F.D.R. (F*ck Da Rich):

Make KINK Not War

by Dr. Susan Block.       

Come join Capt’n Max and me on another riveting, rollicking ride into mushroom mindscapes, emo-territories and body parts unknown through the Tunnel of Love.

But after an intensive Februa fortnight of the High Holidays of Love, Love, Love, we’re ready for a little kink. 

Kink is in the air, or maybe I’m just feeling kinky, having just released “Kink: Another Guide for the Perplexed (with apologies to Maimonides).” This show features an excerpt, but you really should read the whole Kink Manifesto.

We the People of the world really should make kink, not war.

Pretty please?

Speaking of war, are we on the verge of a big one? A little one? Something between a military exercise and total nuclear annihilation?

I don’t know about you, but I’m in a state of Ukraine confusion. You’d think I’d have a feel for Ukraine since my great grandfather was from Kiev, Ukraine, but I doubt he had much of a feel for Ukraine either, which is why he left.

Between Putin, Biden, neo-Nazis in Ukraine, neo-Romanovs in Russia and NATO, there are no heroes in this mess. Though I feel for Volodymyr Zelensky, a comedian who became president and seems to want peace, but also seems out of place.

Zelensky reminds me a little of Zelig in the Woody Allen movie of the same name. As I muse about whether or not I can utter that long-familiar, but now-taboo name “Woody Allen,” without getting arrested, or at least canceled, I’m greeted with several comments from listeners who proclaim their love for Zelig.

So much of life is confusing these days. Have we graduated from pandemic to endemic? Are we canceling kissing? Are we marching off to war?

All I know is I am against war and for love. And this week, I’m for kink.

In that spirit, check out our exciting bacchanalian throwback  Drop Bras Not Bombs (2013) featuring the fabulous Amor Hilton (who called in to last Saturday’s “Lupercalian Bonobo Valentine”) and several other hot ladies dropping their bras, along with Moe the Monster dropping his drawers… and more!

We also discuss some of the “wars” at home, including the war on the homeless. Max lays into LA County Sheriff Alex Villanueva, and we bring you more or less up to date on our Arcadia situation, including Arcadia history as a WWII detention camp and the new revelation of the City Gangster/Inspectors’ incriminating emails to each other about how to build a fraudulent “case” against Bonoboville.

Then there’s Tucker Carlson’s pathetic but poisonous sexual crush on AOC; how to talk dirty with your girlfriend if she asks you to; the kinky fantasy of Jesus having sex with nuns; my 2022 State of the Sexual Union address; why I married a man whose mother never did the dishes; how the Earn It act sucks worse than SESTA/FOSTA; how Max’s multi-colored, paisley, flower-powered shirt makes me feel like I’m on ‘shrooms… and much more!

Just as we reach our station destination, “Most Bonobo-Sexy Couple” 2021 SUZY award winners, Daniele Watts and Chef BeLive, call in to gush cacaphonic but symphonic and super-psychedelic soundwaves of love—what a trip!

There are too many aspects of this fascinating, funny, sexy, lefty show to describe, so if you’re ready to take the trip, read the transcript, or listen to the show above or below with your lights down low to a nice erotic glow….

Can’t Watch or Listen to the Show Right Now? Read the Transcript to “Make KINK Not War” (or follow along as you listen)

MAX

We are on the air. Hi there, we’re on the air. My name is Max. And you know a few weeks ago, somebody told me I wasn’t very flashy as a person. So what I did is I went and bought this shirt. So this shirt now is flashy. OK, tonight we’re going to talk about various things. Dr. Suzy is going to talk about some stuff. I’m going to start out with just a couple of things. You know who Alex Villanueva is, right? He’s the sheriff of Los Angeles County. He came in as a sort of progressive, but he’s no progressive. The sheriff has gangs and there’s all kinds of problems. Sometimes I see them just down the street in their cars yapping away and sleeping, I’m talking for hours at a time. So do sign the petition to recall him or don’t worry about that and wait for the election time ’cause the election time is coming up and it’s time to get rid of this guy.

Now, on another note, we are broadcasting from beautiful Arcadia, CA. Mark Takano, the congressman wanted to remind us of something: That 80 years ago. Asian Americans were removed forcibly from their homes and sent to camps. One of those camps was right here in Arcadia. And I’ve got my own problems with Arcadia, and we’ll talk about those some more, but just know Arcadia is 59.2% Asian, 32.3 white, 4% Pacific Islanders, and 2.8% other races.  So besides not being able to, or at least according to Arcadia, the key Arcadia gangsters there insist we’re not supposed to podcast from here. In fact, we need a license to podcast from here. But the fact is, we don’t need a license to podcasts from here. And if you’re a podcaster I would be very nervous that a city is trying to license a podcast.  OK, so I think I’m going to turn this over to Dr. Suzy. You go ahead.

 

Dr. SUZY

Hi Capt’n Max! Welcome to FDR. I guess I’m welcoming myself because you’re already on The Love Train. Oh, and obviously Valentine’s Day is over if you’re tuned in live and it was a great Lupercalia, World Bonobo Day, Galentine’s day all filled with love. Love, love brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. And after all that love, I’m ready for a little kink.

I think, actually I am going to talk about kink tonight because I have come out with my great kink manifesto, but I first want to acknowledge others who are tuned in tonight to FDR, which stands for Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who was a great president. However, he had some faults, as we all do, and one of his major faults was building those Japanese internment camps during World War II. One was in Arcadia. Our beautiful village of Arcadia, Arcadia that means paradise. Can you imagine that you’re a Japanese-American citizen and you are forced to leave your home and move into a place called Paradise that is almost a concentration camp but not quite not as bad as Auschwitz, where it said “Work Makes One Free.”

But yeah, it must have been pretty confusing and disturbing and traumatic to go to a place called Arcadia that separates you from your family and your home and treats you like a second-class citizen or fourth-class I guess.

Anyway, we’re excited to be here in Arcadia outside of a former internment camp although there are rules here in Arcadia!  I don’t mean to insult anybody’d accent, so I’m not going to do my stupid accents, but they come so naturally I never understand the people that say it’s politically incorrect to do these accents ’cause they just come out.

 

MAX

Can I just say one thing?

I noticed when I was looking at who lives here. There’s very very few minorities.

 

Dr. SUZY

In Arcadia.

 

MAX

Yeah, there’s like almost no Black people.

 

Dr. SUZY

I thought there was a large Chinese population.

 

MAX

There is a lot, but they’re no, they’re a majority here in Arcadia.

 

Dr. SUZY

That’s the main minority here. It is a little Chinatown.

 

MAX

Yeah, right? But African Americans and other off kind of off color.

 

Dr. SUZY

Ooh and of course, the Bonoboville staff is quite diverse in its colors. We’re multi-colored and pansexual, so there it is.

 

MAX

Though quite diverse, yes yes yes. That’s right. My shirt too is multi colored.

 

Dr. SUZY

It’s very flashy, very nice. It reminds me of hippies on acid or mushrooms. Speaking of which, Daniele Watts is on Facebook writing notes. Wow, lots of notes… “on Star train dropping in Oscar brains the clown, or all deranged and I ate leaves a flower saying Yep I knew it.” She sounds like she’s tripping on whatever’s on your shirt, right?

