Length 01:29:34 Date: April 1, 2017

by Dr. Susan Block

Breaking News: Donald J. Trump quits the presidency, calling it “sad,” “disgraceful” and “unfair,” to start a new TV channel that will “make television great again!”

April Fool’s (of course)! That might well happen, but not soon enough—and obviously, not on April Fool’s Day when we broadcast this show live. Unfortunately, the Big Fool-in-Chief is still in the White House, sucking all the fun out of April Fools’ jokes, because there are few jokes bigger than him. Who could parody his April Fool’s Day tweets? They’re already a presidential parody, one ranting against “the failing NY Times” as “fake news” for which we should “change libel laws” (Capt’n Max has a very personal bone to pick with that one), another praising the news reporting of John Layfield whose Twitter profile credits him primarily as the “longest reigning WWE Champ in Smackdown TV history.” It’s all just Don-foolery, until you remember… the joke’s on us.

So, to take out our frustrations with this “Unpresidented” administration, we have our adult baby Trump-the-Big-Dickhead-with-a-Tiny-Penis doll, still sick from his much-trumpeted TrumpCare Fail. Indeed, the real Trump is acting rather ill, ambling like a sleepwalker out of an executive order-signing ceremony without signing the executive order. He also seems to be metamorphosing before our eyes from a bright mango orange to golden shower gold to a pale sickly buttercup yellow. In effigy, we bandage our Trump Doll, put him under gag order with a penis irrigator and surround him with Vulva Puppets, aka “pussies”  (though he can’t “grab” them, since he has no arms, not even those tiny hands). For April Fool’s Day, we place a large conical white dunce’s hat on our Fool-in-Chief’s head. Clemmy writes the word “DUNCE” on the hat to make sure it looks like a fool’s cap, not a KKK hat, but it still looks like a KKK hat anyway, especially on Trump.

Mistress Erikka, Mark & Johnny

Joining us to small penis-humiliate and Bonobo Way book-spank Trump and other fools is Mistress Erikka Rijks. Winner of the 2016 SUZY Award for “Sweetest Mistress,” Mistress Erikka is joining us again for the first time since her debut on DrSuzy.Tv for Spanksgiving 2016.

It being April Fool’s, we invite a professional “fool,” stand-up comic Mark Hoadley  (thanks Joe Williamson). Mark often plays the Comedy Store where he has opened for the great Margaret Cho, and he is happy to play our fool on this show of congenial foolishness.

At first, I call us “Fools for Love,” though giddy “lust” might better describe the general mood than “love” on this particular show. Oddly, “Fool for Love” is the name of an amazing Sam Sheppard play (that I saw more than once in San Francisco) about two passionate on-and-off lovers who are also (spoiler alert!) half brother and sister. Mistress Erikka resonates with the incest theme, often playing the “Domme-y Mommy” in fantasy roleplay, fond of going back and forth between being the strict punishing Mother and the all-suffering, sacrificing Mama. She is what the BDSM world calls a “switch,” and she shows us more and more of her switchy nature throughout the evening.

Our third “guest,” Bonoboville editorial staff member Johnny Jungle, was literally born into April Foolishness, as April 1^st is his birthday. After some verbal John-foolery, Johnny or JJ (sporting a sporty new Mark Brown haircut) delivers a Spoken Word poem, for which he receives—as both reward and punishment—a pants-down birthday spanking from Mistress Erikka.

Not having been spanked as a kid (though he was threatened), JJ’s on-camera, “birthday suit” birthday spanking appears to be an April Fool’s baby breakthrough of sorts, the aftershocks of which continue well-beyond the after-party.

