1, or almost every night that we’re here at the studio, at least until this disastrous war ends, from around 10:30 pm (PT) to midnight (though sometimes we go ’til 12:30). So tune in – it’s free! And give me a call at 1.866.289.7068 or 213.749.1330 and talk with me and my guests about sex, love, life, death, war, peace, politics, perversion, anything! It’s a brand new show, so we’re easy.
Why do radio when we’re already doing such amazing TV shows on RadioSuzy1TV? Because you can’t have a really deep conversation on television, even Internet television. TV is an audio-visual medium with an emphasis on visual. The intensity of the video trumps the audio almost every time. As our televized shows and celebrations get more and more wild and bacchanalian (which is, all-in-all a wonderful thing), it gets more difficult to just talk to a guest, let alone a caller. I love the wild bacchanalian shows with their awe-inspiring experiences of collective ecstasy. But I also feel the need to have deep, intimate, intellectual or emotional conversations. And our audience feels the need to hear them.
This is where talk radio comes in. Not that mainstream talk radio is very intellectual or intimate these days. Most of it is just people yelling at each other. Ours is a different kind of talk radio, as you will discover when you listen. We just started doing shows last week, and we’ve already done some very cool little shows, mostly featuring Speakeasy friends, like Annie Body and Tae Ellis talking about sex, life and squirting, JJ describing her semi-secret love affair with KLSX-97.1 FM radio personality Tom Leykis, as well as interviews with Sara Sioux, Wallace Jackson and Saddam’s Italian decoy manufacturer Mario Fachatosta (whom longtime listeners remember from my radio shows on KFOX-93.5 FM during Gulf War I).
One of our more intriguing outside guests this week was Michelle Wilde, who calls herself “The Pass Around Girl.” Here is a woman that many would call a classic nymphomaniac. She calls herself a recovering sex addict. I call her a sexual seeker. She started out in life as a good Catholic girl in a conservative Colorado family, getting straight A’s in school and going to Church three times a week, learning that any kind of sex outside of married monogamous intercourse for procreation only (with the lights out!) was going to send her straight to hell, not to mention piss off her mom.
Michelle lapped up this anti-sex message like her mother’s milk, believing it with all her heart and blessed little soul as the God-given truth. However, Michelle was a very sexual girl, as well as very sexy and not very saavy about self-control, so before you could say “graduation,” Michelle was having just about every kind of sex BUT the Church-approved kind, always doing it in secret and lying about it to her other lovers, including eventually her husbands and her wife. That’s right, Michelle, like Nina Hartley in the 1990s, eventually got married to a man and a woman (the woman being none other than the notorious Bisexual Britni). Interestingly, both husband and wife were and still are swingers and didn’t mind if Michelle had multiple lovers. The problem was that Michelle felt compelled by her upbringing to lie about all the sex she was having. She felt that she shouldn’t have extra-marital sex, but she had to have extra-marital sex, and that made her (in the eyes of the Church and other Authorities Who Know) a Bad Girl.
Michelle, being something of an over-achiever, felt that if she was indeed a Bad Girl, then she was going to be a Really Bad Girl. She had sex with married co-workers while she was a Colorado Sheriff’s deputy. She created devastating dramas between her lovers and their lovers. Her first husband committed suicide, driving his motorcycle into a truck after leaving a farewell note that blamed his cheating wife Michelle for his death. When Michelle eventually remarried, to both a husband and a wife, and had children, she still didn’t stop cheating and creating tumultuous, sometimes violent scenes. She tried to get into sex addicts’ groups that refused to take her. Then her husband had enough of her dishonesty. He ended their marriage and took full custody of their children. Now it was Michelle that tried to commit suicide. Fortunately she didn’t succeed.
I say “fortunately,” though I do believe that people and other animals have the right to take their own lives. But I think it’s fortunate that we still have Michelle with us. I found her to be open, bright, creative and a great interview, brimming with personal tales of “lawless passion,” the phrase Nathaniel Hawthorne used in “The Scarlet Letter” to describes Hester Prynn’s scandalous extramarital affair in a Puritan community. And Michelle’s body has become a strange work of art, a somewhat bizarre, rather playful, unapologetic Declaration of Slut Pride.