 

MAX

She is likes us.

 

Dr. SUZY

She’s high on your shirt so.

 

MAX

Yes, it’s mine.

 

Dr. SUZY

There you go. And then she says “kink.” She is now responding to my kink manifesto that is yet to be delivered well, part of it. It’s very long. Actually it should be a book, but I’m going to deliver a little of it. But Daniele says “kink is my sad sage, wholly and untrained,” “Podiatry stands on me,” “I’m hungry. Say you dug me.” I think she’s being invaded by Allen Ginsberg.

Anyway, Don Pascal, our old friend. Not that he’s old, but he’s been a friend of ours since the 1990s. Although we’ve never actually met him, but we connected with him when we first started broadcasting on the Internet in the 1990s and maybe it was before that through cable TV. He says “Hello all! A very frightened Bonobo tonight.”

 

MAX

Frightened bonobos.

 

Dr. SUZY

Yes, there are a lot of frightened bonobos nowadays. That’s why the name of our show tonight is “Make Kink, Not War.” And we mean that in all senses of the term, we’re hoping there is not a war out there in the land of my great grandfather, The Ukraine. That’s where he came from, Kiev. And we’re hoping there’s not a war. Honestly, I am in a state of Ukraine confusion. I will admit to that. I don’t understand what is going on. Between Putin, Biden and NATO, there do not seem to be any heroes. But I do feel for Volodymyr Zelenskyy, a comedian who became a president. He’s a little like “Zelig,” you know the Woody Allen movie?

Oh, maybe I shouldn’t be mentioning Woody Allen. I could get into trouble, but hey “Zelig” is a masterpiece. Zelenski begins with a Z. So he’s a little bit like that Zelig character. Like what is this actor doing as President? But he’s here and he seems to be for peace, you know in some form and he is an artist who got into this position because of his charisma and that is happening so often all around the world. And after all, what are politicians but artists of the con kind? Con artists and carnival barkers, all of them, some more than others, and so we have this guy there who’s trying to balance out these powers. It’s very crazy. I just think they should disband NATO. NATO was created for stopping the Soviet Union, which doesn’t exist anymore. I’m all for disbanding NATO or repeating our former promise that Ukraine won’t join, basically call Putin’s bluff. If he says Ukraine shouldn’t be in NATO, OK, we don’t need Ukraine in NATO. I don’t think Zelensky does either.

Anyway, I just hope our old man with strong ties to the Military-Industrial Complex, our Uncle Joe, knows what he’s doing. I hope he’s playing a good game here to keep us from having a war. Make Kink, Not War!

Everybody’s kinky. There’s kink in art, in politics, in food, and of course, sex, religion, kink is everywhere. We’ll talk about that more.

Banks Spike, great name, says “Choo Choo.” And Jux Lii is saying “That emoji was weak. I’ll just go with “Hi”” Or high? I have no idea what emoji was weak. So it’s dangerous to read these comments, I tell you. Banks Spike is in Pomona and I guess that’s got something to do with that awful Sheriff Villaneuva. Catnip Biscuit is talking “mushrooms” baby. Yeah, we’re tripping on a Paisley shirt. And Don Pascal agrees with me. He loved that movie “Zelig.” And Jux Lii says he loved “Zelig.” Who wouldn’t love “Zelig,” except people that insist they can never again love a Woody Allen movie? And you have every right not to love or like anything so that’s fine, but we like “Zelig” and thinking about it gives me hope for Zelensky.

None of this makes sense, unless you are with the Military-Industrial Complex, in which it all makes sense because people all over the world in all countries are purchasing bombs, tanks, guns, whatever, and that’s good business for the gun manufacturers. That’s why we say Make Kink, Not War!

And our throwback this week is “Drop Bras, Not Bombs” with Amor and more. That’s Amor Hilton who was on our show last week, and she’s one of the stars of “Drop Bras, Not Bombs!” so you should check it out this awesome throwback on DrSusanBlock.Tv from the days of wild bacchanals in Bonoboville, and by the way the featured image was taken by Jux Lii, as he might recall…

So on we go on the Love Train F.D.R. which as I was saying stands for Franklin Delano Roosevelt our 32nd president, who did some bad stuff, but we like him because he was like a little bit socialist and we want to be more socialist. Democratic Socialists, if that’s what you want to call it. We feel it is necessary. It is imperative, and FDR also stands for what, class?

Nobody knows?

OK, I’ll tell you: “Fuck Da Rich” yeah baby and yeah, we need to fuck da rich in every sense of the word because the rich need to give up some of their cash, you know, and you could say that’s kind of getting fucked, if you will, of your money because the billionaires have too much and look at the crazy thing some of them are doing and saying.

Like “Nastiest Billionaire” SUZY boobie-prize winner Elon Musk, and “Most Obnoxious Billionaire” Bezos, they’re all out of control and meanwhile, the poor are getting poorer. And hey, you rich folks, look at it this way: It’s better to be fucked than eaten, like some say they want to do to the rich.

 So you rich, you should pay some taxes at the very least. We’re not impressed by your giving to charity, since most of your favorite charities are run by you. I am kind of impressed with Bezos’s ex. She is giving away her money real good. I like her.

Jux Lii says “”Zelig” ties with “Bananas” for best woody.” I don’t know about that. But “Best Woody,” well, that’s a nice double entendre, and I’m sure that Mr. Allen’s parents thought of that when they named him.

So Captain Max what is happening in Arcadia?

 

MAX

What is happening in Arcadia? Well Arcadia would like to uh, make us get a license for our podcast so that we could podcast, but I don’t think I. I mean, they have this big law firm and stuff, but I don’t think they actually know what they’re doing.

 

Dr. SUZY

Everybody does a podcast.

 

MAX

There’s a podcast, in fact, there are podcasts all around this block here that are happening in homes all over Arcadia, and we have a actually a City Council that should be removed one by one and I’m going to try and find a new candidate and to run against these people because they are from another time they have been on this board for years and years and years.

 

Dr. SUZY

Yes, we heard that from another citizen of Arcadia, who was very irate about a whole other issue regarding the fact that they hadn’t replaced another Council member and that he felt that they were stalling because of their insider attitudes. So we got some corruption going on. We got a kangaroo court. So, what’s in your pouch, Kangaroo Courtier Tom Beck? I can see you’ve got a pouch under that shirt, so I’m wondering what’s in it? I don’t mean to body-shame anybody.

 

MAX

You know what? And I at first I wasn’t thinking, but as I started to and there’s been rumors of that, there’s a lot of racism here.

 

Dr. SUZY

I think so, and we are very diverse.

 

MAX

In Arcadia. And we’re very diverse. We look a little different. We dress a little different. We speak a little different and we talk about things a little differently.

 

Dr. SUZY

They like to sell their houses to other millionaires who buy these McMansions and don’t even live in them and they like to sell their businesses to CVS and other corporations.