For taking his spanking like a “good boy,” he is unequivocally rewarded with a sensuous and scrumptious Bonoboville Communion, with Mistress Erikka’s right nipple serving as his altar. Then the lovely Gypsy Bonobo helps him “assume the position,” laying back in the lap of birthday luxury between Mistress Erikka’s gartered thighs to receive his Waterboarding, Bonobo-Style, with delicious Agwa de Bolivia Herbal Coca Leaf Liqueur, winner of the 2016 SUZY for “Best Liqueur.” Down the hatch goes the Agwa, and around his neck goes the springy green Agwa lei. So yes, Johnny really does “get lei’ed” on his birthday, for which his Bonoboville colleagues applaud, as do his slightly amazed—and envious—friends in the studio audience.

For his Fool’s Punishment, Mark gets a pants-down, but (very orange!) underpants-up flogging, Florentine-style, from the well-equipped and obliging Mistress Erikka. Then he receives his reward, choosing the sweet Mistress’ left nipple for his Bonoboville Communion and taking his Agwa Waterboarding with a smile as big as Trump’s Dunce cap.

The smiles, floggings and fooling around continue well into the after-party, along with a big fruity gooey birthday pie, and even more foolishness, from the Bonoboville dungeon to the Captain‘s quarters, in keeping with this Day (and Night) of Fools.

Bonobo Fools

Fooling around is very bonobo, and not *just* sexually speaking. Many psychologists consider humor, even if it’s just a chuckle, a hallmark of humanity, something that distinguishes humans from other animals. However, our kissing cousins, the bonobos, also love to laugh when tickled physically or mentally. Moreover, they even crack jokes, and the complexity of their funny bones could probably get some of them spots at the Comedy Store. To illustrate, I tell the tale of one of my show guests, “Champions of the Wild” filmmaker Christian Bruyère, and how the late great bonobo, Panbanisha, put him through a comedic gauntlet before consenting to let him film her. Via computer sign language and gestures, she turned the tables on the award-winning director, directing him to dress up in a gorilla costume and pretend to scare an on-site employee. Dutifully, Bruyère donned the furry suit, then beat his gorilla chest and chased the staff member down a hill. All the while, Panbanisha enjoyed the slapstick scene from her director’s chair. Only after Bruyère followed her precise, Keatonesque directions did this demanding diva consent to his original request that she be in his movie. I should be so smart in my dealings with LA filmmakers.

Speaking of LA and bonobos, I will be giving another talk on The Bonobo Way of FemDom Power—Part 2!—on Saturday morning, May 20^th, at 11:30 AM, at DomCon LA 2017 in the Hilton LAX. So get your ass (probably sore from being beaten at the Sanctuary party the night before) out of bed, coffee up and be there!

And speaking of Fools for Love, that’s what Capt’n Max and I have been for over a quarter century that’s passed like a quarter of an hour, so we are celebrating our 25^th Wedding Anniversary this coming Saturday, April 8^th.

In that regard, I have to defend Mike and Karen Pence’s kinky marital arrangement (of over 30 years)—wherein he’s not allowed to go to liquor-serving parties without her, nor have dinner with women alone—against some of my fellow liberals who have ridiculed and criticized them for these restrictions. Since long-term monogamy isn’t exactly natural, every couple should be allowed to define their own relationship “rules,” kinky or antiquated, seemingly immoral or hyper-moral. Of course, I am very much opposed to politicians like Pence legislating in favor of his particular marital morality, as he was inclined to do as Indiana’s Governor and still does as Vice to the Fool-in-Chief. If Mike likes wearing Karen’s chastity belt, that’s fine for them; however, he shouldn’t try to make the rest of us wear them too.

Thanks to this week’s volunteers and staff: Dr. Block and Johnny Jungle’s Hair by Mark Brown; Camera Operator – Sean Riedy, Conwell Stewart; Photographers – AJ, Joe Valde, Rick Slick; Intern –Maurice Plough; On-Campus Bonobos – Abe Perez, Del Rey, Gypsy Bonobo, Harry Sapien, Jacquie Blu, MarsFX, Johnny Jungle, Clemmy Cockatoo, Ana & Miguel. This show is co-ass. produced by Del Rey Bonobo and Harry Sapien. 

© April 1, 2017. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.