Bonobo Gal Bacchanal
Length 1:56:43:00 Date: Nov. 15, 2014
It’s our first live broadcast after The Bonobo Way book launch from the new Womb Room, but I’m so engrossed in the Great Kindle Giveaway—in which our “Amazon Bestsellers Rank” dropped from 400,000 to 1291 in two breathless days!—that I don’t even find out who this show’s guests are until they sashay into the Speakeasy, all high heels, low tops and glitter. Then they jump into bed with me, and all heaven breaks loose.
The leader of this sexpot pack is clown princess Amanda Blow, another prodigal daughter returning to new Bonoboville, hotter and more limber than ever. Living up to her name and deftly demonstrating Step 5 of the 12 Steps to Releasing Your Inner Bonobo: “Mix Food and Sex,” Amanda gives Dark Phoenix a “Rainbow Blowjob,” neatly wrapping a multi-color fruit rollup around his ready erection and then proceeding to voraciously lick and suck the object of her gustatory affection, a spectrum of vibrant hues swirling from his dick to her tongue. But that’s just the appetizer, as Amanda has a need to be filled, and “poly-handy” Dark Phoenix has just the tool to fill it. During the afterparty, they have hard humping sex in half the positions in the Bonobo Sutra, de-virginizing most of the furniture in the Womb Room, all while reading (or, at least, pretending to read) The Bonobo Way, sometimes out loud.
Amanda’s “sidekick” is tall voluptuous ginger-haired Amber Golde, formerly “Smoking Amber,” another woman of a certain profession who has worked on one of our old buddy Dennis Hof’s Bunnyranches. Amber is also one of the stars of the viral video “Drone Boning” (featured on “The Colbert Report” and “Conan” )playing one of several figures caught fornicating on a landscape by a camera drone. The film cleverly shows a creative use of device that is usually used for extremely destructive purposes.
Are you listening Obama? Or do you want to go down in history as “O-bomb-a,” trading your bombs for their beheadings? How about trying another way—the Bonobo Way—the way of love-not-war, the way of undermining your so-called enemy through Weapons of Mass Seduction, not Destruction? How about using all those overpriced drones to drop porn instead of ordnance? That would do more to disrupt the ISIS flow with “disaffected youth” than any bomb O-bomb-a drops. I’m not expecting Barack to penis-fence with Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, but it is an interesting fantasy…
Amanda also brings sweet Jenny Buss of the Buss Family who explains that she is the divorced (caught cheating) but still loving daughter-in-law of the late Jerry Buss, famed owner of the Lakers, now involved with controversial hiphop artist Grandmaster Jay. Hot MILF mom of three, Jenny busts loose for Bonoboville Communion, presenting her ample tatas for my personal delectation and intoxication. Naturally, that propels me into a wild Sybian ride. Hey, it’s a celebration! It also inspires a heartfelt thank you to former Laker and three-time championship winner John Sally who really helped me out of a bind over a decade ago. Thanks John!
Into this girlpile strides the hottest lady limo driver in LA, her long golden tresses swinging like a horsetail flogger, Tammie Parrott, chic chauffeur to sheiks and princes, as well as donor to Bonoboville and recipient of a very specially signed book. We love Tammie—a great bonoboësque lady who demonstrates the power of picking up the check—and the Fun-Raiser continues!
What a night! What a launch. We’re almost at the end of the Great Kindle Giveaway as I post this, so you’ll probably have to pony up $6.69 for yours. A small price to pay to help change the world… or at least improve your love life.