 

MAX

Oh yeah, big corporations here. They just built this- I forget the name of this hotel. It is the ugliest hotel that I have ever seen. And I’m not sure whether it’s a Hilton or some kind of…Maybe somebody can look that up for me? The new hotel in Arcadia. It’s awful and the mansions are cookie cutter mansions, meaning.

 

Dr. SUZY

McMansions. No front yard, no back yards.

 

MAX

No backyard, no side yard, and it’s sort of a prison behind it. There’s gates. They all look the same, sure. All look the same. It looks like the same architect.

 

Dr. SUZY

They’re investments, they’re not really homes.

 

MAX

Ah, their investments. I see I see. That’s right. So in the meantime, in the meantime, these guys here at City Hall built themselves a brand new City Hall that cost millions and millions and millions of dollars, that’s what they did. And they pay themselves very very well, and when they came to raid us, they have like 60 some odd people, cops in the Arcadia Police Department. Uh, nine or ten of them were here. I don’t know what percentage of that is. But that’s a large percentage out of 60, some odd.

 

Dr. SUZY

Well, they’ve got nothing else to do because-

 

MAX

Ah yes.

 

Dr. SUZY

They’re certainly not making sure that the traffic runs smoothly and the drunk drivers stay off the road.

 

MAX

All these-

 

Dr. SUZY

Yeah, we saw a big drunk driving accident right outside of Bonoboville.

 

MAX

Died at our doorsteps, in essence, you know so and yeah, and speeding and noise. These are the Ferraris and you know all these young kids and so forth. But anyway.

 

Dr. SUZY

So our research department has determined that the name of the new hotel you were referring to is the Le Meridien Hotel.

 

MAX

Yes, yes. Ah, the Meridien. What an awful looking hotel on the middle of nothing. And then they have a statue of this woman who I forgot what she did. I haven’t seen the statue. I want to go look at it to sort of appraise whether it’s a legitimate art or just you know uh, terra cotta kinda backyard kind of stuff. The Meridien wow. Have you seen that hotel?

 

Dr. SUZY

Ooh I haven’t.

 

MAX

Huh, it looks awful, looks awful.

 

Dr. SUZY

I have spared myself that atrocity.

OK, so we have a long comment from Keith Turner from Instagram. “We the people need to dethrone our political parties and interview each member, restructuring with equality, kind of like the juror panel in court.” Actually this is a Facebook comment. Somebody called “WTF TV” says hi on Instagram. So that was the Instagram anyway. Back to Keith yeah baby. “So we pick our reps from different backgrounds. Everybody who is a U.S. citizen gets a possible chance and swear to an oath while totally butt naked.”

I’m with you, I’m butt naked right now. That’s why you can’t see me on camera actually. Since I’m butt naked, I can’t go on because I would be censored because I have been censored on YouTube, on Facebook and Instagram, but mostly YouTube, for much less much, much less, for nothing for being totally dressed but perhaps being “suggestive.” So every time I like lick my lips or play with my hair, I wonder if I’m going to be censored because I’m being suggestive. So now tonight I feel like I want to just relax and be totally butt naked. So I can’t be on camera.

 

MAX

I’m butt naked too under my underwear.

 

Dr. SUZY

And that Paisley shirt. Well, it’s not just Paisley, there’s flowers.

 

MAX

No no.

 

Dr. SUZY

It’s a whole acid trip as we said.

 

MAX

It’s a hold acid trick.

 

 Dr. SUZY

“Mushrooms” says Catnip Biscuit. She’s hot. She was a great guest on the show. She was on Instagram saying she liked our mushrooms and honestly watching her do hula hoop on DrSuzy.Tv in the light, it just looked like a mushroom trip. Woo beautiful.

Back to Keith Turner. This is an interesting thing I’m not supposed to take quite seriously, I guess because of the butt naked part. But at the same time, I’m into it for getting rid of the corruption. How do we do get rid of corruption? Brothers and sisters, that’s what it’s all about. The corruption really, really set in with Citizens United, though it’s always been there. It’s a part of the capitalist human condition, maybe with just the way we bribe each other. And in a way, there’s something nice about that, like you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. Mmmm.

Bonobos do that. Everybody does that. It’s not even just human to do that. It’s animal. It’s just that when you are in a power position, there have to be checks and balances to prevent you from just becoming a fascist which you could become, even if you’re a very nice person and just doing favors for your friends. So yeah, Keith, I’m kind of with you here with this restructuring.

 

MAX

Can I add something of course?

So Luzer, our friend, on our behalf, subpoenaed basically under the Freedom of Information Act conversations between some of these folks over at the administration of the city and one of the things that several things came up, but one of the most important things came up is the conversation between Vanessa and what is the other woman’s name?

 

Dr. SUZY

Amber.

 

MAX

Amber oh, Amber, Amber, right, and the conversation is going on. And Vanessa is saying, “Amber, I don’t know if we can get them for living there.”

 

Dr. SUZY

Really, I have to read this wow.

 

MAX

Oh yeah, “I don’t know if we can get them for living there.”

 

Dr. SUZY

Right, well, I don’t know either because we don’t live here.

 

MAX

Well and they tried different things.

 

Dr. SUZY

We just sleep here sometimes.

 

MAX

Yeah, we can right?

 

Dr. SUZY

We live in our motorhome.

 

MAX

We sleep here and we can and we can sleep here right right?

 

Dr. SUZY

We are nomads.

 

MAX

And it’s not a permanent residence, so to speak.

 

Dr. SUZY

And people are allowed to sleep in their workplaces.

 

MAX

That’s correct, I think, even though you have a rule that says that that rule is counter human. OK, I think that humans can sleep anywhere. In fact, I know ’cause I’ve seen them sleep on the street. I’ve seen them sleep on buses. They actually sleep at the Police Department.

 

Dr. SUZY

But you know they use that idea of you can’t sleep here selectively, such as with all the homeless people. And what an inhumane, immoral, disgusting sweep of the homeless they did right before that orgy of faux violence they call the Super Bowl right before Valentine’s Day. It was like a fight between love, banging and head-banging. At least it’s not like war with bombing, but still…Football is fake war. I don’t know. I have mixed feelings about it. It’s OK. I like watching the guys’ asses actually. And I like watching the halftime. I thought the halftime was very good, but I just didn’t like the sweep. I don’t know if Villaneuva was involved in that or are fine politicians here in LA, but it was very inhumane. And kudos to Goddess Soma Snakeoil. She is out there helping just all kinds of homeless people and sex workers and the downtrodden.

By the way, she calls them houseless, and I do like that word, too, because these people are houseless, because they might have a home where the heart is.

 

MAX

You don’t have a house.

 

Dr. SUZY

You know they might have a home in terms of just a meeting place on the sidewalk with their friends. Or in their mind. A home is a kind of state of mind. But it’s not their house, they don’t have a house, although they are trying to build these tiny houses.

And kudos to that Arcadia politician who we don’t like. See, we give you credit where credit is due and you’re building some tiny houses, and that’s very nice. Her name is April. I forget her last name.

