So the War on Christmas has been shelved with the Santa hats, at least for another year, but it is still Hannukkah. Hannukkah is really a minor holiday, but its proximity to Christmas makes it a major player. Jewish kids who wouldn’t know Yom Kippur from kippered salmon know all about Hannukkah.
Not that anyone knows how to spell it, at least not with the English alphabet. It can be Chanukah or Hanuka. Or as H and I like to call it: Ha-nookie. After all, Hebrew tradition says it’s a mitzvah (good deed) for married couples to have a little nookie on a holiday. It’s “Kosher Sex.” One reason why Orthodox Jews have so many kids is that there are so many Jewish holidays.
So last night’s Ha-nookie not only gave us pleasure, but made us feel we were doing a good deed. Of course, we were also doing a bad deed, according to Orthodox Judaism, since it now happens to be *that time of month* for me, when I get a visit from my Aunt Ruby. This is another reason why Orthodox families are so big; because the women aren’t even allowed to touch their husbands when they’re menstruating or for a week afterwards. So the presence of Aunt Ruby cancels out the mitzvah of Holiday Sex.
Its during times like this that my essential agnosticism kicks in, and I recall that none of us have any idea what God, the Goddess or the 8-armed Gila Monster in the Sky really wants, or whether He, She or It even exists, let alone cares, and we just have to do what we think is best for ourselves, our family, friends, fans, humankind and Mother Earth, not necessarily in that order. It certainly doesn’t hurt any of the aforementioned for me to have sex during my period. And sometimes, it makes me feel better. This is one of many times when sex is not for procreation, but for recreation and orgasmic healing. H is no redwinger, but he doesn’t mind a little ketchup on his hot dog.
However, this is not a good time for squirting, at least not for me. Deborah says that FE can flow more freely during menstruation, but I’m sorry, that’s just too gross. I have enjoyed wild nasty messy sex during my period, but usually in cheap motels (and I do leave an extra big tip for the maid).
So we had nice neat Ha-nookie. H, marvelous hubby that he is, started off by rubbing my toes with my favorite Natural Body Labs lavender-scented oil. H is the best kind of foot fetishist; he enjoys giving foot massages. I always say that the way to many a woman’s heart (and genitals) is through her feet. Of course, H does like to play with my toes like they’re dolls or puppets. Each toe has a personality. They *talk* to each other; sometimes they kiss or fight. It’s a little strange. But it cracks me up and, in between Toe Talk, H gives the best foot massage on Earth.
Which is perfect foreplay for hot Ha-nookie. I’m not going to give more details; this is bloggamy, not blogporn (at least, not tonight). Suffice it to say that he squirted, and I didn’t. But I did have one of those rich deep rippling orgasms that seem to holler up from a well and then soar through the clouds. Actually, I had two.
Now it’s your turn: Happy Ha-nookie!
P.S. Do a good deed for bloggamy: Buy something through one of these links. For Ha-nookie enthusiasts, I recommend Weimar Love: Hot Sex in Pre-Nazi Berlin. Just like the title says, it’s got plenty of Hot Sex, Evil Nazis, Entrepreneurial Jews, Potent Aphrodisiacs and Vintage Fucking Machines. Plus it was filmed on the third night of Hannukkah and includes a very surreal menorah-lighting in between all the sex and history. Hey, it’s a mitzvah! Amen to that. And Awomen too!