See, about a year ago, when Michelle was feeling quite depressed about herself and her out-of-control sexuality, she got an idea. She would go “abstinent.” I don’t normally recomment abstinence to people, even sex addicts. But with Michelle, this may have been a good idea, especially since it was her idea. When she stopped having sex with partners, Michelle decided to channel her erotic energy into the design and creation of a series of sexually explicit, rather shocking phrases appearing like headlines in the form of tattoos all over her torso. Her body became a canvas for her erotic expression. And Michelle’s erotic expression is not subtle. Let’s see if I can describe a few of the more prominent exclamations that tattoo the body of this strictly raised Catholic girl…
In a semi-circle over her right nipple is the revelation “I Swallow Cum.” Over the left nipple is “I Eat Pussy.” Over her right buttock, it says “Fuck My Whore Pussy.” Over the left is “Fuck My Whore Ass.” Over her belly buttom is “Cum In Me.” Over her butt crack is “Cum Slutt,” and down her spine is “I FUCK.” Her pride and joy seems to be over her vulva where it reads “For Deposit Only” over a large red “A” for Adulteress, Hawthorne’s “Scarlet Letter.” On the right outer labia lip is the word “SLUT” and on the left is “FUCK.” There are a few more, plus some pictures of women kissing, but you get the idea. On Michelle, it actually looks better than it sounds, especially if you know the story behind the words. Of course, many guys love Michelle’s tattoos without even knowing her story, until she turns them down for sex. At that point, they might call her nastier names than she’s got tattooed on her body.
But for the most part, Michelle is happy showing her interestingly tattooed self off to whoever is interested. She did most of our radio interview clothed so we couldn’t see any tattoos at all. Then she stripped everything off, as the studio filled with ogling Speakeasy guests. I invited Annie Body to join us, and before you could say “For Deposit Only,” all four fingers of Annie’s hand were inside Michelle’s pussy bank.
This is what I call “Porn Star Networking.” See, Michelle is also trying to channel her natural need for multiple lovers into a career in porn. Of course, with tattoos like hers, she can only play certain kinds of roles. But porn is all about niche marketing these days anyway. Annie and Tai, our other resident porn star, enjoy finding other hot women (not difficult at the Speakeasy) to join them on porn shoots. Anyway, Michelle is back in Colorado now, but we hope to see more of her when she returns to LA. And maybe we’ll talk to her on the phone. Remember, this is radio ~ we can talk to anyone anywhere.
My other guests that night included Michael Donnelly, American environmentalist and my fellow Counterpunch columnist, and Celia Alario, political activist who has worked with Arianna Huffington and Code Pink, turned spiritual seeker. We talked about endangered species, the war, Alexander Cockburn, Jeffrey St. Clair, Spotted Owls, hanging out naked in Michael’s hot springs and how to start grassroots environmental movements. Celia talked about being burned out on politics lately. I’m sorry to hear that because we need more sexy women like in politics, but I do understand how she feels. I asked her how she liked to have orgasms and she smiled and said close to nature, out on a rock in the wilderness with the wind blowing through her hair and her legs.
We also took a few calls, most notably from a lively young couple in Highland Park named Ralph and Rita. They asked about female ejaculation, so Annie, Michelle, Tae and I all gave our tips and experiences with the Holy Water of Womanhood. Rita and Ralph called back on the show last night, talked about swinging, anal sex, swallowing spunk and coming to the Speakeasy. They seem to be well on their way to becoming characters in this Commedia Erotica we call Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy.
Earlier that evening, Steven Mikulan from the LA Weekly came over to interview me for the Weekly’s 2007 PEOPLE issue. Here’s what AAN said about it: “Who makes the cut in L.A. WEEKLY’S People Issue? The 268-page, perfect-bound edition is a collection of the wildly diverse personalities who give Los Angeles its character…from the comedian destined for the Walk of Fame to the guy who shines the Hollywood Boulevard stars on his hands and knees.” So, will “Dr. Susan Block” be emblazoned on a Hollywood Blvd. star, or will I be on my “hands and knees” scrubbing (or maybe barfing on) those stars some day? Only time will tell. But I think Steven did a very good interview, despite the beauteous distraction of a very scantily clad Annie Body draped upon the bar where we were talking. The LA Weekly sponsored my first radio show (on KIEV AM), and now here I am, a People person, doing another radio show here at the Speakeasy with the Bonobo Gang.
Speaking of bonobos, my dear friend Sally Coxe’s group the Bonobo Conservation Initiative is producing an exciting benefit concert for the “Make Love, Not War” bonobo chimpanzees on March 10 at the Jivamukti Yoga School in New York City. Sally will be there talking about bonobo conservation action in the Congo, along with a bunch of fantastic drummers and other musicians, including Wynne Paris and Groovananda and Tabla Girl.
So, if you’re in or around New York, go to this benefit concert! Bonobos need help now! Distinguished by their peaceful, cooperative society, remarkable intelligence, loving nature and high level of sexual activitiy, bonobos are highly endangered in their rainforest home in the Democratic Republic of Congo. This benefit aims to raise awareness and support for the Bonobo Conservation Initiative’s efforts to protect the species and its habitat in the world’s second largest rainforest, the Congo Basin. Let’s support the bonobos, follow the Bonobo Way and stop acting like baboons.