 

MAX

Yeah, April sounds like an Italian name, I forget what it is. By the way, she lists her home address as her office. I, I hope she hopes she’s not sleeping there, you know, yeah, right yeah.

 

Dr. SUZY

Cool, lady, cool… Sister April thought she got me when I said, “oh we parked here once or twice or 70 times and slept in the RV.”

 

MAX

Which is our legitimate right.

 

 Dr. SUZY

“Ah hah,” she said, “You slept on the property!”

 

MAX

Ha ha ha ha ha.

 

Dr. SUZY

Your panties are showing.

 

MAX

So one of the big reasons that we have this tremendous, terrible homelessness besides capitalism is codes city codes. There are thousands and thousands and thousands of square feet of empty buildings. Empty buildings that you don’t have to build little tiny houses. That could be converted just by the stroke of a pen and provide thousands of sleeping areas and places for homeless people.

 

Dr. SUZY

April Verlato is her name. We’ve got a good research department going tonight.

 

MAX

Oh yeah, no, hey.

 

Dr. SUZY

Kudos to the Bonoboville researchers.

 

MAX

That’s because we’re suing them, and so we’re etting we’re getting all the little information about these people, their their bank accounts.

 

Dr. SUZY

Right? You probably looked up her name on our website. ’cause we’ve already got her on there, we just forgot her name for a minute, but it’s April Verlato.

 

MAX

By the way, April and all you guys over there at the Kangaroo court, at one point they were trying to put us into an industrial building because we talk about sex.

 

Dr. SUZY

Right and then they said no no, it’s got nothing to do with sex. It’s got to do with the living part, or maybe just sleeping in your RV in the parking lot.

 

MAX

But I understand. Almost every corner in Arcadia has a massage parlor. That is an adult business.

 

Dr. SUZY

But they don’t fall asleep there.

 

MAX

There’s some happy endings.

 

Dr. SUZY

Yeah, people always fall asleep at their happy ending, at least for a few minutes.

 

MAX

And there is, there’s something else too. I’ve gone into a couple of them just to check it out as a newsman. Some of the massage therapists don’t speak a lot of English at all.

 

Dr. SUZY

That indicates to me that here in Arcadia, besides our “nuisance,” there’s trafficking. Well probably. And it’s wrong, horribly wrong. Terribly wrong. Trafficking and forced labor of all kinds, whether it’s in sex, massage or McDonald’s. It’s wrong and that lame SESTA/FOSTA law has been proven to be totally ineffective when it comes to combating sex trafficking. It is only effective at being a pain in the ass to sex workers and censoring everybody else. Just censoring everybody who wants to even talk about sex on the Internet.

Now we have a new law that’s coming up called the Earn It Act that is supposedly. Even worse than SESTA/FOSTA because hey, if something broke, why not break it some more? So that’s what they’re doing there in Congress. And it’s by the way, a bipartisan effort, as all anti sex legislation seems to be.

Everybody agrees on paying billions of dollars for war. They all support the military industrial complex, the biggest budget the Pentagon has ever had more than they even asked for. More than Trump gave them, more than anyone has given them. That’s what both parties just freely gave the Military, but we don’t have enough money for Build Back Better and we seem to also have bipartisanship for anti-sex laws like SESTA/FOSTA and like the Earn It Act. Hopefully not too much bipartisanship, I don’t know. Don’t vote for it. Please you guys, brothers and sisters in Congress. Don’t don’t. Don’t be such a Goody Two-Shoes. It doesn’t work. It really doesn’t work. And besides, it’s good to release your inner Bonobo, you’ll enjoy yourself.

Keith Turner says “I did research on this,” he says “Right on.”

 “Also, California has tons of money for nonprofit and community organizations to build shelters and transitional homes. Look it up, they have money to give, just need people to make happen.”

Well yeah, make it happen. Make it happen Keith. Make it happen. Everybody let’s all make it happen. Spread the word. Spread the word. We got to take care of each other. Fuck Da Rich, we got to take care of the human community, as well as the Bonobo community.

 

MAX

And we have to remove some of these people ’cause now  frankly, you asked me, well, they’ve pissed me off. They just pissed me off. I might have pissed them off, but they pissed me off.

 

Dr. SUZY

Uh oh.  I don’t like to piss you off. I hate to piss off Capt’n Max. You know how I try to avoid that. I speak my mind about just about anything except I don’t like to piss off Capt’n Max, so I wouldn’t want to be those Captain Kangaroos in the Arcadia Kangaroo Court who are hiding something in their pouches, because they are pissing off Capt’n Max.

 

MAX

Yeah, why don’t you ask, you know, some folks in Los Angeles about that, including the city attorney. I like our government actually, a lot of people say the government sucks. It’s really not the government that sucks. What sucks is the people that are running the government. Those are the people that have to be removed.

 

Dr. SUZY

And certain aspects of the government, like the Citizens United Law that was passed is now an aspect of government, so therefore money drives the election.

 

MAX

Right.

 

Dr. SUZY

Sex should drive the elections. We should vote for the sexiest candidate, right? Tucker Carlson thinks so. He can’t stop obsessing over AOC. I think it’s so cute, except it’s really toxic and disgusting, but Tucker’s like a high school student mooning over the cheerleader who rejects him, so he tries to call her nasty names, calling her a “slut” basically.

And yet he’s the one that looks so pathetic. But it’s really toxic because there are a lot of guys out there that are also turned on by AOC and they’re hearing what Tucker is saying, and they could hurt her. Though the odds are they probably won’t hurt her, and maybe she has Secret Service protection. But they will hurt ladies like her. And they ARE hurting ladies like her.

 

MAX

Tucker Carlson. Is that that idiot on Fox News?

 

Dr. SUZY

That’s one of the idiots on Fox News, yes.

 

MAX

How many idiots do they have on Fox?

 

Dr. SUZY

How many idiots do they have on Fox? Many.

 

MAX

How many? 11?

 

Dr. SUZY

11 is the whole kangaroo court of idiots that are just there for Rupert Murdoch. He’s the chief kangaroo in that court.

 

MAX

That are anti women. They are anti-freedom.

 

Dr. SUZY

Well, they like hot women, blondes that are basically racist bitches that are misogynist themselves. A woman can be against her fellow women, as a black person can be against their fellow black people, as a Jew – and I am speaking from Jewishness – well, you’ve got the Capo. And I am speaking from Jewishness. The guy who turns in their fellow whatevers to the executioner so that he can live another day. Or maybe make a buck, take a bribe, a little corruption for the Capo’s family, he’s just trying to take care of his family. You know, I think family is a euphemism for me me me me me sometimes.  I think when you guys say “I’m just trying to take care of my family,” you’re just trying to take care of yourself. You’re hiding behind your family. Anyway, that’s just my perception from the mushrooms.

I love you families, especially the ones with all the guns posed around the Christmas trees, yeah nice shot, Senator Massie.

 

MAX

So that does, does that mean, Dr. Suzy, that I can call myself a “WOP” because I’m Italian?

 

Dr. SUZY

I’m not going there.

 

MAX

Well, I think only I should call me a WOP, not other folks. Cause if you call me a name like that, the Sopranos would be nothing.

 

Dr. SUZY

I am so used to being respectful of other people offenses, but I myself am not so sensitive about that.

Michael Dopchie says, “Good evening Suzy, please put on beautiful stockings and stiletto heels.” Sorry, Michael, but I am naked tonight and that is why you do not see me….  and Jux Lii now says “Ah! I was wondering why we only see Captain Max, thought maybe something was broken.”

 

MAX

’cause only the lower half is naked of me.

 

Dr. SUZY

Hmm right? I’m all naked.

 

MAX

The top part has a very sort of fanciful shirt.

 

Dr. SUZY

I like to call it mushrooms.

 

MAX

Mushrooms yeah, if you look at this, you might think you’re on mushrooms

 

Dr. SUZY

Speaking of mushrooms, our throwback show, the set – and I have to give her credit – Tasia designed it. And it’s just being on mushrooms. It’s like mushrooms. It is so beautiful and hallucinogenic. And we did this great show that is now our throwback in the wake of, actually the bombings in Boston that had happened in 2013. It was a show we called “Drop Bras, Not Bombs,” and it was again a time when it was not like we were really strongly getting into the antiwar mode, like when we were, say, protesting against the Iraq war because that decision was in the hands of our President, President Bush, and we got out there and really were strongly against the war and it felt like we had to do it. So in a way, it wasn’t useless.

And yet there are certain circumstances where you have mixed feelings. You know these guys that bombed Boston they were two young guys and they were against the Iraq war. They were committing an act of what we call terrorism. I don’t know what to call it. It’s evil, that’s for sure. And it was at the Boston Marathon. It was very, very tragic, a murderous atrocity committed by two young guys. And so we did a show about how important it is to practice peace through pleasure on earth.

On a national level we shouldn’t be bombing Iraq. And that was our country doing the bombing. Although it was Bush and Cheney’s decision, we somehow put them in office. Although actually, that was Scalia’s decision. It’s these corporations, brothers and sisters! It’s the money. We’ve got to be more socialist. We’ve also got to live life as individuals, so we’ve got to make like bonobos, release our inner bonobos, try to find our potential for peace and not to act out our anger for war and more war and bombs and more bombs.

So, we talked about sexual values on that show, the value of hot love and not perma war. The value of exploding orgasms and not exploding ordinance. The value of dildos and vibrators and not drones and bombs. The value of bare boobies. Drop bras not bombs.

 

MAX

Not bombs.

 

Dr. SUZY

And not naked aggression. The value of pussy juice. And Lube and not blood for oil. The value of hard dicks and not hard-nosed dickheads. The value of people in bed with their lovers and not journalists embedded with the military industrial complex which was going on then, which is going on now. These journalists so called.

I was almost a journalist and I saw this happening. I saw that the forced embedding of journalists with the government and the military industrial complex was becoming essential to getting ahead in journalism. You got to do that and it means that our mainstream media is Pro War all the time. So is Hollywood for that matter, at least the movies that are about the military or guns or anything.

We believe in the value of consensual BDSM and kink, and not colonial torture and terrorism. The value of masturbation and not occupation. Also copulation. That’s valuable too. Very valuable actually. A lot of fun. Did a lot of that Valentine’s weekend. Not sure what we’re doing this weekend, but we’re going bonobos for the Bonobo Way and not acting like baboons with bombs.

So yeah, we had a great show. Amor was there with very sexy Lexie Rose and Livia Godiva. Wow, and Moe the Monster, Moe Johnson. Wow, and you know his monster came out to play and this is a good kind of monster. This is the male member monster that we love and you know, sometimes I think a bit about all of these bombs and guns and other lethal penis substitutes.  Just love your penis, guys! Just love your penis please. And not these bombs. Enjoy our throwback.

What else, Captain Max?

 

MAX

Well, I’m excited about a lot of things.

 

Dr. SUZY

What are you excited about?

 

MAX

I’m I’m excited about the fact that I’m 80 years old and I’m still alive. Everything kind of works. Sort of some parts don’t work too. Well, like the heart, it’s okay.

 

Dr. SUZY

It worked pretty well this past Valentine’s weekend.

 

MAX

It did, sort of.

 

Dr. SUZY

It did very well. And we’ve got to keep it in shape because that’s when guys die of a heart attack during sex, it’s when they don’t do it for a while and then suddenly they do it.

 

MAX

Right.

 

Dr. SUZY

So be careful about that.

 

MAX

Yeah, don’t suddenly do it. You guys and maybe women, but mostly it’s guys. Do it, you know, do it, do it. But don’t do it every time you your thing tells you to do it.

 

Dr. SUZY

You mean, your penis?

 

MAX

Yeah, ’cause you can get yourself in trouble. If the penis says, “What are you doing man?”

 

Dr. SUZY

Right, sometimes you guys have these conversations with your penis. Women, to some degree have conversations with our pussies. There’s Pussy Talk, for sure.

 

MAX

Oh yeah.

 

Dr. SUZY

Your pussy tells you things, it does, but maybe not the same things. It does, but maybe not the same things.

 

MAX

All men talk to their dicks, I can tell you that. There isn’t a guy I’ve ever met that hasn’t said something and gotten an answer.

 

Dr. SUZY

Always in fact, usually the dick starts the conversation with something like “Hey, I like her or him or it.”

 

MAX

The dick raises a flag, and not in a false way.

 

Dr. SUZY

Or it says I don’t like her or him never and I’m staying this way and I’m not going to like it. OK, you want to use Viagra? OK, I might get hard but I still won’t give you that emotional desire you know. Emotional desire does not come with Viagra.

 

 MAX

And it’s dangerous. What if all of a sudden you make me be hard for 8 hours?

 

Dr. SUZY

Yeah, that’s what Viagra can do.

 

MAX

Then yeah, then you have to run to the hospital and everybody is kind of laughing at you when they’re not in the room

 

Dr. SUZY

Although I remember when you took Viagra and I took it too, I took a half a tab and it gave us some nice hallucinations. Not quite as good as mushrooms.

 

MAX

No, but when the first time I took Viagra I only took it. Once it was like very acidy colorful and and Blues and just beautiful really. And then I felt the knocking and my pants.

 

Dr. SUZY

I remember I saw the knocking in your pants. We were talking about something not sexy, like groceries. I don’t know, but I was thinking, wow, he’s hard not even talking about anything sexy.

 

MAX

Guys, you know what we’re talking about? You call us at 213-291-9497. Now keep in mind this is our therapy line. OK, so if the recording the information line is on, uh, just press 9 if someone answers in person, be nice to them, these are nice bonobos. He’d be nice, don’t worry. Where you were. What are you wearing?  What do you mean?  What am I wearing? so 213-291-9497 First caller that calls and says they, like me, is going to get one of our special magazines. I’m selling these magazines for $100. ‘Cause they’re very, very very limited. OK so, but I will send it to you and you don’t even have to pay the postage. How’s that, huh, right? 213-291-9497. So what else?

 

Dr. SUZY

David D is on YouTube and says, “My girl wants me to talk dirty in bed but I feel like such fraud doing it. Do you have any advice on getting into dirty talk? I’m feeling so fake and embarrassed doing it.” That sounds like the same question we got last week, but we got it at the end of the show, so he’s asking again now.

 

MAX 

You can call us and we give you dirty talking lessons. We can help you with how to approach it. 

 

Dr. SUZY

Well, we could do that, but of course, that’s going to cost him something. Maybe his girlfriend could give him dirty talking lessons. She’s there, she says she’s into it. He says “My girl wants me to talk dirty in bed.”  She could give him dirty talking lessons. 

 

MAX 

Does she talk dirty to him? 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Well, that’s a good question. You know that’s the problem with these comments. Yeah, let me just say, brothers and sisters, this is why we would like you to call, as opposed to commenting sometimes, because when you put your question in a comment, we always have questions about your question that you can’t necessarily answer. My first question is: Is she just like laying there, not saying anything, just expecting you to talk dirty and do all the work? Or is she talking dirty and she just wants you to participate? Because there’s quite a difference. If she is already doing it, you know you can just learn from her. You can do the mirror exercise.  You imitate what she’s saying, but from your point of view. We could talk a little more about that, except I don’t know if she’s talking dirty to you or just saying she wants you to do all the dirty talk. 

 

MAX 

Am I? 

 

Dr. SUZY

Sometimes that’s a good idea too, to take turns turning each other on, like you turn one person on until they come, and then you turn the other person on until they come. 

 

MAX 

OK, that sounds very good. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

And in that case, if she herself is no help, you might be inspired by reading some erotica with dirty talk. That is, if you don’t want to spend the money of talking dirty on the phone with a phone sex operator or with us, we are phone sex therapists.  You can also call a phone sex operator if all you want to do is talk dirty. We can talk dirty with you too, but we might be a little more educational about it. We might also find out why you feel like such a fraud doing it, David D.  Because that’s kind of interesting, that you feel like a fraud.

 

MAX 

Yeah, that’s kind of interesting. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Usually there’s some form of so-called dirty talk that you can be comfortable with. But, really what is dirty about it? I don’t even like the term dark dirty talk honestly, do you? I don’t like it.  I like explicit, X rated, erotic, sexy. “Dirty” sounds like you’re having sex in the mud. I mean, some people like that. 

 

MAX 

Now when you say I want to have sex with Jesus, that’s kind of dirty. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Not to me. 

 

MAX 

Not to you, right exactly. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

See, I don’t think that’s dirty. I think wanting to have sex with Jesus is divine and kind of beautiful. It mixes religion and mysticism and compassion with sexual desire.  And maybe a certain celibacy with other humans.  After all, the nuns are supposed to be married to Jesus, so they have that fantasy built into them, starting with the novices. But David D probably doesn’t want to talk about Jesus, though who knows? 

 

MAX 

So he’s married to a bunch of women? 

 

Dr. SUZY 

I don’t know, he says he feels like a fraud being dirty, talking dirty, this guy. 

 

MAX 

Oh no, no, no no, I mean Jesus. He’s married to a bunch of women? 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Oh Jesus. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Jesus is married to all of us, Max. 

 

MAX 

But that’s illegal. It’s illegal in California to have two wives. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

I am not going to follow that train. 

 

MAX 

Or two husbands.

 

Dr. SUZY 

I am taking another train. 

 

MAX 

So, what else you got? 

 

Dr. SUZY 

OK, do you want me to do my kink delivery here? 

 

MAX 

Yes, yes, and I’ll shut up 

 

Dr. SUZY 

No, don’t shut up. You could say things sometimes. 

 

MAX 

You know you could say things sometimes. I won’t say a word. I might go to the bathroom or the kitchen or something or go under the towel. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Listen, listen, this is this is just a sense of the kink article. Its a very big long piece, and it’s very much for reading. It’s not for speaking. So you should interject.  

 

MAX 

Really? 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Yes really. Not a lot though.  I love myself, don’t I? And you love yourself, Captain Max, if I am not mistaken.  So should I proceed? 

 

MAX 

Oh, absolutely, absolutely. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

All right. Should I raise my hand or just? No, no, no. You should feel the rhythm. You should feel me, you should. 

 

MAX 

Feel you? 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Yes 

 

MAX 

You want me to come over there and feel your tits? 

 

Dr. SUZY 

No, but well, yes, though then you wouldn’t be on microphone anymore and I am here on my mic, naked. 

 

MAX 

There’s this guy here knocking on my door. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Would you like to hear about kink, Capt’n Max? Prince Max? 

 

MAX 

Yes. And it’s great. It’s an incredibly great, insightful piece. For the enlightened and the non- enlightened. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

And I call it: Kink: A Guide for the Perplexed, with apologies to Maimonides who wrote the original Guide for the Perplexed, which is really a religious tract about God.  And so this is another kind of Guide for the Perplexed. We have a series on DrSusanBlockInstitute.com. It includes “Sex, Love and Dating in the Coronapocalypse,” “Sexy Masks,” “Cougar Sexuality,” “Gangbang Therapy,” and a bunch of different pieces in our Guides for the Perplexed, with many apologies to Maimonides. Well, at least we give him credit which is more than he gets from a lot of people who use his title, Guide for the Perplexed, for their stuff. I looked it up. Anyway, kink. Is in the air. Whether it shocks you to your core or leaves you wanting more, kink is everywhere in the clothes you wear the body parts you bare. The languages you speak, the foods you eat, kinks of various kinds, pervade art, entertainment, media, technology, business, sports, gaming, politics and protests, not to mention human sexuality, romance, relationships and your deepest sexual fantasies. So, how kinky are you? Do you want to be kinkier? Or maybe not so kinky? Is your favorite kink an erotic pleasure beyond compare? Or a deep dark secret you’re afraid to share? Or is it a complex kinky combo of the two? Come with me. On a fascinating, stimulating sex educational journey through kink in nature, art, history, Love, technology, and your brain. 

 

MAX 

Wowee! 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Okay, that’s a taste for now. I think you need to read the rest. Because the first thing I get into is the etymology of kink and I don’t know if I should get into that on the show, although some people are etymology fetishists, they love to hear the root of words and a lot of people don’t think about the fact that kink means bend or twist, and that it originally meant a twist in a rope. 

 

MAX 

Right, right. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

And that the first person to say in writing that a kink was a mental state… do you remember? 

 

MAX 

Remember? No, I don’t remember that, but that’s interesting. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

It was our third president and the writer of the Declaration of Independence who was very influenced by your ancestor Gaetano Filangieri. 

 

MAX 

I see. 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Thomas Jefferson. Right. Thomas Jefferson, right? He talked about kink as an unusual state of mind. 

 

MAX 

Yeah, yeah, you know, when I grew up in Montclair. They used to have a term called twisted. He’s twisted. What was that? 

 

Dr. SUZY 

Well, a twist is a kink. And twisted still means kinky. In a way, it’s got a more negative connation.  Actually, Iris Murdoch, in her great book, The Nice and the Good, says, “Sex comes to most of us with a twist.” 

 

MAX 

Very good. Who said that? 

 

Dr. SUZY

Iris Murdoch, a very distinguished author of The Nice and the Good. Not a porno author.  Not a Dominatrix, to my knowledge.

 

MAX

Porno authors…

 

Dr. SUZY

Maybe she’s a secret Dominatrix, and maybe she secretly writes erotica. But in any case, “Sex comes to most of us with a twist,” and after all, remember that popular dance in the 1960s?

 

MAX

The twist, yeah, let’s do the twist.

 

Dr. SUZY

Chubby Checkers did the Twist. To do the dance, you had to twist your body, but there was a double meaning to the Twist.

 

MAX

It was.

 

Dr. SUZY

It meant “kink,” which was not a popular word.

 

Dr. SUZY

The word twist was more popular, like being twisted.

 

MAX

People were outraged by those twists.

 

Dr. SUZY

Well also because you shook your fanny.

 

MAX

And and yeah, you shook your fanny. And the girls on American Bandstand, especially, wow, love those Bobby Socks.

 

Dr. SUZY

And kinky Elvis Presley.

 

MAX

My Levis were almost bursting.

 

Dr. SUZY

Yes, yes, that’s right.

 

MAX

Yeah, so yeah, the article was great. Thanks. With those little bobbysocks, you couldn’t see the ankle really. It was almost like a Victorian table.

 

Dr. SUZY

It was almost like a Victorian table. Well, that creates kink. Whenever you have limitations to the free expression of sex, which we have in nature and in human civilization. There are always going to be impediments to just having an orgasm. To just falling into each other’s arms and having vanilla sex.  So that other thing could be perceived to be a kink. And yeah, these kinks are becoming more acceptable. Certainly vanilla sex isn’t considered as prime as it used to be. And yet all this stuff is still considered kink.

 

MAX

Is it like, sex?

 

Dr. SUZY

It’s sex, but it isn’t always sex expressed as vanilla sex. It’s not always expressed as penis in vagina sex or even anything to do with penises or vaginas, although penises and vaginas can be kinks. OK. But feet can be kinks and fingernails. 

 

MAX

And then there’s industrial.

 

Dr. SUZY

There’s industrial kink. Well, like the Demask latex corset that I’m wearing in the lead picture on the kink article.

 

MAX

Rubber yeah, yeah.

 

Dr. SUZY

That you find at https://DrSusanBlockinstitute.com/kink. Yes, Jux Lii agrees. We love etymological insight.  It’s so much fun to take apart the words and find out where they come from.  It does help us to understand our history, and we need all the help we can get.  Since all these corrupt politicians are rewriting our history, at least our words can hold seeds of historic truth.

 

MAX

Oh, it’s all being Rewritten, how nice it was in the 50s and the 40s and the 30s. It was just so nice then. You didn’t have phones, you didn’t. You didn’t have heat, you didn’t have a lot of stuff, and the women were in the kitchen. Women in the kitchen.

 

Dr. SUZY

You like that Captain?

 

MAX

No, but I’m gonna tell you how you wash dishes sometime.

 

Dr. SUZY

Oh OK, I haven’t done that in a while.

 

MAX

Should I tell that story?

 

Dr. SUZY

If you have a kink for it, sure.

 

MAX

Alright, so OK.  I’m getting married to this woman here.

 

Dr. SUZY

Actually it was before that.

 

MAX

Yeah, it was before that. So I’m at her house,  at her condo and I’m walking around and they go into the kitchen and the kitchen is piled up with dishes and pots and pans. So I said, oh, the sink is full of pots and pans, and then I think you said the maid is coming.  Somebody said the maid is coming tomorrow or something.

 

Dr. Suzy

You make me sound like one of the rich who ought to get fucked.

 

MAX

Now listen to this story would you please? And then, we’ll give out your financial information so people know you’re not rich. So anyway, I said I’ll do the dishes. And she says no, no, I’ll do the dishes.  Well, at my age, and coming from another time and place, I mean, I never saw my Mother do the dishes, so this was a new experience for me.

 

Dr. SUZY

That’s why you married me.

 

MAX

Yeah, so she goes into the kitchen and a couple of minutes later she comes out.

 

Dr. SUZY

Ladies, if you’re like me, marry a man whose mother didn’t do the dishes. He might make fun of you for not doing the dishes.  He might mock you on your own radio podcast, but he will not make you do the dishes.

 

Dr. SUZY

Go on.

 

MAX

So a couple of minutes later she comes out. I don’t hear any pots and pans. She comes out, and we continue doing whatever we were doing, and then I go back to the kitchen. And there’s a big towel over the dishes and the pots and pans, with perfume.

 

Dr. SUZY

Well,  you have to describe it. I threw a big, clean pastel-colored towel over the whole thing, very neatly.  And then I sprayed perfume all over the towel. Good perfume. While pirouetting around it.

 

MAX

And I had a big smile on my face when I saw that towel.

 

Dr. SUZY

You sure did.

 

MAX

So there you go. You see, I’ve never seen her do dishes, and I’ve never seen my Mother do the dishes.

 

Dr. SUZY

That’s right.  Like I said, ladies, if you don’t want to do the dishes, let your man make fun of you for not doing the dishes. I sound like Maribel Morgan. And you’re not supposed to say ladies and gentlemen anymore. OK, everybody is asking me my pronouns and I’m starting to think I shouldn’t be she her. I should be something more interesting, right? Like?

 

MAX

It could be a he/she.

 

Dr. SUZY

I could be a gobbledegook.  I could be a she/he.  I have a guy inside of me.

 

MAX

and I have a girl inside of me and another guy.

 

Dr. SUZY

I have a guy inside of you. Jung called that the anima and the animus. The animus, no that’s my anus.  Oh, right.

 

MAX

Oh, OK, so this towel is really nice. I’m standing there with a smile. And I’m thinking to myself, I gotta marry this chick, she’s cool, she’s really cool. She doesn’t do dishes.

 

Dr. SUZY

Jung said that every man has an anima, and every woman has an animus. Now Jung was a bit of a Nazi, you see.

 

MAX

Yeah, yeah.

 

Dr. SUZY

Everybody is double edged, except you and me. We’re perfect.

 

MAX

The day I realized that, it really put me at peace.

 

Dr. SUZY

That nobody is perfect, not even your heroes?

 

MAX

No, that I’m perfect.

 

Dr. SUZY

Ha!

 

MAX

Oh, I’m not perfect.

 

Dr. SUZY

You know you, you’ve always felt that way. I’m kind of in awe at that. You feel at peace with yourself just being you.

 

MAX

Well, imagine that you’re not. That’s a fucked up life.

 

Dr. SUZY

I don’t have to imagine. I feel good, but I never feel perfect. I’m constantly maneuvering and switching and changing and that’s why I’m not sure what my pronouns should be, although I still keep coming back to she/her. But, in my fantasies, I am all different genders and nonhuman animals and fantasy characters and oops, I’m back on the mushrooms again.

 

MAX

Ah, yes.

 

Dr. SUZY

So I am not quite sure what the reality is, especially lately, and honestly I do have a lot of insecurity about that and I’m not ashamed to admit it. And, I don’t think it’s an asset to be so insecure about reality, but I feel that it is increasing, actually. With the way the world looks, I certainly am not sure what’s really going on, such as with this Ukraine war. Between all the false flags and the war cheerleading media, and the comedian/president, the neoliberal president and the dictator, warmongers saying “we” won’t go to war, but the other side will, so we have to retaliate.  It’s really quite the Theater of the Mind. Now the Theater of the Mind, has gone outside the mine into the media, where it goes back into our minds, so brothers and sisters, I’d just say keep having sex of some kind or another because it  might help to keep you sane. And, of course, make sure it’s consensual. Nowadays, it’s very difficult to find vanilla sex with other people in a consensual manner.  I’m not saying it’s impossible and people do it all the time, of course, and more power and pleasure to everyone for it, but if you have difficulty with that, then perhaps kink will be part of your answer. Certainly all kinds of sex on the Internet are a form of kink, even if it’s about vanilla sex, you’re doing it through the Internet. So there’s a kink to that. There’s a twist to that, and that’s OK. Why is that? Ok, because this is the world we live in, it’s just, you gotta always balance it out and that’s very personal and kink has got to be a part of that. If it interests you, great. If it doesn’t interest you, forget about it. You’re a straight arrow darling, and you are unusual, but most people have kinks and we have twists. So if we don’t come to terms with those kinks and twists and figure out which ones are just a part of us and which ones are passing fancies brought on by the media or by technology itself, or by childhood trauma. We tend to not be able to get rid of these kinks. They are intense. Good or bad or a combination, you need to deal with your kinks, so it might be therapeutic for you to get into kink therapy.

And if that’s what you want, you might want to call that number 213-291-9497 when we’re not doing the show. When we are, that number goes to the show. When we’re not, it goes to the Institute.

 

MAX

You can always find us. And if you really want a great catalog of our ship, you can go to Google and put in DrSusanBlock. There’s all kinds of stuff there, thousands and thousands, and thousands of pages, hundreds of thousands of pictures, and it’s made possible through the therapy, which we charge you for.

 

Dr. SUZY

Because that’s personal and takes our personal time.  Hey we have Danielle and Chef BeLive on the line. Danielle Watts and Chef Belive – we spoke to them last week so they need no introduction. And also we’re at the end of the show, so we don’t have time for an introduction, so speak your piece, Daniele and BeLive.

 

DANIELE WATTS

Dr. Suzy!!  Are you there?

 

Dr. SUZY

I am here.

 

CHEF BELIVE

I love you, love you, love you, love you!

 

Dr. SUZY

Make love, not war.  I kink you too. Make Kink, Not War.

 

DANIELE WATTS

Love you.

 

CHEF BELIVE

I love you, love you, love you, love you, love you.

 

Dr. SUZY

Sounds like you’re high on whatever spilled all over Max’s shirt.

 

MAX

We love you too.

 

CHEF BELIVE

We love you much.

 

Dr. SUZY

We’re giving you air time. One minute.

 

MAX

One minute.

 

CHEF BELIVE

OK.

 

MAX

Tell us, tell us.

 

CHEF BELIVE

You have filled out my realms of Beingness. You have inspired me so deeply in so many ways.

 

MAX

I told you I was wonderful.

 

CHEF BELIVE

Yeah, exactly not in those four years of meeting connecting with you both and gentle love. The last month has been such a crazy, crazy deep revelation in my own present personal and noble soul, like I was awarded as a Bonobo couple and I had an open heart and open body mostly or the most. But you both have inspired me to great links. And the love she’s been like the cherry to my Sunday with you. Both seen all the ingredients.

 

Dr. SUZY

Ooh yummy.

 

CHEF BELIVE

Thank you. Love you yeah we love you guys too so.

 

Dr. SUZY

Love you you so much and by the way our whole long conversation, which included lots of ups and downs, including your conflict with the yoga studio people who are acting a little fascistic and racist. If you don’t mind my saying, running the story which you told but we have that whole conversation.

 

CHEF BELIVE

Second, crossing over.

 

Dr. SUZY

On https://drsusanblock.com/fdr-lupercalia.  That is a transcript of the conversation which we had, and we’ll do another for this because we’re very excited about these conversations that we have on FDR.

 

CHEF BELIVE

Thanks to you.

 

Dr. SUZY

And we need to have them printed out for people to read, so that’s what we’re doing now.  We also did it with our show 2 weeks ago.

 

MAX

I see.

 

Dr. SUZY

And by the way, Cat Peggy has written she loves us on Facebook and she is on the show 2 weeks ago which is at  https://drsusanblock.com/fdr-valentine. Love you both, so there’s a lot of love.  Leftover from Valentine’s Day that I’m trying to turn into Kink for My Manifesto. Anyway, it’s all kinky love because we’re not in the same room.  And because you know all of this, love is pretty kinky nowadays and that is spicy, hot and delicious.

 

DANIELE WATTS

Dr. Suzy!

 

MAX

You guys are great so listen we gotta go, we gotta go.

 

Dr. SUZY

You’re delicious.

 

DANIELE WATTS

Awww….

 

Dr. SUZY

Talk to you later. Call us earlier next time because we got to have the trains run on time by that’s right I mean that is one thing we do like those fascists. Well, we don’t actually. The trains do not run on time, but we try.  Because we got to live in this Capitalogenic world. So here we are we love all people, brothers and sisters, and we hope you participate with us in the Vice TV Documentary that is going to be done on Bonoboville, so get excited.  Get involved. I’m not sure how we’re going to do it, but we are somehow going to do it in the midst of the pandemic. And you know how careful I’ve been all through the pandemic, but we’re going to do so. Something to get ourselves together for this vice TV because hey, media calls. I think we’ve got to say goodbye because it is, well, we didn’t say goodbye.

 

MAX

We said goodbye.

 

Dr. SUZY

We said goodbye. We said goodbye to Danielle and BeLive, which is a big deal, but we have to say goodbye to everyone.

 

Dr. SUZY

To everyone, to each and every one of you. The entire universe, right here, on Earth and in the metaverse.

 

MAX

Yes, and we love you.

 

Dr. SUZY

Every person, every brother and sister, every lover and Sinner, every child of sex.

 

MAX

With one or two exceptions.

 

Dr. SUZY

And that doesn’t mean real children. We are all children of sex with a capital X.  We may or may not be children of God, Jesus or Allah. But until we start cloning ourselves, we are all children of sex. Can I get an Amen?

 

MAX

Amen

 

Dr. SUZY

Can I get an Awomen?

 

MAX and Crew

Awomen!

 

Dr. SUZY

I gotta feel like I gotta do all the other genders but I don’t have time. I gotta go, so hey, make like bonobos, not baboons Make Love, not war, Make Love to someone you love tonight even if that someone is you.  Make kink, not war.

I love you.

 

MAX

And here’s a little something for the beer drinkers.

 

Show Length 01:19:44  Date: February 19, 2022

© February 19,  2022 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 213-291-9497.

 

 

 

 

 


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